Choices
by Broadway007
Summary: Sequel to 'The Knife.' When an undercover op goes horribly wrong, Ziva has choices to make that could effect the lives of her and everyone she loves. Tiva! M for mentions of rape, language, and other adult content.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! Thanks for reading! This is the sequel to my story 'The Knife.' You don't necessarily have to read that to get this, but I think you should. LoL **

**Simple story line, I suppose. After an undercover operation goes awry, Ziva is hospitalized and has 3 choices. Wake up and resort back to cutting, wake up and allow herself to be vulnerable, or not wake up at all.**

**As always, reviews are appreciated and any ideas you give me will almost certainly be incorporated into the story. ^_^**

* * *

_He was larger than Tony. Larger than him and much, much more violent._

_But what more could one expect, she thought as he held her head to the mattress and thrust into her from behind._

_From a rapist._

* * *

"David! My office, now!"

Ziva's heart raced as she rose from her desk and walked with Gibbs towards the elevator. It had been 2 months since her last cutting setback, so she knew that wasn't the reason. She had passed her citizenship test with flying colors, so she knew that too wasn't the reason. Yet she couldn't shake the feeling that Gibbs was about to bring her less than pleasant news.

"How long's it been since you last cut?" he asked one he flipped the switch and stopped the elevator.

"Gibbs," Ziva said with a shake of her head. "You know that it has been two months, almost three. Why are you asking this?"

"Because," he sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "We've got another Hoffman."

Both Ziva's body and mind went tense and the mention of her first undercover operation. The man had almost killed her and yet his she still felt guilt whenever she thought of his dead body falling on top of her.

"What do you mean we have another Hoffman?"

"We've got a suspect who we're certain is the guy we've been trailing for months, but the only evidence we've got is circumstantial," Gibbs said as he leaned against the wall.

"And you are telling me this why? You know I have no problems going undercover," Ziva replied.

"Ziva, this guy doesn't just kill Marine wives. He assaults them, rapes them, _then_ cuts off their ring finger."

Ziva shook her head. "Gibbs, in case you have forgotten I can bring a man down in less than thirty seconds. If he even looks at me in the wrong manner, I will have him on the floor and cuffed in no time."

"He drugs them."

"Oh…" Ziva trailed off. She knew was Gibbs was telling her. He wanted her to go undercover and act as though she was in love with a man who she knows is a rapist.

"I'm not gonna give you this assignment if you don't want it, Ziver," he said. "We'll be tailing you guys just like we were with Hoffman and if anything goes wrong, we'll have your six. But there is the possibility he could slip the drugs into your drink. We would have you wired with a mic and with a camera and with everything else we've got, but--"

"I will take it," Ziva said firmly.

"You should think about it for a little while," Gibbs said. "Maybe talk it over with DiNozzo."

"I promised you that Tony and I's personal life would not interfere with our job. This man needs to be taken down and I am the only female on your team. You need me to go undercover and I will go undercover."

Gibbs took a deep breath before exhaling slowly. "Okay," he said finally. "We'll get all the info pulled together tonight and we'll get you started first thing tomorrow morning," he added as he flipped the switch back on.

"Thank you," she said as she took a deep breath. She was terrified of this op, yet she knew she had to do it.

* * *

"So what did you and the boss-man talk about in his office today?" Tony asked.

The two of them were sitting on their couch eating take out Chinese after Gibbs had finally let them off work.

"He would like me to go on an undercover op," Ziva said simply as she reached across him for a pouch of soy sauce.

"Really?" Tony asked, smiling as he watched her meticulously pour the sauce over her meal. "He didn't say anything to McGee or I about an undercover op…"

"He was not sure if I would be able to take it. He did not think I would want it, so he decided to ask me when it was just the two of us."

"Why would he think you wouldn't wanna take the job?"

"It is another Hoffman," she said looking up at him. "It is another man who goes after cheating Marine wives. The only difference is that this man drugs them, assaults them, rapes them, and _then_ kills them."

The entire time she was speaking, Ziva was staring down into her take out carton of food. She knew Tony would not take well to the fact that she was putting herself into that particular operation.

"Woah!" Tony said, setting his food onto the table. "What did you tell Gibbs?"

"I accepted it, of course."

"And you didn't think of asking me first?" Tony said, exasperation filling his voice.

"Tony," Ziva said as she placed her carton on the table next to his. "You and I have made a promise to Gibbs that our personal lives will have no effect on our duties as Special Agents. Gibbs needs someone to catch this man and I am the only female on the team."

Tony couldn't help both the anger and fear that rose in his throat.

"You still could have asked me!" he almost cried. "You're going undercover to pose as a Marine wife and pretend to fall in love with this guy, all the while knowing that he could rape you?? Ziva, you're not strong enough for this yet!"

Anger flashed through Tony's face.

"What do you mean I am not strong enough?" she demanded. "I have gone undercover dozens of times and not once have I allowed any of the operations to weaken me!"

"Ziva, that's not what I meant. I--"

"Forget it, Tony," Ziva said as she rose from the couch. "I am going to bed."

"Wait--"

"Good night, Tony," Ziva said as she bent down and kissed him briefly on the cheek. "I will see you when you come to bed."

Before he could utter another word, Ziva was halfway down the hall and he was left sitting in the living room with two cartons of Chinese, two fortune cookies, and an extremely empty living room.

Only a few moments had passed before Tony couldn't stand the silence of the living room anymore. He threw the cartons into the fridge, grabbed the cookies, and tip toed into their bedroom.

"Hey, sweet cheeks," he whispered in her ear as he climbed into their bed. "You forgot your fortune cookie," he added. It had become a tradition; they would race to finish their meal so whoever finished first would get first pick at their 'fortune.' "I'll even let you get first pick," he added with the hopes of pulling her from the shell she had formed.

"I am not weak, Tony," Ziva finally said after a few moments of silence.

"And I know that, Zi. I just…When you said there was another Hoffman and that you were gonna be going undercover to catch him, I…What if we're just a few minutes late like we were with Hoffman? What if rather than running in to find you kicking the bastard's ass, we run in to find him kicking yours?"

Ziva smiled gently as she rolled over and propped herself up on her elbows to stare at her fiancée. Lying in their bed with nothing but boxers on, Ziva almost got over her anger at that very moment.

"Nothing is going to happen, Tony," she said softly. "I am going to go undercover, lure this man into a confession and get all the evidence we need, and be back in your arms before the week is over."

"I know that we're gonna have you wired with countless bugs, but I can't shake the feeling that something awful is gonna happen during this op…" Tony sighed.

"And if it does, you will be there to help me recover. You will stop me from cutting and you will not let me leave your sight until I am up to your standards," Ziva said both matter-of-factly and jokingly.

"You make a good point there," Tony smiled. "Now how about we open our fortune cookies and get some sleep?" he asked as he held out the cookies with his goofy grin.

Ziva couldn't help but laugh as she closed her eyes and plucked one of the cookies from his hand and began to unwrap it.

She broke her cookie and popped half of it in her mouth before gingerly opening the tiny piece of paper and reading it. _Beware of new opportunities arising. They will end in sorrow._

"What's it say, sweet cheeks?" Tony asked, his mouth full of cookie.

"It says to beware of crazy, hot, animalistic sex with insatiable Special Agents," she grinned as she popped the other half of the cookie in her mouth.

"Oh, really?" Tony asked with a raised eyebrow. "Mine says the exact opposite; to _seek_ crazy, hot, animal sex with insatiable Special Agents…"

"I like yours better," Ziva replied as she bent down to crash her lips with Tony's, the pessimistic words of her 'fortune' ringing in her ears.

* * *

**So, lemme know what you think! It's not the best, but I think I can make it work. LoL**

**Hit that little green button!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for all the great reviews for Chapter 1! You guys have no idea how awesome it is to check my e-mail and find it filled with reviews and people adding me to their favorites. Honestly, dudes, you rock!**

**This is kind of a boring chapter—Ziva starts her undercover op and she meets with the suspect for the first time. I apologize for the lack of action, buuuuuutttttt….**

**There's Tiva smut at the end. Just some fluff I threw in there to make all of you blush. HeeHeeHee**

* * *

_She broke her cookie and popped half of it in her mouth before gingerly opening the tiny piece of paper and reading it. "Beware of new opportunities arising. They will end in sorrow."_

"_What's it say, sweet cheeks?" Tony asked, his mouth full of cookie. _

"_It says to beware of crazy, hot, animalistic sex with insatiable Special Agents," she grinned as she popped the other half of the cookie in her mouth._

"_Oh, really?" Tony asked with a raised eyebrow. "Mine says the exact opposite; to seek crazy, hot, animal sex with insatiable Special Agents…"_

"_I like yours better," Ziva replied as she bent down to crash her lips with Tony's, the pessimistic words of her 'fortune' ringing in her ears. _

* * *

"Will you stop shaking? You're rocking the damn car!"

"I am sorry, Gibbs," Ziva said as she willed her legs to stop their rapid up and down movements. "I do not know why I am so nervous," she added as she ran her hands through her hair.

Gibbs sighed as he pressed down on the gas pedal and continued their drive to the mall where Ziva was to begin her life as Gina DiNardo, a combination of both her undercover name and Tony's.

"There's still time to throw the towel in, Ziver," Gibbs said gruffly. "Agent Reynolds said he's got an agent who would be willing to take your place if you don't feel comfortable doing this."

"Gibbs," Ziva said, her voice a mixture of anger, determination, and the tiniest hint of fear. "I told you I would take this op and that is what I am going to do. I do not understand why none of you feel I am capable of doing this!"

They arrived at the mall and Gibbs pulled into a parking space, turning the engine off and moving so he could face Ziva.

"We know you're capable of this. That's not the issue. The issue is that we're not sure if you'll be able to handle the aftermath of this. All of us are gonna have your six, but there's a chance something could go wrong and you could be in serious danger. There's a chance--"

"That memories of Saleem will come back and I will be right back to rectangle one, yes?"

Gibbs couldn't help but chuckle at her mistake. "Its square one, not rectangle one."

"I will make a note of that," she replied. "Well, I am off," she said after a few moments of silence. "I will call you once I have made contact with him."

"Hold up!" Gibbs said, reaching over and placing a hand on her arm. "Let's go over your profile one last time." He knew she had studied her profile and all the facts about the case, yet he didn't want to risk even the possibility of another Hoffman.

"My name is Gina DiNardo and my husband Ryan DiNardo is stationed in Afghanistan. His name is Jonathan White and his wife cheated on him whilst he was on his first tour of duty in Iraq three years ago. He works at the Verizon kiosk in this mall and his favorite bar is Andy's Pub where he finds most of his victims. His signature method of operation is to buy his date a drink, slip some form of drug into it, take her to a random motel, then rape and kill her. My job is to flirt a little, get him to take me to the pub, pretend to be affected by the drugs, and when he tries to touch me, I kick his miserable ass. Am I missing anything?"

"Being safe," Gibbs said.

"I will," Ziva smiled. "Now may I go in there and catch this guy?"

"Guess so," the silver haired man said gruffly as he unlocked the doors.

* * *

"Hi, can I interest you in a new plan with Verizon?"

Ziva looked up from the case she had been pretended to peer into a smiled at the man who had asked her the question. She saw that his nametag read Jonathan and, as far as she could tell, he matched the profile she had so diligently studied.

"Actually," she smiled as she leaned seductively over the counter towards Jonathan. "I am looking for a new plan. You see, my husband is overseas in Afghanistan and the two of us like to have, um, lengthy, conversations he goes to sleep."

Jonathan raised his eyebrows. "What types of 'lengthy' conversations would you be having?" he asked.

"Well, he gets very lonely over there and I like to make sure her remembers what will be waiting for him when he returns," Ziva grinned.

"In that case," he replied, "I think we've got just the plan for you. How about you come over here and I'll see if we can interest you in any of them."

Ziva couldn't help but smile. She had gotten his attention and she knew that she had him right where she wanted. She pretended to listen to him rattle of details about the phone, nodding her head occasionally to make it seem as though she was paying attention. She continued to brush up against him as often as possible, making sure that her shirt gave him a fairly nice view.

Once she had purchased a new phone--courtesy of NCIS, of course--Ziva continued to flirt with Jonathan, hoping he would invite her out for drinks soon so she could call Gibbs and let him know.

"Gina, I hope you don't find this too forward, but I find you to be a very beautiful woman," Jonathan's voice said, snapping Ziva out of her trance.

"Well, Jonathan," Ziva said, "I find you to be a very handsome man, so I do not think you are being too forward at all."

"Then would it be too forward for me to ask you out for drinks? I get off at 4 and I know of this great pub that I think you would like."

"That is very sweet of you, Jonathan, but I have a husband," she sighed, pointing out the ring on her finger; the one Tony had bought for her. She felt a twinge of guilt at the thought of him, but she quickly brushed him from her head. She would see him tonight after drinks, she told herself.

"Who's all the way over in Afghanistan," he said. "He won't know if you're having drinks with a new friend. And, besides, even if he did know, I don't think he would mind all that much."

'_This was far too easy'_, Ziva thought to herself. "I do not think one night out with a 'new friend,'" she said with a smile, mimicking his terms, "would be all that bad. You finish work at 4, you said?"

"Yeah, and the pub is just down the road. It's called Andy's Pub and they've got the best bar-tenders in all of D.C."

"I will see you then," Ziva said with a wink before turning around and walking slowly away from the kiosk and towards the mall's exit.

* * *

"_Can you hear me, Ziva?"_

"Yes, McGee, I can hear you," Ziva whispered harshly. "We have tested these microphones half a dozen times and if you test them anymore, people are going to start to think that I am talking to myself!"

"_Sorry, we just wanna make sure you're covered completely. Now adjust your necklace so we can get sight on the bar. We wanna have a few extra pairs of eyes to watch for anything he might slip into your drinks."_

Ziva sighed as she began to fiddle with her necklace, following the instructions that McGee was feeding into her ear. She had quickly changed before coming to the pub and was now wearing a casual black dress with her natural curls falling down her shoulders.

"Hey there, pretty lady," a voice came from behind her.

"Jonathan!" she smiled as she stood up and gave him a quick hug. "You are right, I do like this place!"

"And wait until you taste the mojitos!" he laughed as he sat down on a stool next to her and signaled the bar-tender to bring them their drinks.

'_Sweetcheeks, are you giggling?' _Tony's voice came through Ziva's earpiece. _'I think ol' Johnny boy might like you better if you added a little snort to your laugh_,' he said with a laugh of his own.

"You are too funny," Ziva said as Jonathan continued to talk animatedly with her, though the comment was meant more for Tony than anyone else.

The two of them continued to sit at the bar and talk for a few more hours. Ziva actually found Jonathan rather interesting, yet she never lost sight of the fact that he was in fact a murderer and rapist and that she was only on a mission.

After finishing her second mojito, Ziva excused herself and made a trip to the bathroom, hoping to be able to speak to the team.

"McGee?" she said once she had thoroughly checked each of the stalls.

"_Nope,"_ a gruff voice said in her ear. _"Just me, Ziver. I sent McGee and DiNozzo out to grab some dinner for the three of us. How's it going in there?"_

"All is going well. But we have been here for two and a half hours and he has yet to slip anything into my drink. I do not think he is going to make his move tonight and I am getting very tired."

"_Agreed. Go out there and wrap this thing up. We'll meet you back at the Navy Yard_."

"Okay," she said before running her fingers through her hair and returning to where Jonathan sat.

"I have had a wonderful time tonight," she said as she sat back down next to Jonathan, "but my husband is due to call any moment now and I really should get going."

"I understand," Jonathan said with a shrug. "But are you sure you can't stay for one last mojito? I ordered another one for you," he said as he gestured to the drink on the bar.

"_Don't touch that drink, David!_" she heard Gibbs bark in her ear. She had to resist the urge to snort with laughter when she heard the demanding tone of his voice.

"Oh, I wouldn't dare touch that mojito; I have already had two and I still have to drive home." Her comment was both for Jonathan's benefit and Gibbs'.

"If you insist," Jonathan said. "It was wonderful meeting you, Gina."

"And you as well," she grinned as she stood up. "Here is my number," she added as she wrote down the number to her newly purchased cell phone on a napkin. "Call me; I would love nothing more than to see you again."

"Same to you," he responded, grinning as he watched her walk out of the bar and slip into her car.

* * *

"My, my," Ziva laughed as Tony fumbled with his keys, his arousal showing clearly. "Someone is excited, yes?"

Tony finally managed to unlock the door and he pulled Ziva into the apartment, kicking the door shut behind them. Within seconds he already had her jacket pulled off and thrown to the floor and he was making quick work of the zipper at the back of her dress.

"Just a little," he whispered playfully in her ear as he let her dress fall to the floor, exposing her simple black bra and panties. "What can I say? When I get jealous, I get horny," he laughed as he began to kiss her neck.

Once those words left his lips, Ziva pressed her palms against his chest and pushed him away.

"What do you mean you are jealous? Tony, Jonathan is nothing more than an undercover op, you know that. He is nothing but a murder and rape suspect to me."

"I know," he sighed as he ran his hands through his hair. "I just can't stand the sight of you with anyone else but me."

"And I cannot stand the sight of me with anyone else but you, as well," she smiled. "Please, Tony, do not be jealous of that man." She sighed and took a step towards him, leaning into him and whispering in his ear. "He is nothing to me and you, Anthony DiNozzo, are everything to me."

Tony felt a small droplet of water hit his shoulder and, when Ziva pulled away, he saw that a lone tear had fallen down her cheek.

"Zi," he said, concern filling his voice. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," she laughed as she wiped the tear from her cheek. "I just never thought I would find a man like you, let alone be engaged to that man. I love you, Tony," she said gently as she began to undo the buttons on his shirt, quickly pushing it from his shoulders and moving her hands to unbuckle his belt.

"Well, well," Tony laughed. "Now who's the excited one?" he said as he stepped out of his pants that Ziva had quickly pulled down.

Her response was a fierce kiss to his lips, her tongue slipping past his teeth and exploring his mouth. She slipped her hand down the front of his boxers and began to gently stroke his erection, never breaking the kiss for more than the second it took to fill her lungs with air.

"Bedroom," he groaned as he pulled her hand from his boxers and picked her up, groaning once again when she wrapped her legs around him and ground their pelvises together.

"Shower," she refuted, weaving her hands in his hair and peppering his jaw line with kisses.

"I can live with that," he chuckled as he brought the two of them to the bathroom, placing her down only to turn the water on. When he turned back around, he found Ziva leaning against the door frame, her naked body glowing under the lights.

"See something you like, DiNozzo?" she grinned.

"Nope," he shrugged as he pulled his boxers off. "I see something I _love_," he whispered in her ear as he took her hand and led her to the shower.

The two of them stepped into the shower, relaxing as the hot water hit their tired bodies.

Tony took a loofa from the shower rack and poured a generous amount of her scented body wash onto it. He worked it into a lather on her back and then, discarding the loofa, began to massage the suds with his hands.

When his hands moved to her front, Ziva let her head roll back and rest on his shoulder. He was gently massaging both of her breasts and she let out a moan that Tony knew meant she wanted more. He kept his left hand on her breast, yet let his right travel down her stomach to reach the apex of her legs. He gently dipped a finger inside of her, adding additional fingers as the moments passed.

He felt her hips began to rock and he knew her orgasm was fast approaching. Grinning devilishly, he quickly pulled his fingers from her and brought them to his lips.

"You are evil," she said as she turned around and gripped his throbbing erection. "But remember," she sighed as she placed his member at the opening to her steaming mound. "Payback is a bitch, yes?"

"Oh well," he mocked as he spun her around and placed her back against the cold tiles. "I think I can deal," he added before thrusting into her, both of them reaching their climax within moments.

"God, I love you," Tony groaned as he pulled himself away from her and let the water rinse off their bodies.

"As do I," Ziva smiled as she leaned against Tony, feeling truly at peace for the first time in weeks.

* * *

**You guys know the deal.**

**Review and, if you leave me any suggestions, I'll try my hardest to get them written into the story.**

**^_^**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm sooooooooooooo sorry for making you guys wait! This chapter sucks, but it's an update none the less.**

**Reviews!**

"_God, I love you," Tony groaned as he pulled himself away from her and let the water rinse off their bodies._

"_As do I," Ziva smiled as she leaned against Tony, feeling truly at peace for the first time in weeks._

Tony smiled as he crept into the locker rooms in the NCIS gym and saw his fiancée pulling on a snug black dress.

She was preparing to go out and meet Jonathan again and had decided to simply get ready at the navy yard. She had opted to leave her hair down, yet she had also decided to straighten it. The dress was simple, one that she wore many times, yet his mouth went dry every time he saw her in it.

"Are you simply going to stand there staring or are you going to help zip me up?"

"I'd rather unzip you," he replied as he walked over to her, "but I suppose that's gonna have to wait," he added as he gently tugged the zipper upwards, causing goose bumps to break out over Ziva's body.

"Thank you," she smiled as she spun around and wrapped her arms around Tony. "How do I look?" she whispered teasingly in his ear.

"Stunning," he managed to say as his hands roamed over her back. "A bastard like Jonathan White doesn't deserve to be graced with a presence like yours."

Ziva couldn't help but laugh. "It is only for a little while longer. If we are lucky, he will make his move tonight and we will not have to worry about him any further."

"I know, I know," he whined. "But the thought of anyone touching this body other than me drives me insane." His hands continued to wander over her body and he couldn't seem to stop them.

"He will not be doing any touching, trust me."

Just as the two of them were about to press their lips together, a booming voice came from the entry to the locker rooms.

"David! DiNozzo! Quit playing grab-ass and get up here!"

Tony groaned as he pulled himself away from Ziva. "Gibbs has the worst timing," he muttered.

A chuckle escaped from Ziva's lips. "Do not worry my little fuzzy bear. Tonight we will make up for this," she said with a wink.

And with a quick kiss on the cheek, Ziva spun around and began to walk back towards the bullpen, leaving Tony standing in the locker rooms with disappointment in his face and a bulge in his pants.

"Wow…Gina, you look stunning."

"Oh, thank you, Jonathan," Ziva smiled as she sat down across the table from him. "This restaurant is spectacular. You did not have to go to all this trouble."

"Only the best for the most beautiful woman in all of Washington D.C."

"You are too sweet," Ziva laughed as she reached across the table and gave Jonathan's hand a squeeze, making sure that her necklace gave Gibbs and McGee a clear view of the plates that sat before her.

Jonathan smiled when he caught a glimpse down Ziva's dress and he knew that tonight he would make his move. Patting his pocket, he ensured that the tiny vial that would bring even the most strong of women down was still there.

The couple spent the rest of their dinner much as they had spent their first date. They both spoke animatedly of careers and of family, something Ziva had been studying diligently since Gibbs had given her the assignment.

But Ziva suddenly began to feel light-headed feeling pass over her. Blinking her eyes, she tried to search her memory for any sign that Jonathan had put anything in her drink. Yet she couldn't. Taking a deep breath—a feat that was becoming increasingly more difficult—she managed to form a sentence using one of the code words Gibbs had given her.

"Jonathan, I am not feeling well. Would you mind terribly if I called a taxi to take me home?"

Gibbs's ears perked up when he heard her say taxi. _"He didn't slip anything in your drink. We've had three sets of eyes on our plates and glasses all night. But if you feel you need to, you call it."_

"Maybe it was the salmon," Jonathan suggested as he tried to hide his grin. "I can take you home if you'd like. I'm not sure I'd trust a cabbie to keep his hands off you."

"Oh, it is no problem. I take taxis all the time. I would not want to inconvenience you."

"I insist. How about you walk to the bathroom and splash some water on your face while I pay the bill and call the cab?"

Ziva nodded as she made her way to the bathroom, locking the door quickly behind her.

"Gibbs," she sighed. "He did not put anything in my drink or my food. Perhaps it really was the salmon," she suggested.

"_Just because we didn't see anything doesn't mean he didn't do anything."_

"Gibbs, I think I am going to take his offer. I do not want to ride in a cab and I am still strong enough to take him down if needed."

"_I'd rather DiNozzo or I picked you up…"_

"I will be fine Gibbs," she said. "The queasiness has passed and I am feeling better. I will see you tomorrow morning."

"_Be safe, David. That's an order. I'm gonna send DiNozzo and McGee home, but I'm gonna stay and keep an eye out."_

"Fine," Ziva sighed as she cupped her hands and splashed a bit of water on her face. "I will see you tomorrow."

When she emerged from the bathroom, Jonathan was waiting with her coat by the exit.

"I pulled my car around while you were in the bathroom," he said as he helped her into her coat.

"Thank you," she said as she forced herself to keep her balance. She sat in his car and stared out the window, willing the sickness to leave her body. She knew he didn't do anything, yet there was still the nagging feeling in her stomach that she was in danger. Refusing to blow the operation, Ziva closed her eyes and began a slow and steady breathing pattern, counting the seconds left until she would reach her home.

But she didn't reach her home.

Before she knew it, Jonathan was holding her door open and leading her into a sleazy looking motel.

"Jonathan, this is not my house," she protested as she pulled away from his grip. "What are you doing?"

"I'm making you realize how awful of a person you are," Jonathan growled as he unlocked the door and shoved Ziva inside.

Once Gibbs heard that, he threw his coffee cup down and grabbed his coat. He already had dialed McGee's number and was waiting for him to pick up, desperate to get a GPS fix on Ziva.

Ziva knew she should fight back, but she couldn't seem to control her body. When he took her body and threw her face down onto the mattress, she found her arms to weak to push herself up and roll over. Her legs were too much like jelly to kick and her brain was too fuzzy to even try and confuse him.

Just as Jonathan was yanking Ziva's dress off and removing his own clothes, Gibbs was driving furiously to pick up McGee and DiNozzo from the sandwich shop they had stopped at for their midnight dinner.

"Jonathan, stop," Ziva croaked as she managed to aim a swift kick to his abdomen.

"Why?" he growled as he bent over Ziva from behind, his naked body pressing violently into hers. "Regretting cheating on your husband? Regretting fucking other men while he's serving his country?" He pulled a gun from his jacket pocket and pressed it violently against her back.

With that, Jonathan thrust himself into Ziva and she let out a scream at the pain. Her mind was instantly filled with images of Somalia that she thought she had gotten rid of. His hands were woven in her hair and he was yanking on her skull with each time he thrust into her.

"You're such a tight little whore," he laughed in her ear.

Each time he spoke to her or thrust into her, Ziva screamed. Her cries were getting louder as his thrusts grew more violent, yet she couldn't control herself. Her nostrils were filled with the scent of desert sand. Her skin felt the damp air of the cell she was kept in. Her eyes could only see Saleem's face and her body only felt the pain of both Saleem and Jonathan at once.

Just as Jonathan was about to erupt in her, the door to the motel room was bashed in and Gibbs, McGee, and Tony all rushed in. Their guns were pulled and all three of them were shouting.

"Bitch!" Jonathan yelled as he took the barrel of the gun and bashed Ziva's head with it. "You're a fucking cop?!"

"Federal Agent," Ziva managed to croak out as she screamed once more when Jonathan pulled out of her roughly and brought the barrel of the gun against her head once more.

"And my fiancée," Tony screamed as he took aim and shot Jonathan in the shoulder. Rules be damned, he thought. Jonathan deserved much more than a bullet to the shoulder.

While Gibbs and McGee ran to cuff Jonathan, Tony rushed over to Ziva who lie motionless on the bed.

"Ziva? Ziva, baby," he said as he picked up her limp body. "You gotta stay awake," he said as he wrapped her naked body in the comforter.

"I cannot," she said. "My head hurts," was the last thing she said before she closed her eyes and let oblivion take over her body.

**So, I'm sure this sucks. I've got a ton of stuff going on and I just can't find the motivation to write.**

**I'm just gonna tell you now that the next update might not be for a while. I have 4 AP Exams coming up and I need to study like crazy. I've also got a ton of family struggles and stuff.**

**I might write as a break from the studying, but don't expect too much.**

**I'm sorry. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, guys! 3 AP Exams down, 1 to go!**

**So, Ziva's in the hospital and the stuff that's in italics is what's going on in her mind—her dreams, per say.**

**Let me know what you think!**

The interrogation room was silent as Tony sat across from Jonathan White, a small smirk on his face as he watched Jonathan wince in pain from his wounded shoulder.

"You're lucky," Tony finally said. "I was contemplating shooting you in the face."

"Hmm, guess I am lucky," White shrugged. "But I think you're luckier than I am."

"Any why is that?" Tony spat.

"Because," White replied as he leaned over the table towards Tony. "That fiancée of yours is one tight little slut."

At those words, Tony shot from his chair and was behind White in seconds. He wrapped his arm violently around his neck, effectively constricting his airway.

"Her name is Ziva David," he growled into White's ear. "And thanks to you, she's lying in a hospital bed at Bethesda Naval Hospital. And once she gets out of that bed, you had better watch your sorry ass. She's a trained killer and I'm sure that, when she testifies against you, the judge will look the other way when she rips your filthy balls off."

Releasing his grip on White's neck, Tony stormed out of the interrogation room, leaving Gibbs to deal with White.

"Hey, Ziva," Tony whispered as he gently pushed the door to her hospital room open.

He cringed when he saw her motionless form on the bed. The nurses had gotten her into hospital gown and her hair had gone back to its natural curly texture. An IV was attached her to hand which brought Tony's attention to her pale complexity, her natural olive skin tone completely absent.

"I left Gibbs to deal with White," Tony said as he pulled a chair up to Ziva's bedside and took her hand in his. "I didn't trust myself not to shoot him," he managed to laugh. "But I did tell him that when you wake up he better watch his sorry ass…You are gonna wake up, aren't you?" he asked as his eyes traveled across the machines that surrounded her bed.

"It's entirely up to her," came a voice from the doorway.

"Huh?"

"I'm Rebecca, Ms. David's nurse," the woman said as she held her hand out to Tony.

"Oh, hey," Tony said as her stood up and shook her hand. "I'm Tony DiNozzo, her fiancée."

"Nice to meet you," Rebecca smiled as she began to check the machines that surrounded Ziva.

"What did you mean when you said it's entirely up to her if she wakes up?"

"We've done all we can do," she sighed. "Given her an IV to flush the drugs from her system, done scans of her brain to check for damage, and have done full blood tests. Now it's all up to her to wake up."

"Why wouldn't she wake up?" Tony asked as he sat back down and took Ziva's hand in his once again.

"Often times people use this as a defense mechanism. When a person has gone through everything Ms. David has been through, they sometimes find that being in an unconscious state is easier than waking up and dealing with what happened."

"Even if they have a fiancée waiting for them?" Tony said under his breath as he struggled to keep himself composed.

"Even then," the nurse smiled before giving Tony's shoulder a squeeze and exiting the room quietly.

Tony sighed and ran his free hand through his hair, hating the silence that filled the room.

"Looks like it's just you and me again, sweet cheeks," he said as he looked down on her unmoving body. "I shouldn't have left," he finally said. "Gibbs told Probie and I to leave but I told him I wasn't gonna. I told him you were more than my partner and that I wasn't gonna let some sick murderer put his hands on you. But like always, Gibbs won. He made us leave and now here you are in a hospital, choosing not to wake up. Dammit!" Tony had to clench his free hand to stop himself from yelling at the top of his lungs or punching something. "I should've had your six. _He_ should've had your six!"

"I did."

At the sound of his boss's voice, Tony's head spun around to see the silver haired man standing in the doorway.

"I did have her six," Gibbs said as he took a few steps into the room to look at Ziva.

"Then why is she lying on a bed unconscious?" Tony demanded, letting go of Ziva's hand and standing up to face Gibbs.

"Because she didn't wanna call it," Gibbs barked. "I told her to wait in the bathroom and I would be there in two minutes. But she refused; said she felt fine and didn't want blow the operation. This was her choice, DiNozzo!"

Tony clenched his jaw, knowing that what Gibbs was telling was the truth. He knew that Gibbs had nothing to do with what White did, but he needed to take his anger out on someone.

"Hey," Gibbs said as he gave Tony's head a slight tap. "Snap out of it."

"Yeah, sorry," Tony said as he shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He sat back down in the chair next to Ziva's bed, exhaling deeply.

"Can she hear us?" Tony asked, his temper cooler than the moments before.

"Some doctors say yes, some say no," the elder agent said as he pulled a chair up next to Tony.

"Could you?"

"Huh?" Gibbs asked, unsure as to what Tony meant.

"Could you hear when you were unconscious? The doctors say that the only reason she isn't waking up is that she doesn't wanna…Isn't that what happened with you?"

Gibbs sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Ziva and I are different," he said simply. "What happened to her and what happened to me can't be compared, DiNozzo. Can't say much more," he added with a shrug.

The two men sat there in silence, watching their team member take shallow but steady breaths.

"We should head back to the Yard," Gibbs said. "We've got reports to file and I've got a meeting with Vance."

"You go," Tony replied. "I wanna be here if she wakes up."

"Tony," Gibbs said. It was strange to hear Gibbs call him by his first name, yet Tony couldn't help it when a smile came to his face. "We need to get back to the Yard. If she even begins to wake up, the doctors will let us know."

Knowing he couldn't win the argument, Tony reluctantly let go of Ziva's hand and stood up.

"Bye, Zi," he whispered in her ear as he bent down to kiss her cheek. "I love you," he added as he pulled her covers tighter around her lithe form.

"_Ziva!"_

_A voice rang in Ziva's ears and she spun around to find the source of the young voice._

"_Ziva! Over here!"_

_She turned towards the direction of the voice and her knees almost gave out beneath her._

"_Tali?" she asked as she attempted to keep the tears from her eyes._

_The young girl nodded her head, running towards Ziva and throwing her arms around her._

_Ziva fought to keep her tears at bay as she held Tali close to her and stroked her sister's hair. Reluctantly, she let Tali go and took her hand in her own, walking them down the sidewalk they had played so much on as children._

"_Tali," Ziva asked gingerly. "Have I died?"_

_Tali stopped dead in her tracks and turned to face Ziva. "No," she said softly. "I died, but you're still alive, she added._

"_But…" Ziva stammered, unsure as to what was going on. She never had a dream this vivid before and the fact that her last memory was of being bashed in the head brought her mind to the idea that she might in fact be dead._

"_Ever hear of a dream, Zivaleh?"_

_Looking up, Ziva let Tali's hand fall from her own and she ran to the woman standing before her. _

"_Ima," she whispered as she buried her face into the hair of her mother. _

"_Hello, my daughter," the woman said as she held Ziva close to her, smiling when she felt Tali join their hug._

_Pulling away from her mother and sister, Ziva wiped furiously at the tears that had formed in her eyes. _

"_You do not need to be ashamed of your tears, Zivaleh," her mother said as she wrapped her arms around Ziva and began to walk her towards a gazebo in a park. Tali followed behind them, giving them the space she knew they needed._

"_I have missed you so much, Ima," Ziva said as she sat on a bench and rested her head on her mother's shoulder. "You and Tali both."_

"_And we have missed you," she replied. "But you cannot stay with us forever. You must wake up and return to Anthony," she smiled._

_At the mention of Tony's name, Ziva's heart skipped a beat._

"_But, Ima…" Ziva gently said. "Why would I wake up if I know that I will not see you two again? I love you," she whispered. _

"_You will see us again. You will see us again when you have grown old and have created many children with Anthony," her mother laughed. _

_Ziva couldn't help but laugh, either, when her mother mentioned her having children with Tony. _

"_I do not think Tony is keen on having children," she laughed._

"_You'd be surprised."_

_Ziva inhaled deeply, trying to memorize her mother's scent, terrified that she would disappear at any moment._

"_I am not going to leave you, Zivaleh," her mother smiled. "The doctors are correct when they say it is entirely up to you. When you decide to wake up, then we will worry about our goodbyes."_

"_I hate goodbyes," Ziva muttered. _

"_Ziva! Ima!" Tali's voice came from behind the gazebo. "Look who came to visit!"_

_Following behind Tali was a tall man whose hand was being tugged by the youngest David child._

"_Ari?"_

**Cliché, yes, but I couldn't help it. **

**I've only got one more AP Exam, so I promise that updates will be more frequent!**

**But only if you leave reviews!**

**3**


	5. Chapter 5

**Yay! I'm done with my AP Exams!**

**This is kind of a short chapter, but I like it. I've got the next one planned in my head and, since I'm now free of all AP crap, I should get it all written up tonight. And I've got an AP Biology trip to Chicago tomorrow, so that's a grand total of 8 hours on a bus that I can write. WooHooo**

**Hope you enjoy this!**

* * *

"Are you in pain?" Abby asked, worry clear in her voice. She noticed the way Ziva's eyelids were flutters and she could only imagine the pain her friend might be in. "It looks like you're in pain. Maybe I should go get the nurse. It really does look--"

Abby flinched when she felt a hand on her shoulder, yet relaxed when she heart the familiar Scottish accent.

"Like she is dreaming," Ducky said gently.

Abby stood up and wrapped her arms around Ducky, finding comfort in his arms.

"Why is this happening?" Abby asked when she finally pulled away from Ducky. "First Kate, then Jenny, and now Ziva…" she trailed off, her voice threatening to crack.

"We are not going to lose Ziva," Ducky offered.

"But we have! First when Vance sent her back to Israel, then when she chose to stay there. We lost her when the Damocles went down and then we lost her to the cutting. Now we're losing her all over again and I can't take it!"

Abby had started to pace across the tiny hospital room, her hands flailing as she spoke.

"Abigail," Ducky said as he moved to stand in front of Abby, blocking her path and causing her to stop abruptly. "Yes, we have lost her many times before, yet we have found her each time, have we not?"

"But what if…" Abby trailed off as she looked down at Ziva's unconscious form. "What is she doesn't wanna wake up? The doctors say the only reason she's asleep is that she doesn't wanna wake up…"

Ducky sighed, unsure as to how to respond to Abby's nerves.

"She will wake up," he finally said.

"How do you know?" Abby whispered.

Ducky smiled. "Call it my Gibbs Gut."

Abby couldn't help it when a laugh escaped her lips. Sitting back down in the chair, she smiled when Ducky himself pulled a chair up to Ziva's bedside.

"I hope it's a good dream…"

* * *

"_Ari?" she asked, taking a step closer to the brother she had shot just a few years earlier. _

"_Yes," he smiled as he felt Ziva's hand touch his cheek. Ari was a far different person when he around his family rather than Mossad._

_Ziva flung her arms around her brother, unable to stop the emotions that flooded over her. _

"_Ari," she whispered in his ear, "I am so sorry."_

"_Apologies are a sign of weakness," Ari whispered back._

_A laugh escaped Ziva's lips when she heard one of Gibbs's rules come from her brother's mouth. _

"_But I killed you," she whispered. "I shot you…"_

"_You did not kill me," Ari said as he took Ziva by the shoulders. "Eli killed me, Mossad killed me. But you, Zivaleh," he said, "You did not kill me."_

_Hearing those words, tears escaped Ziva's eyes. _

"_Can you forgive me, Ari?" she asked, wiping the tears from her eyes._

"_There is nothing to forgive."_

"_Ari," she replied sternly. "Please forgive me?"_

"_I forgive you," Ari smiled as he once again wrapped his arms around his little sister._

_Suddenly, Ziva heard a shot ring out. Letting go of Ari, she spun around to see her mother lying in an expanding pool of blood. _

"_Ima!" she cried as she knelt down to her mother. Another shot rang out and Tali suddenly fell to the floor next to Ziva and her mother. _

_Ziva bent over her sister, desperately trying to save her and her mother, even though she knew it was nothing but a dream._

_Suddenly she felt strong hands take her by the shoulders and lift her to her feet. _

"_This is just a dream, Ziva," Ari said as he turned her away from their bodies and hugged her once again. _

_Before Ziva could respond, Ari's body went limp in her arms. Her eyes widened when she saw the man who had just shot her family. _

"_Saleem," she whispered as she laid Ari down on the ground._

"_I am sorry," Saleem mocked as he began to circle Ziva like a bird of prey. "Did you want to kill him this time, too?"_

_Ziva clenched her jaw, spinning around to keep her eyes locked on his as he circled her. _

"_You are looking better, Officer David."_

"_It is Agent David," she spat. _

"_Alright, Agent David," Saleem mocked. "You have gotten a bit of meat back one your bones," he noted._

_Looking down, Ziva saw that she was no longer wearing the jeans and t-shirt she had been wearing only moments before. Now she was wearing the thin hospital gown that her physical self also wore._

"_That is what happens when you are not held captive in a terrorist camp," she snapped. _

_Saleem simply shook his head, ignoring the comments she made._

"_You may have gained your muscles back, but you will never be able to rid yourself of my scars," he smiled._

_Ziva flinched when she felt his fingers brush the countless scars that covered her back. She spun around, preparing to grab his arm, yet he pulled away too fast._

"_Ah, ah, ah," he mocked. "It seems as though you have scars of your own doing, as well," he pointed out and he gestured to her arms and the scar running down her bare leg._

_She said nothing. She simply stared at him as he eyes her up and down. _

"_I am surprised Anthony still loves you. I would have thought that he would run from such a scarred woman."_

_At the mention of Tony's name, Ziva clenched her fists even harder, her nails biting into the flesh of her palms. _

"_Tony has seen my scars," she said through clenched teeth._

_Which is why I am surprised he still wished to marry you."_

"_He loves me," Ziva said. She directed it at Saleem, yet she said it mainly to convince herself of it. She had never thought that perhaps Tony did find her scars repulsive._

"_I am sure he does," Saleem laughed._

"_Tony loves me despite my scars," Ziva said, this time only trying to convince herself that Tony's love was the unconditional type she had always thought it was._

"_Do not kid yourself," he replied. "Your scars are something no man could love…Unless of course," he grinned, "that man is the one who gave them to you."_

_As he said those words, he grabbed a fist full of her hair and yanked her closer to him. Using his free hand, he violently grabbed her breast and dug his nails into it through the flimsy material of the hospital gown. _

_The moment she felt his hands violently grab her breast, reality crashed down upon her and her eyes flew open._

* * *

**Just a few quick questions!**

**1) Has Ziva's birthday ever been mentioned in the show? I'm thinking I might use it, but I'm not sure if it's ever been mentioned…**

**2) Should I have a chapter, or half a chapter, about the trial convicting Jonathan White? Like how Ziva deals with that and stuff.**

**3) What do you wanna see happen in the next few chapters?**

**Reviews are lovely!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you guys so much for all your awesome reviews! You honestly have no idea how wonderful it feels to open my e-mail and have it full of reviews from you guys.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter. It's a bit of a filler, but I like it. ^_^**

* * *

…_Reality crashed down on Ziva and her eyes flew open._

* * *

The moment her eyes opened, Ziva struggled to sit up in her bed, the monitors surrounding her beeping wildly.

"Ziva!" Abby cried as she saw her friend struggling to sit up. "You shouldn't try to sit up," she said as she gently pushed Ziva back onto the bed.

"I will get the doctor," Ducky said as he stood up and scurried from the room.

"Water," Ziva croaked as she reluctantly laid her head back down on the pillow.

"Uhh…" Abby trailed off as she scanned the room to find something for Ziva to drink from. "Ah-ha!" she smiled as she jumped up and grabbed a tiny cup from beside the sink, filling it with water from the faucet.

"Here," she said as she held it up to Ziva's chapped lips.

"Toda," Ziva whispered her voice still hoarse from its lack of use. Monitors continued to beep around the room, begging for a nurse to shut them off.

Within just a few more moments, a nurse walked into the room with Ducky right behind her. He was hastily finishing a phone call and deftly slipped his phone back into the pocket of his large coat.

"Welcome back, Miss David," the nurse said as she began to stop the beeping machines.

"How long have I been gone?" Ziva inquired as her eyes darted around the room to look at Abby, Ducky, and the nurse who was checking every machine that Ziva was hooked up to.

"About three days."

"3 days?" Ziva nearly cried as she tried to push her weakened body up.

"Miss Daivd, you need to calm down," the nurse said gently. "Your blood pressure needs to remain low so that your injuries can heal properly."

"Injuries?"

"You've got quite a nasty bump on your head," the nurse responded. "It didn't need stitches and your scans came back normal, but we won't know the long term effects for another few days."

Ziva sighed as she closed her eyes and let the nurse continue to check her vitals and each machine that she was hooked up to.

"Ziva? Ziva?"

Abby's voice filled Ziva's ears and she snapped back from her trance.

"Yes, Abby?" she asked as she reached out to take the cup of water Abby held out to her.

"I said that Ducky just called Tony. He's on his way."

At the mention of his name, Ziva's heart began to race. She was thankful that the nurse had turned the sound to the heart monitor off or else the room would once again be filled with the rapid beeping of the machine.

"He is coming…Now?"

"Yep!" Abby smiled. "Gibbs let him go because we're working on the most boring case ever."

A smile formed on Ziva's face as she heard her friend's familiar ranting.

"Abby," Ziva said, effectively cutting Abby's ranting off. "My purse is not with me at the moment, but could you maybe go down to the hospital gift shop and get me a sweatshirt? Or perhaps a pair of pajamas?"

"Aww," Abby smiled. "You look fine, Ziva. We all get that hospital gowns aren't the most flattering things, but I'm sure Tony won't mind. I'm sure he'll just be glad you're awake."

"Please," Ziva almost pleaded. Her dream had awakened a fear in her that Tony would finally see just how grotesque her scars were and realize just how monstrous her body was.

Abby looked questioningly at her friend, yet squeezed her hand as she stood up.

"I'll be back before you can say Caf-Pow."

* * *

Abby had just managed to help Ziva get into her newly purchased sweatshirt when they heard Tony's voice coming from the hallway. Getting into the sweatshirt was troublesome for Ziva and Abby because of Ziva's weakened physical state, not to mention they had to avoid all the machines that were hooked up to Ziva.

"Ziva," he breathed as he jogged into her room.

Ziva's eyes flew open when she heard his voice in her room and she made direct eye contact with him.

"Tony," she whispered as she straightened up in the bed that she and Abby had raised into a more upright position.

He was at her side in moments, his arms wrapped tightly around her body.

"Oh, Ziva," he whispered as he stroked her hair. "I am so sorry this happened."

She wrapped her arms around Tony as best as she could with the IV in her arm, inhaling his scent deeply.

Abby smiled as she quietly left the room, leaving the two lovers to spend their time alone.

"I love you so, so much," Tony said as he pulled away from Ziva and took her face in his hand. "Never scare me like this again, got it?" he asked as he gently stroked her cheek.

"I got it," she smiled as she reached up and placed a tender kiss on his cheek.

She scooted over in the bed and took Tony's hand, tugging on it gently. Laughing, he laid down on the bed next to her and wrapped his arm around her.

She snuggled into his embrace, inhaling his scent once again. She pulled herself as close to him as possible as though his presence could keep her demons at bay.

"Where'd you get the sweatshirt?" Tony asked as he rubbed her arm.

"I asked Abby to purchase it for me before you got here."

"You didn't have to ask her for one. We've got a ton at home and I could've brought one for you if I had known you were cold."

"I was not cold," Ziva said softly.

"Whaddya mean you weren't cold?" Tony laughed. "Why would you ask Abby to get you a brand new sweatshirt if you weren't cold?

Ziva's heart skipped a beat. She had no idea how to respond to Tony's inquiries. How could she tell him that she had asked for a sweatshirt so that he would not have to see the scars she had so recently come to loathe?

"Did the nurse say when I can go home?" Ziva asked, trying desperately to change the subject.

"They want you to stay here for a few more hours to get some other tests done, but they say you should be good to go in time for dinner," Tony replied. He noticed the way she had changed the subject, yet he let it drop.

"I am glad," she sighed as she turned her head up to place gentle kisses along his neck, hoping to further distract him from her change of subject. "I want to go home and take a long, hot shower."

"It's good to have you back, Ziva," Tony sighed as he held Ziva tightly.

* * *

The two had finally been able to leave the hospital at around 7 that night and Ziva had been antsy the entire ride back to their apartment.

"Home, sweet home," Tony smiled as he opened the door to their apartment and led Ziva to the couch. "It's been lonely without you," he said as he helped lead her to the couch.

"I am sorry," she said as she closed her eyes and inhaled the familiar scent of the apartment she had missed.

"Hey," he said as he kissed her cheek. "There's nothing to be sorry for. You're home and that's all that matters, sweet cheeks."

Smiling at her nickname, Ziva opened her eyes to find Tony heading to the kitchen.

"What are you planning on cooking?" she laughed, her voice still slightly hoard from its lack of use.

"The famous DiNozzo macaroni and cheese, of course!" Tony joked from the kitchen.

She smiled as she brought herself into a standing position, using the couch to steady her. Taking small and steady steps, she slowly made her way to the kitchen to stand behind her fiancée.

"I think I am going to take that shower while you cook dinner," she said softly.

Hearing her voice, Tony spun around to face Ziva.

"Without me?" he joked as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Yes, without you," she laughed back. Her laughter was forced, and Tony could tell.

"Okay…" Tony sighed as she turned around and walked towards the bathroom.

She emerged from the bathroom a half an hour later, her damp hair hanging down to her shoulders. She had pulled on a pair of Tony's sweatpants and one of his old Ohio State sweatshirts, her tiny frame swallowed by his massive clothing.

"Cold?" Tony smiled as she sat down on the couch, pulling her knees up to her chest.

"A little," she replied as she took the bowl of macaroni that Tony offered her. "But I am sure your famous macaroni and cheese will warm me up, yes?"

"I hope so."

Ziva began to slowly eat the food Tony had prepared for them, her stomach churning with every bite. She wasn't sure why, yet her body didn't seem to want her to eat.

"You feeling okay?" Tony asked when he saw her blank stare and the slow was she was eating. It was a stupid question, yet he didn't know what else he could possibly say to her. He knew she was in pain—both physical and emotional—yet he had no idea how to make it better.

"I am fine," she replied as she set the bowl of macaroni down on the table in front of the couch. "My stomach is simply not used to food at the moment," she laughed.

"How about you go get into bed and I'll put this in the fridge, then?"

"Would you mind? I am simply not up to eating right now, I am sorry."

"Hey," Tony said as he took her hand in his. "You've got nothing to be sorry for."

Ziva smiled at Tony, grateful for his patience with her. She stood up slowly, her legs still feeling weak. "I will see you in a few minutes," she said as she kissed his cheek and began to walk to their bedroom.

Tony placed the leftover food into a plastic container and then made his way to their bedroom, anxious to have Ziva in his arms once again. He opened the door gently, grinning when he saw Ziva curled under a pile of comforters and blankets.

"Hey, Zi," he whispered as he pulled his clothing off and a pair of flannel pajama pants on.

"Hey," she replied as she scooted over so he had room on the bed.

He quickly pulled the covers up and got under them, noting how heavy they felt.

"Come 'ere."

She rolled over onto her other side and allowed Tony to pull her into his embrace, snuggling her face into his neck.

"I called Gibbs while you were in the shower and he's gonna let me take tomorrow off to stay with you," he said as he stroked her hair.

"Thank you," she smiled as she propped herself up on her elbow. "You did not have to do that, so thank you," she said again.

"Anything for my sweet cheeks," he replied.

Ziva leaned down and placed a tender kiss on his lips, slowly parting his lips with her tongue. Saleem's words were ringing in her head as she felt Tony return her kiss with equal passion. Thoughts of how Tony would want to marry a woman with such hideous scars were running in her head and she felt that if she made it up to him with sex, he would be able to look past her scars. She didn't want to, yet she couldn't get Saleem's mocking out of her mind.

Tony was shocked when he felt the kiss they were sharing grow more passionate, yet Ziva refused to pull away. Despite that fact that she just woke up from three days on unconsciousness and that she had been raped while undercover, Tony felt her hands trace up and down his chest.

Just as he went to move his hands under her thick sweatshirt, Ziva broke the kiss and rapidly pulled away.

"Ziva?" he asked, concern filling his voice when he saw how pale her face was.

"I think I am going to be sick," she said as she pulled the covers off of her and quickly made her way to their bathroom.

* * *

**Definitely a filler chapter, but I'm thinking the next few chapters will be a bit more heavy, ya know?**

**So, yeah. I've got the next chapter planned in my head, I just gotta put fingers to keys and get it typed up for you guys.**

**Reviews are lovely!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Nothing much to say. Hope you enjoy!**

_Just as he went to move his hands under her thick sweatshirt, Ziva broke the kiss and rapidly pulled away. _

"_Ziva?" he asked, concern filling his voice when he saw how pale her face was. _

"_I think I am going to be sick," she said as she pulled the covers off of her and quickly made her way to their bathroom._

* * *

Tony gently pushed the door to the bathroom open, the sounds of Ziva's dry heaving filling his ears. She was kneeling in front of the toilet, her body shaking as she was filled with nausea.

He knelt down next to her, taking her hair in his hand and pulling it back into a ponytail with a hair tie he had found on the counter. He laid his hand on her back, rubbing gentle circles to ease her shaking body. The two of them sat in this position for countless minutes, Ziva's dry heaves becoming less frequent as the minutes ticked by.

"Thank you," she said hoarsely as she sat up and pulled her head away from the toilet.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" Tony asked as he guided her body to lean up against the wall. "You're sweating like crazy. Maybe we should take you back to the hospital and have them check you out again. Or at least call Ducky," he suggested.

"I am just feeling a bit weak," Ziva responded. "My body is not used to eating or doing anything other than lying in a hospital bed."

Tony eyed her up and down, clearly not believing her. She was sweating underneath the layers of sweats she was wearing and her face was deathly pale.

"You look more than just a bit weak," Tony said as he moved to sit against the wall next to Ziva. "You're covered in sweat, Zi," he stated again. "Maybe you've got a fever."

"No," Ziva sighed. "I do not have a fever," she insisted.

"Well then," Tony sighed. "Let's get you out of these sweats and into something a bit less heavy."

Ziva's heart began to race as Tony mentioned the idea of her taking her massive pajamas off. The sweatpants and shirt were the only things keeping Tony from seeing her scars and she was desperate to keep them covered. Desperate to keep Saleem's predictions from coming true.

"I would rather keep them on," she muttered as she pushed herself into a standing position, making her way to the sink and reaching for her toothbrush.

"And why is that?" Tony said, his voice a mixture of concern and sarcasm.

"Because," Ziva replied as she squeezed toothpaste onto her toothbrush and began to brush the scent of vomit from her mouth.

"Not good enough," Tony said as he moved behind Ziva and resumed his actions of rubbing gentle circles on her back, trying to soothe the obvious tension from her. "Please tell me what's wrong, Ziva," he pleaded as he made eye contact with Ziva in the mirror.

"You want to know what is wrong?" Ziva asked as she spit out the toothpaste into the sink.

"Yes, I would," Tony sighed as his eyes pleaded with hers in the mirror. "It's killing me to see you like this."

"I just tried to make love to my fiancée," Ziva said as she spun around to make direct eye contact with Tony. "I just tried to have sex with the man I love more than anything but I ended up sitting in front of the toilet vomiting!"

Her voice was threatening to crack the entire time she spoke.

"What happened?" Tony asked simply.

"What do you mean?"

"Ziva, you were raped while undercover. After that you were lying in a hospital bed unconscious for three days. And suddenly when you get home you try to have sex. Don't get me wrong, I love sex with you, but…" he trailed off, unsure as to how to continue. "Something must have happened that you're not telling me."

Ziva's breath became caught in her throat, fear rising up from her stomach. She looked up a Tony and saw the pleading look in his eyes. His concern for her was clear on his face and Ziva felt it tug at her heartstrings.

"I had a dream," she said softly as she averted her eyes to look at the tiled floor.

Tony heard the sorrow in her voice and knew automatically that her dream was more of a nightmare.

"Let's go and talk," he said gently as he took her hand in his and led her back to their bed. She followed him quietly, her heart racing as she realized what she was about to tell him. They soon reached their bedroom and Tony lay down with her on top of the covers.

"It started as a pleasant dream," she said softly as she lay on her back, her head resting on his chest. "I saw my mother and Tali. We spoke about you and how happy the two of them were to see us together. Then Tali came running back with Ari. I saw Ari," Ziva whispered as she pulled herself closer to Tony.

Tony began to stroke Ziva's hair, knowing how calming of an effect it had on her.

"He told me that I had nothing to be ashamed of and that I was not the one who killed him; he said it was Eli who killed him. He was the wonderful older brother he was when we were little."

"And when did it turn into a nightmare?" Tony asked, knowing that it soon would.

"He came back," Ziva managed to say, a lone tear falling from her eye. "Saleem came back and shot each member of my family."

"Oh, Zi," Tony breathed as he felt her clutch to his body.

"And then he…" she trailed off, unsure as to how her fears would sound to Tony's ears.

"You can tell me."

"He told me that he was surprised you wanted to marry me. He said that I would never be able to escape him and that my scars would forever mar my body. Each one of my scars was pointed out and he told me that no man would be able to love a monster like me."

"Is that why you wanted to have sex?"

"Yes," she admitted. "I am covered in scars and Saleem was right. No man could love a body like mine that is covered in scars. So I thought that if I had sex with you more often than you would be able to look past them…"

"Come here," Tony said as he rose from the bed and took Ziva's hand. She hesitated, but then got up from the bed and followed behind him, nervous as to where he was leading her.

He took her only a few feet, stopping when they reached the full length mirror on the wall opposite the bed.

Tony let go of Ziva's hand and moved to stand behind her. He moved his hands to her front and pulled the zipper to her sweatshirt down, gently pulling it off to reveal a small black tank top. Ziva shuddered when the cold air hit her body, yet Tony wasted no time as he tugged at her tank top. She tried to resist, yet he was persistent and soon she gave up, allowing him to remove her shirt, leaving her entire torso bare.

He then hooked his fingers under the waistband of her sweatpants and underwear, pulling both of them down in one motion. He made her step out of them, leaving her body naked in the dim light of their bedroom. Her eyes were downcast, avoiding her reflection in the mirror.

"Look at yourself," Tony said.

She slowly raised her eyes, stopping when she met his gaze in the mirror.

"You're beautiful," he whispered. She shook her head, her gaze once again falling to the floor. "Hey," he said as she moved his hand to lift her chin up. "Listen to me."

She nodded as she looked in the mirror, noting the scars that covered her naked body.

"So beautiful," he murmured as he placed a kiss to her neck. "Starting with your hair," he said as he ran his hands through it, pulling it to one side of her neck. "I love it when you straighten it, but you drive me crazy when you leave it curly and wild like it is now. Never, ever, ever cut your hair. And then we move to your eyes," he continued, never breaking eye contact with her in the mirror. "The most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen. A beautiful brown that I swear I could stare into all day. They were what I first noticed about you."

"Tony, you do not have to--"

"Yes, I do," Tony interrupted, knowing full well that Ziva was going to try to stop him. "I love your lips, too. They're so soft and beautiful and the way they get all swollen when we kiss is the most spectacular sight ever."

His hands slowly began to move down, skimming across her breasts. "I think you know how I feel about these," he smiled as he cupped them gently. "It takes all my willpower to not stare at them all day." He slid his hands down to her stomach, running them over her flat abs.

"The scars," she said as she moved her eyes to look at the patch of pink scars on her stomach.

"Are fading," he added as he ran his hands over them. "And I hardly notice them when I'm staring at your rock hard abs. And finally," he said as he moved his hands back to lift her chin to meet his gaze once again. "Are your legs. They go on for miles and turn me on more than a pair of legs should," he laughed.

Ziva felt her cheeks blush as he stood there, pointing out each one of her features. But then he spun her around. He spun her around so that he back was facing the mirror.

"Look at them," he whispered in her ear as he ran his hands lightly over the scars that covered her back.

Ziva turned her head to look in the mirror behind her, managing to catch a glimpse of the scars that were covering her entire back.

"They are hideous," she said as she let a few tear drops fall from her eyes. "What on earth could anyone see in them other than disgust?" she muttered aloud.

"Wanna know what I see?" he asked.

She shrugged her shoulders, knowing that Tony was going to tell her what he thought regardless.

"I see the strongest woman in the world. A woman who was tormented for months and had more pain inflicted on her than a person should have, but a woman who survived. A woman who walked away from 3 months of hell with nothing more than a few scars. That's what I see."

Ziva turned her head so that she no longer was facing her back in the mirror. She was now face to face with Tony, their faces mere millimeters apart. Her eyes were misty, a few tear tracks on her cheeks. Tony used the pads of his thumbs to wipe the tears from her cheeks, never breaking eye contact with her.

"You are the most beautiful, strong, and wonderful woman I've ever met. Don't you ever, ever forget that. No matter how many nightmares you have," Tony said in her ear as he wrapped his arms around her naked frame.

Ziva nodded her head into Tony's shoulder, sniffling lightly.

"I love you, Ziva David-DiNozzo," he sighed as he felt her body begin to relax into his embrace.

* * *

**Kind of a long chapter without many breaks or whatever, but I rather like this one. **

**Lemme know what you think and what you wanna see!**

**Coming up next! Will Ziva have to testify against White? Will she resort back to cutting? Review to find out!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey, guys! Once again, not much of an author's note.**

**I just got Senior Release, so I'm gonna have some free time to write. Yay for being done with high school!**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter and leave reviews! **

* * *

"_You are the most beautiful, strong, and wonderful woman I've ever met. Don't you ever, ever forget that. No matter how many nightmares you have," Tony said in her ear as he wrapped his arms around her naked frame. _

_Ziva nodded her head into Tony's shoulder, sniffling lightly. _

"_I love you, Ziva David-DiNozzo," he sighed as he felt her body begin to relax into his embrace. _

* * *

The buzzing of a phone roused Ziva from her slumber. She smiled when she felt Tony's hand cupping her breast lightly. She wasn't sure if it was a conscious or subconscious action, yet she delighted in the feeling of his soft hand enveloping her breast.

"Hello?" she said softly into the phone, trying her best not to wake Tony.

"Hello, may I speak with Ziva David?" the voice on the phone said. The voice was female, yet Ziva couldn't recognize it.

"This is she."

"Hello, Ms. David. My name is Angela Ryan and I'm the ADA who is trying the case against Jonathan White."

At the mention of that man's name, Ziva's entire body tensed.

"I am assuming you are calling because you wish to discuss my testimony?"

"That's right," the ADA said, her voice a bit too cheery for Ziva's liking. "The trial has been moved to tomorrow because of a clearance in the judge's schedule, so we're going to have to review it today."

"Okay," Ziva said stoically, her emotions held tightly in. "Let me get out of bed so I do not wake my fiancée and we can talk."

"Actually," the woman said, "I was hoping we could meet in person."

"Oh…" Ziva trailed off.

"I'm free today at 2:00. Would that work for you?"

"I suppose so," Ziva said.

"Great, I will see you then!" the voice said before abruptly hanging up the phone.

Just as Ziva hung up her phone, she felt the bed shift slightly.

"Who was that?" Tony asked, sleep still coating his vocal chords.

"The assistant district attorney who is trying the case against White," Ziva said as she rolled over and snuggled her head into Tony's neck. "She is coming over to discuss my testimony later today, seeing as how the trial has been moved to tomorrow."

"Oh, sweet cheeks," Tony sighed as he wrapped his arm around his fiancée. "She's got shitty timing, huh?"

"Yes, but the earlier the trial, the sooner I can move on from this," Ziva replied, smiling as she felt Tony pull her closer.

"Her timing is still crappy, though," Tony laughed gently.

After a few more moments of silence, the two of them holding each other close, Tony finally opened his mouth.

"Do you want me to be there?"

Ziva's eyebrows furrowed as she looked up to Tony from her resting spot on his chest.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you want me to stay while you talk to the ADA? I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything."

"Tony," Ziva said, her eyes still locked on his. "You were there. You walked in whilst he was…" she trailed off, a lump forming in her throat. "You saw what happened."

"And that was the worst thing I'll ever see," Tony said as she stroked her hair.

"It is up to you more than it is up to me," Ziva finally said as she once again rested her head against his chest. "If you wish to stay and listen, I would enjoy the support. But I do not wish to anger or upset you with the details."

"You're right," Tony smiled. "I think if I stayed and listened to what the jack ass did, I might run out and kill him."

Ziva laughed gently at the image that formed in her head. "But…" she said.

"But what?"

"I think I would like you to be at the trial. Yes, White will be there, but I get the feeling I will need your support."

Ziva felt awkward as she asked Tony for his support. She wasn't used to asking people for their help and certainly wasn't used to admitting that she might need someone else to help keep her strong.

"I'll be right there with you," Tony said as she leaned down and placed a kiss to the crown of her head.

"Thank you," she smiled as she closed her eyes once again, her body relaxing entirely into the embrace of her fiancée.

* * *

The next time the sun rose in the sky, it was not the light that woke Tony from his slumber. Rather, it was the sound of the shower running and his fiancée's soft voice wafting from the shower.

_Take a look at my body;_

_Look at my hands._

_There's so much here that I don't understand…_

Tony sighed as he made his way to their bathroom, steam assaulting him as he stepped into it. He quickly stepped out of his boxers and quietly pulled the door to the shower open.

"Hey," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around Ziva's middle.

"Hi," she said, her voice wavering. Tony was unable to see the tears that feel from her eyes and mixed with the water falling from the showerhead. "I did not mean to wake you."

"The alarm was about to go off in 20 minutes, anyways," he replied.

"I am scared," Ziva said softly, her voice almost inaudible over the water pouring from the shower.

"He can't hurt you," Tony attempted to soothe. "He'll be in chains and guards are gonna be there and-"

"That is not what I am afraid of."

"Then what are you scared of?" he asked gently as he poured some of Ziva's pomegranate shampoo onto his hands.

"I do not want…" Ziva sighed as she felt Tony's gentle hands massage her scalp. "I do not want to relive it. When I give this testimony, I will be forced to relive both what White did and what Saleem did."

Tony continued to rub the scented suds into Ziva's hair, unsure as to what to say.

"I am going to lose control again," she said as Tony spun her around to let the water rinse the suds from her curls.

"But I'll be right there with you" he said.

Ziva could find no words to reply to Tony's attempts at comfort.

After Tony had run conditioner through Ziva's hair and had washed his own, the two of them emerged from the bathroom with towels wrapped around their body.

Ziva rummaged through their closet, attempting to find clothing that would be appropriate for court. She decided to wear the same outfit she had word when she was granted citizenship. It was a well fitting cream colored suit that allowed all focus to be on her hair, which she had left curly.

Turning to face Tony, she laughed as she saw him struggling with his tie.

"Wear these things every day and I still suck," Tony laughed as Ziva's lithe hands took over and began to tie the garment. Tony could feel how strongly her hands were shaking as she finally managed to complete the tie.

"Ready?" Tony asked as he grabbed his wallet and keys.

"I think I must be," Ziva said as she took Tony's hand in her's and squeezed it tightly.

* * *

"And then will you please tell us what the defendant did after he insisted he drive you home?"

Ziva had been on the witness stand for only 20 minutes and yet she was already clenching her fists to try and take her mind from the feeling of White on her body.

"He began to drive in the direction of my apartment, yet I must have closed my eyes for longer than I thought, because when I opened then, we were pulling up to a motel. I tried to get him to take me back to the bar or to let me leave and call a cab, but he overpowered me."

"And what did he do after that? Once you were in the motel room."

Ziva swallowed deeply.

"He said that I would like it. That I deserved what was coming because I—Gina, my undercover identity—slept with men whilst my husband was serving in Afghanistan."

"And…" the ADA trailed off.

"He raped me," Ziva said, her stoic face hiding the turmoil of her mind.

"Nothing further, your honor," the ADA said as she returned to her seat. As soon as she sat down, the defense attorney stood up, the look on her face predatory.

"Agent David," she said, "when you took this operation, were you aware that the man you were going to encounter was a potential rapist?"

"Yes, I studied the case closely once my boss offered it up to me."

"And yet you chose to stay," the woman said.

"I did not want to blow my cover and ruin the entire operation."

"Even when you began to feel ill? You began to feel ill. Yet you decided to stay with my client as he drove you to a motel."

Ziva's eyes darkened.

"Are you implying that perhaps I deserved to be raped?"

"Of course not!" the defense attorney said. "No one deserves to be raped, yet…I cannot help by think that perhaps you were fully conscious when you made the decision to stay with my client. You were held captive for many months, yes?"

"Yes," Ziva said harshly.

"And now that the attention was being taken from you, perhaps you simply took this operation so you could once again have the attention. Perhaps you simply called rape because-"

"Objection!" the ADA shouted.

"Nothing further," the defense attorney smiled as she returned to her seat.

"Miss David, you may step down. We are going to take a 15 minute recess. Be back at 10:35."

Just as the judge hit her gavel, Ziva was out of the witness stand and out of the courtroom before Tony had the chance to call her name.

"Ziva!" he called as he jogged after her. He reached her just as her hand was touching the door to the bathrooms. "Ziva," he breathed as he took her arm and spun her into his embrace. Her hands were trapped between their bodies and were not wrapped around him, yet Tony could feel her body relax into his embrace.

She murmured something into his chest, her words unintelligible.

"No, Ziva, you don't deserve this," Tony said. "You don't deserve any of what you've been forced to deal with."

Ziva laughed slightly as she pulled away from Tony just enough to look into his eyes.

"That is what I said," she smiled. "That, for the first time in a long time, I truly feel as though I do not deserve any of this."

With that, she gently kissed Tony and allowed herself to melt into his embrace, a feeling of peace falling over them.

* * *

**Lemme know what you think!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey! Sorry for the delay.**

**I just got Senior Release, so I'm gonna have some free time to write and stuff. Yay for being done with high school!**

**I hope you enjoy!**

**Oh! And, in my mind, this is taking place around February. Not sure if it fits with all my other time lines, but here and now I am declaring that it is February. HeeHeeHee**

* * *

"_That is what I said," she smiled. "That, for the first time in a long time, I truly feel as though I do not deserve any of this."_

_With that, she gently kissed Tony and allowed herself to melt into his embrace, a feeling of peace falling over them._

* * *

Tony and Ziva remained in each other's embrace, ignoring the buzz of the courthouse. They were brought out of their peaceful embrace when they heard a booming voice coming from a nearby doorway. They began to walk towards the sound of the voice, which eventually led them to a small garden area.

"How do you sleep at night?" the gruff voice said, the anger in his voice apparent.

"I sleep perfectly, Agent Gibbs," a second voice said. The voice, Ziva and Tony recognized, was that of the defense attorney.

"Really?" Gibbs barked, unaware that two of his agents were standing just feet away. "You sleep just fine at night after accusing a federal agent of wanting to be raped?"

"I did not say that Agent David wanted to be raped. I simply said that perhaps she did not care whether she was raped or not."

Ziva gasped when she saw Gibbs take a step towards the defense attorney, their faces just millimeters apart.

"Listen to me. Ziva David is like a daughter to me. She has been through hell and I don't need a self righteous attorney accusing her of what you've just accused her. She's one of the strongest people I've ever met and when she has that look in her eye—the look that you put there just a few minutes ago in the courthouse—something major is wrong. "

"Perhaps she isn't as strong as you once thought," the attorney grinned back, her eyes void of emotion.

Gibbs's eyes darkened as he invaded what was left of the attorney's personal space.

"Go. To. Hell," he growled.

"See you there," the attorney snapped back as she managed to slip away from Gibbs and walk back towards the courtroom.

When Gibbs turned to leave, he was met with the sight of Tony and Ziva standing just feet away from where he had been giving the attorney a piece of his mind.

"Gibbs," Ziva said gently as she broke away from Tony and took a step towards the man she considered to be her father. "Thank you," she smiled.

"Don't mention it," Gibbs said gruffly as he wrapped his arms around Ziva in a fatherly hug. He met Tony's eyes as he held Ziva, his eyes asking Tony's how she was holding up.

Tony smiled and nodded his head, giving Gibbs the confirmation that Ziva was doing as well as a person could be doing.

"I will see you later, yes?" Ziva asked as she pulled away from Gibbs's embrace.

"Tomorrow," Gibbs said. "I will see you tomorrow."

Ziva rolled her eyes slightly, but nodded as she stepped back to take Tony's hand in her's.

"Tomorrow it is," she smiled as she and Tony turned around and began to walk outside, anxious to get out of the court and into the fresh air.

* * *

"God, you're gorgeous," Tony breathed as he began to unbutton Ziva's blouse.

"I take it you enjoy this outfit," she laughed as he gently pushed her up against the wall.

"No," he said as he moved to kiss the skin now exposed on her neck. "Ninjas who can keep their composure in court turn me on, that's all."

Ziva laughed as she felt Tony pick her up and carry her to the bedroom. He laid her down gently on the bed and kneeled over her, grinning when he saw the predatory look in her eyes.

_She bounces back quickly,_ Tony thought to himself as he continued to unbutton her blouse.

Ziva let a small sigh escape her lips as she closed her eyes and let all thoughts leave her head. She simply gave up and let Tony do whatever it was he wanted.

Ziva inhaled deeply when she felt cool air hit her exposed torso, yet the shivers turned more into those of anticipation when she felt his hands move to the waist of her pants. She felt him unsnap the button that held her pants up and she arched her back slightly.

Suddenly she felt his hands leave her body.

"What the hell is that?" Tony's voice rang out.

Ziva's eyes flew open as she felt Tony's weight leave the bed.

She looked down to where Tony's finger was pointing and she mentally head slapped herself for not stopping Tony from going as far as she had let him go.

Going across her stomach from one hip bone to the next was an angry red scar that Tony knew was fresh.

"When the hell did you do that?" he said angrily. "That certainly wasn't there this morning!"

"Tony," Ziva said as she sat up on the bed and tried to reach for Tony's hand.

"Tell me!" Tony almost yelled.

"Tony, please," Ziva pleaded. "Do not yell. I will-"

"Tell me!"

"This morning," she said softly. "I saw White as he was being led into the court room and I panicked."

"What the hell did you use? They've got metal detectors up to wazoo!"

"A safety pin," she whispered.

"I can't believe you," Tony said through clenched teeth. "I was 30 seconds away and you run off and do this?" he said, gesturing wildly to the scar that crossed Ziva's entire torso.

"Please, Tony, I am sorry," Ziva said, her voice cracking and threatening to give way to tears.

"I gotta get outta here," Tony said as he grabbed his coat and made a dash for the door.

Ziva found herself speechless and sitting alone in their bedroom, her torso bare save for the violent scar running across it.

* * *

The door slammed violently as Tony stormed from their apartment, thundering down the stairs in a rage. He was muttering to himself the entire time as he made his way down the stairs and into his car. He wasn't sure where he was going to go, but he didn't care.

He had been driving aimlessly for a half an hour when he drove past his once favorite bar, Jack's Ale House. It was the place he often visited to get images of Jeanne from his head.

"Tony!" the bartender shouted as Tony entered the bar, kicking the snow from his boots.

"Hey, Jack," Tony muttered as he made his way to a free stool by the bar.

"Long time no see," Jack smiled. "The usual?"

"Yeah, and make it a double," Tony snorted.

"To what do we owe the pleasure of seeing your face 'round here again? Especially at 1:30 in the afternoon," Jack asked as he set a shot down in front of Tony.

"Best way to forget your troubles," Tony said as he lifted the shot to his lips, "is with the best booze in all of D.C," he finished as he threw back the shot.

"Ahhh," Jack smiled as he poured Tony another shot. "There's a woman in your life, again."

"How'd ya know?" Tony laughed.

"How many troubles can a pretty boy like you have outside of women?" Jack laughed back as Tony finished the shot in the blink of an eye.

"Yeah, there's a woman," Tony said as he stared down into the empty shot glass. "And a damn wonderful one, at that."

"Well, if you're looking for someone to take your mind off this woman, Lindsey's still got a thing for you," Jack said as he nodded his head towards the opposite end of the bar.

Sitting at the end of the bar was a rather well endowed redhead, smiling at Tony as she sipped a cosmopolitan. When Tony was dealing with Jeanne, Tony often found comfort in Lindsey and spent many nights in bed with her, pushing all other women from his mind.

"Thanks," Tony scoffed, "but I don't think I'm drunk enough for that yet."

"Guess we'll just have to get a few more shots in you, then," Lindsey winked at Tony as he threw back another shot.

The next hour passed in a similar manner for Tony, discussing sports and women with Jack as he did his best to avoid Lindsey's advances and ration his alcohol consumption.

Ziva spent the next hour in a much less calm state of mind. She had completely destroyed her and Tony's bedroom, only to tidy it up and hide all evidence of a meltdown. She had called Tony countless times, leaving him frantic message after frantic message, begging him to come home.

Just as she was about to call McGee at the Navy Yard and have him locate Tony via the GPS on his phone, Ziva remembered that Tony once told her he always went to the same spot to clear his mind. Throwing her sweatpants off and pulling her jeans and t-shirt on, Ziva grabbed her keys and jogged down the stairs, hurrying to find Tony.

Driving faster than her normal speed, Ziva desperately made her way towards Jack's Ale House. Her tires squealed as she threw the car into park and jumped out of the car, jogging into the bar.

The minute she threw the door open, Ziva had to take a few moments to allow her eyes to adjust to the darkness. And the minute they adjusted, she wished they hadn't.

On the dance floor was a lone couple, their bodies molded together without an inch of space between them. The man's hands were traveling all over the woman as their lips were locked in a heated kiss. The redheaded woman was a stranger to Ziva, yet she recognized the man instantly.

"Tony," she said softly as she watched the two of them grind together with the music.

"Hey, Tony!" Jack called as he saw a woman staring at Tony and Lindsey on the dance floor. "I think you've got company!"

Tony looked up from Lindsey's body towards the direction Jack was pointing, yet he saw nothing.

"What're you talking about you?" Tony hollered. "No one's there!"

"There was just a woman in the doorway; long, curly brunette hair in blue jeans and a white t-shirt. Drop dead gorgeous even without any make up."

When he heard Jack's description, Tony's hands dropped from Lindsey's body.

"What is it?" she asked as she refused to let go of her hold on Tony's firm ass.

"I gotta get her," Tony said as he swatted Lindsey's hands from him.

"Why? Am I not good enough for you?" she whined. "Who is she, anyways?"

"My fiancée," Tony said as he grabbed his jacket and ran from the bar, desperate to catch up to Ziva before she did anything rash.

* * *

"Ziva!" Tony yelled as he finally managed to unlock their apartment door. "Ziva, I know you're home!"

Though there was still alcohol in his system, Tony was quickly sobering up as he jogged from room to room, hunting for his Ziva. Finally he reached the spare room at the end of the hallway, the only room he had yet to check. He went to turn the lock, his heart pounding, yet he found that it was locked.

"Ziva!" he cried as he jiggled the door handle. "Ziva, please, open the door," he said as he rested his forehead against the door. "I know you're in there…"

Ziva was, in fact, in the room that Tony was begging for entrance into. She was sitting against the all opposite the door, staring at the door handle that Tony continued to jiggle. In her hands lie two things—the engagement ring Tony had given her and the knife she first used when she began cutting.

"Leave, Tony," she said through the door, her eyes not leaving the blade in her hand.

"Not until you open this door and prove to me you're going to be safe."

"I am not a child, Tony," Ziva replied, her voice void of emotions. "You do not need to make sure I am safe…Besides, you are too late," she added under her breath.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Tony demanded as he shook the handle once again.

"Relax," she said sarcastically as she unexpectedly threw the door open. "I have not cut yet."

"Then what did you mean by I'm too late to keep you safe?" Tony asked as he took a step towards Ziva, only to have her take a step back.

"You hurt me, Tony!" she said, tears forming in her eyes. She angrily wiped them away, furious at herself for showing weakness. "And when I get hurt emotionally, I hurt myself physically!"

"But you said you didn't do anything…" Tony asked, his heart still racing as he saw the blade held tightly in her hand.

"I have not," she sighed. "But I am extremely close!" she said, her voice rising in pitch again. "I am not safe because, as of now, I cannot get the mental image of you and that redhead bimbo from my mind!"

"Ziva, nothing happened. We had sex a few times while I was getting over Jeanne, but that's it. I haven't gone to that bar in over a year and I haven't seen her in just as long," Tony said, trying to mend the situation.

"Then why did I walk into the bar to find the two of you kissing and groping each other?" she said, the image finally bringing her tears to the surface. They began to fall freely from her eyes, unable to be stopped.

Tony stood there in silence, unsure as to how to respond.

"Forget it," Ziva said as she took a step towards Tony. "You should leave. You smell disgusting," she added as she pushed him out through the doorway.

"I'm not leaving you," Tony said as he dug his heels into the ground, preventing Ziva from pushing him out of the room entirely.

"Really?" Ziva mocked. "I think you are," she said as she took the door in her hand and slammed it shut, leaving it just millimeters from Tony's face.

"Ziva!" Tony yelled, his hands flying to the door handle, only to find it locked once again.

Sighing, Ziva slid down the wall next to the door, the tears showing no sign of stopping.

"I am sorry," she said softly as she slowly rolled up her pant leg, exposing her left leg. "I am truly sorry," she said once again as she dug the tip of the blade into her leg.

* * *

**Please, please, please don't hurt me! **

**I know you guys all hate me for having Ziva cut again, but I wanna tell you guys that I've been a cutter since I was 12. I'm now 17 and it's been hell going through it. It's not easy to stop. I stopped, made it a few weeks, then slipped. I made it a few months without cutting, but then cut again. It takes time and there is definitely some two steps forward, one step back action.**

**So, please, don't hate me! Ziva is going to get better and she is going to overcome cutting. I pinky promise.**

**Oh, and on a personal note, I've made it 11 months, one week, and 6 days since I've last cut. Yay!**

**Reviews are lovely!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Wow. All of the wonderful reviews you guys leave me literally bring tears to my eyes. The love and support you show my story—and my struggle with self harm, as I mentioned in the last chapter—is wonderful. You guys all rock my face off. ^_^**

**You guys are the best readers a girl could hope for.**

**One more thing. I'm not sure if it will happen with this chapter or the next, but the 100****th**** review will get a special one-shot written just for them! It can involve any characters and be any genre—angst, humor, or, my favorite, pure smut. HeeHeeHee**

* * *

"_Ziva!" Tony yelled, his hands flying to the door handle, only to find it locked once again._

_Sighing, Ziva slid down the wall next to the door, the tears showing no sign of stopping._

"_I am sorry," she said softly as she slowly rolled up her pant leg, exposing her left leg. "I am truly sorry," she said once again as she dug the tip of the blade into her leg._

* * *

Blood sprang from the cut as Ziva slowly dragged the knife down her leg. With each passing moment she gripped the knife tighter, pressing it deeper into her skin.

Instinct caused her to clench her eyes, yet she forced them open to stare at the blood trickling rapidly down her leg. She had placed a white towel under her leg and the blood was leaving small circular stains as it dripped from her leg. The pain was excruciating, yet she didn't care. It took the edge off the emotions that were filling her mind; the images that wouldn't leave.

She finally reached her ankle and pulled the knife from her leg, her eyes never moving from the blood on her leg. The blood was coming quickly, a crimson river traveling down her leg.

Yet one crimson river was not enough for Ziva. She gripped the knife once again and pulled it down her leg a second time, the same depth and directly parallel to the first. She set the knife down on the towel beneath her legs, watching as both crimson trails merged into one. Sighing, Ziva closed her eyes and rested her head against the wall, the pain lulling her to sleep.

Unfortunately, sleep didn't come to Tony. He had, per Ziva's comment, taken a shower to get the stench of the bar off his body. When he emerged, a pair of flannel pajama pants and Ohio State sweatshirt on, he tip toed his way to the room Ziva had locked herself in. He pressed his ear to the door, a small smile forming on his lips when he heard her light snores.

Using tricks she had taught him, Tony quietly picked the lock to the room and gently turned the handle. He expected to find a sleeping Ziva, the knife gripped in her hand. Yet when his eyes found Ziva resting against the wall, he couldn't help the scream that escaped him.

"Ziva!" he yelled as he ran over to her, shoving the knife beyond her reach. "Ziva, baby, wake up!" he said as he shook her gently.

Ziva opened her eyes, sleep still fighting to control her body.

"What do you want now?" she asked bitterly.

"Oh my God," Tony said breathlessly as he looked down at her leg. "Ziva, I am so sorry."

Ziva laughed when he said that, shaking her head. "You are lucky I have a soft spot for liars," she said.

Tony resisted the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes as he knelt down next to her and took the towel from beneath her leg. He wrapped it around her leg, pressing steadily to stop the blood from pouring from her leg.

He sat there in silence, keeping a steady pressure on her wounds. After a few minutes, he pulled the towel from Ziva's legs and saw that the blood had showed no sign of slowly.

"We gotta get you to Ducky," he said as he re-wrapped the towel around her leg.

"No," Ziva replied simply, yanking her leg from Tony's grasp.

"Yes," he said firmly, not letting go of her leg. "These are deep and you've already lost a ton of blood," he added, his voice softer and more vulnerable. "Please, Zi, I'm worried about you."

"I have cut this deep before, Tony," she said. "I will be fine."

"Dammit, Ziva!" Tony yelled. "We need to get you to Ducky now!"

"What will that accomplish?" Ziva snapped. "You will drag me into Autopsy against my will and everyone in the Navy Yard will see what I have done. Gibbs will see and stick me on desk duty, unless of course Vance decides I am far more damaged than he thought and chooses to send me back to Israel."

"Give it up, Ziva," Tony said. "We either go to Ducky or we go to the hospital. Your choice."

Ziva exhaled deeply, her head beginning to feel light.

"Ducky," she said, her voice wavering from the blood she had already lost.

"Ducky it is," Tony said as he stood and scooped Ziva into his arms. Ziva slapped at him, trying to push her body away from his, but he held her in a tight grip.

"I hate you," she managed to say between the throbbing in her leg and the exhaustion that was trying to force her to sleep.

"At least you're alive to hate me," Tony responded as he made his way down the stairs of their apartment and towards his car. He placed her in the passenger seat, kissing her forehead before closing the door. He ran around the car to the other side, jumping in the driver's seat and turning the keys in the ignition, squealing out towards the Navy Yard.

Tony looked down to check on the towel surrounding Ziva's leg and he saw that a tiny amount of blood has begun to soak through.

"Ziva, I'm so sorry I did this. I was frustrated at what you did at the courthouse and-"

"Do not speak to me," Ziva said, her eyes filling with tears once again.

Tony's heart nearly snapped in half when he saw the look on her face. He had seen her beg him to choose a knife to use against herself, he had watched her cut, he had seen her held captive, yet he had never seen the look on her face that he saw at that moment.

"I love you," were the only words Tony could manage to say as he turned into the NCIS parking garage. "Come on, Zi," he said as he opened the passenger door, "let's get you down to Ducky."

* * *

"Got a cause of death yet, Duck?"

"Jethro," Ducky smiled, "I am flattered, but you know it takes me more than thirty minutes to properly determine cause and time of death. It will take me longer seeing as Mr. Palmer has gone home ill."

"Well, why'd you call me down here?" Gibbs asked, shaking his head at the M.E.

"Because, Jethro, when I did the external exam, I found-"

"Ducky?"

Both Gibbs and Ducky looked towards the Autopsy doors when they heard them swoosh open and Tony's voice call out. He stood in front of the doors with Ziva in his arms, her head barely held up and her leg covered with a bloody towel.

The scene before the two men caused them both to rush to Tony, fear on their faces.

"What the hell happened, DiNozzo?" Gibbs said as he took Ziva from Tony's arms and walked her to one of the examination tables.

"Ducky, please, I tried to get her to come here sooner, but you guys know how stubborn she is. She's been like this for at least a half an hour and I'm not sure how deep the cuts are. Please tell me you can help her."

"I can sure try, my boy," Ducky said as he pulled on a fresh apron and pair of gloves.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs growled. "What happened?"

"Look, boss, can we talk about this later? I wanna make sure she's gonna be okay."

"Fine, but the minute Ducky's done with her, you're getting your ass in my office."

And with that, Tony walked over to Ziva's side and reached to touch her hand, his face falling when she pulled away from him.

"Do not touch me," Ziva said softly as she turned her head away from Tony and towards Ducky. "Ducky, I assure you I will be fine. I have cut this deep before and I have survived. All I need is some hydrogen peroxide and I will be fine."

"Ziva, my dear, I am not sure if that will fix this," Ducky said as he took a damp towel and began to gently wash the cuts, trying his best to stop her from wincing in pain.

Hearing that, Ziva let her head fall down onto the table and her eyes close, fear and anger taking over her mind.

"Ziva, it is best if you try to stay awake," the medical examiner said as he reached for the hydrogen peroxide. "I am assuming you do not wish to talk about the events that led to this right now, so perhaps we could talk about something else? I have always wanted to visit Israel, I am even thinking of taking a holiday there this summer. Where would you recommend I visit?"

Smiling at the man's attempts at conversation, Ziva began to weakly tell Ducky of her favorite child hood places, her body threatening to betray her every moment.

Seeing that Ziva was being taken care of by Ducky, Gibbs and Tony made their way to the elevator. They entered silently, yet when Gibbs hit the emergency stop button, the silence was broken.

"What the hell happened?" he yelled. "I saw her after the trial and you guys seemed to be walking on cloud nine!"

"I screwed up, boss," Tony said, not taking his eyes from the floor.

"Ya think?" he replied sarcastically. "But I'm gonna need more detail than that."

Tony sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "She cut at the courthouse. She saw White and freaked out, so she took a safety pin and use it to cut her stomach. We were about to, ya know, and I saw it. I freaked and ran out to a bar and got a bit tipsy."

"And that led to the giant slashes on her legs how?"

"Well…" Tony said. "After the whole Jeanne thing, there was a girl at the bar who I used to go home with quite a bit. She was there today and we started dancing and getting a bit, uh, hands on."

"And lemme guess," Gibbs said sarcastically, "she came to find you and saw you two getting a bit hands on?"

"Yeah…" Tony sighed.

Suddenly Tony felt a hand come into contact with the back of his head.

"I deserved that…" Tony trailed off.

"And a hell of a lot more. I told you, DiNozzo, break her heart and I break your neck."

"Look, boss," Tony said, "I know I screwed up big time, but I swear to God that I love Ziva more than anything else in the world. I made a mistake and it cost both of us a hell of a lot. But, Gibbs, you gotta believe me when I say I'm gonna fix this."

"You better fix it," Gibbs replied. "Or else," he threatened as he flipped the switch and brought the elevator back down to Autopsy. "I gotta go check on McGee and work the case, but I'll be stopping by later tonight to talk to you guys," he said as the doors open and Tony stepped out.

"See you then," Tony muttered as he turned to walk into Autopsy, his heart racing. "Hey," he said as he walked into the room, heading towards the table Ducky and Ziva were at.

"Hello, Anthony," Ducky said as he pulled off his pair of latex gloves. Ziva was sitting upright on the table, her wounded leg covered in gauze.

He tried to make eye contact with Ziva, yet she refused to look at him.

"How're the cuts?" Tony asked.

"Deep, but just shallow enough to avoid stitches. I used butterfly stitches to hold them together and then wrapped the entire leg to protect the cuts from infection. The bandages are going to need to be changed twice a day, if you could help her with that."

"Of course, anything," Tony replied. "And what about blood loss?" he asked.

"She did lose a lot, but as long as she stays hydrated, she should be okay within the next two days."

The entire time the two men were conversing, Ziva was sitting on the cold Autopsy table, staring at the bandage wrapped around her leg. She felt ashamed, yet more than anything she still felt the pain of seeing Tony in the arms of another woman. She never imagined herself to be the jealous type, yet she couldn't help but feel that way with Tony.

"So we can go home?" Tony asked, anxious to be alone with her and talk.

"I do not see why not," Ducky smiled. He placed his hand on Tony's arm, encouraging him to take a few steps away from where Ziva sat. "When she gets home, Anthony, it is likely that she will not want to talk," he said softly.

"Yeah, I think I got that," Tony scoffed.

"But, Anthony, she must talk. Do not force her to talk or overwhelm her, but you must push her."

"And if she still refuses?"

"Push harder," Ducky said before turning around and returning to Ziva's side.

* * *

**A filler chapter, of sorts, but one that was needed.**

**The next chapter will be heavier, with Tony and Ziva talking about what happened and how it will affect their future and maybe a bit of Gibbs being a father figure to Ziva and/or Tony. **

**But, in all honesty, this story goes where you want it to go! Give me suggestions and I'll use them, fo' sho'.**

**Reviews are love!**


	11. Chapter 11

**This Author's Note is loooooong. You don't have to read it if you don't want to, but it'd be appreciated if you did. ^_^**

**So, this chapter was tough to write. Not really because of the content, but because of some of the comments I got for the last chapters. You guys have all shown this story such support and shown me support, both as an author and personally, often bringing tears to my eyes because I feel like you all truly love my writing. Yet with this chapter, I truly did cry, yet they were tears of hurt.**

**Because of one person.**

**I'm not going to call them out, but I do want to say a few things. **

**Cutters are NOT crazy, nor do they need to be locked in padded room while wearing a straight jacket. It appalls me that a person could say such things, whether about a fictional character such as Ziva or a real human being such as myself. I have been cutting for 5 years and it has been the most difficult thing to deal with and overcome. It has been almost a year since I have last cut, but I still consider myself a cutter. When I'm talking about cutters, I say "we." Cutting has been and always will be a struggle for me. **

**But I am NOT crazy, nor is anyone who engages in self harm of any type. If you think that way, you couldn't be more wrong. People who struggle with self harm are people who are dealing with pain in the only way they feel they can. I'm not saying it's healthy, nor am I condoning it. I am simply saying that those who self harm are human beings, just like the rest of the 6 billion people in the world.**

**For those who say those who self harm are 'nuts' and 'crazy,' I have one thing to say. I hope that one day you encounter someone close to you who has engaged in self harm. I hope that one day you witness the struggle of self harm first hand and can see just how hurtful your words are.**

**This Author's Note has been long and some of you probably skipped it, but I needed to say this stuff. I hope you enjoy this chapter. **

* * *

"_But, Anthony, she must talk. Do not force her to talk or overwhelm her, but you must push her."_

"_And if she still refuses?"_

"_Push harder," Ducky said before turning around and returning to Ziva's side._

* * *

As the two agents walked back to down the hallway to their apartment, Tony couldn't help but notice the way Ziva kept one hand on the wall, using it to steady herself as she limped. By the time they reached their door, Tony already had the key out and was ready to open the door, anxious to get Ziva in the apartment and off the leg that was obviously causing her pain.

"Are you hungry?" he asked as he watched her make her way to the couch, wincing in pain as she bent her knees and sat down. He grabbed a glass and turned the faucet on, filling it with water.

"No," Ziva replied simply as she rubbed the area around her scars through the bandages.

Tony sighed as he shut the faucet off and walked towards here.

"Here," he said as he set the glass down in front of her along with two pain pills and moved to sit on the side of the couch opposite of Ziva.

"Thank you," she murmured as she took the glass and gulped down the water, soothing her parched body. She ignored the pain pills, choosing to deal with the throbbing in her legs on her own.

"Ziva," Tony said as he stared at the floor, "I wanna talk."

"So talk," she said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Will you talk with me?" he asked, looking over at her.

"What would you like me to say, Tony?" she asked as she turned her body to face him, her voice full of hurt and anger. "That I can forget all about what I saw? That I can simply erase the image of you and that redheaded woman all over each other in that bar from my mind?"

Tony turned away from her gaze, shame filling his mind.

"I fucked up, Zi," he sighed, "I fucked up big time and I know that. But, Zi, you have to know how much I love you and how awful I feel that I did this to you. I know apologizing can't change what I did, but I am so sorry, Ziva. I am so, so sorry."

Ziva simply sat there in silence. Her mind and heart were listening to Tony, yet her mind didn't know how to respond to what he was saying. So Tony continued speaking, hoping to get a response from her.

"Please, Ziva, talk to me. Yell at me, scream, just say something. Please."

"You hurt me, Tony," she finally said as she turned her head to face Tony.

"I know I did, Ziva," he said.

"You hurt me so, so much."

"Will you please say something other than I hurt you?" he asked, frustration setting in.

Ziva took a deep breath. She did not want to talk with Tony at this particular moment, yet she had heard what Ducky had told him and she knew he would only continue to push her.

"When I saw you with…"

"Lindsey," Tony muttered.

"When I saw you with Lindsey," she continued, "I thought I had lost you. I thought that my cutting finally pushed you away and you had given up."

Tony opened his mouth to speak, yet Ziva held up her hand, her eyes pleading with his to allow her to continue.

"I have lost everyone who I have ever loved. My mother and Tali," she began, "I shot my own brother," she added with a chuckle. "I lost Roy, I lost Michael, and I have all but lost my father. When I saw you with her, I thought I had lost you as well."

"You're never gonna lose me," Tony said softly.

"I am still afraid, Tony. I have never loved someone as I love you. Mossad taught me to never show my emotions, to never fall in love. I was raised to believe that love was something I would never be able to have. Yet here I am, madly in love with you. It terrifies me. It terrifies me to think that this could all be over in a second."

Tony scooted over to Ziva and reached out, taking one of her hands in his. He smiled when she didn't pull away from him, a sign her walls were slowly coming down.

"It terrifies me, too," he smiled. "It terrifies me to think that I almost ruined us because of some redheaded bimbo who I got with at a bar."

Ziva couldn't help but let out a small chuckle when he referred to Lindsey as a bimbo.

"So what do we do now?" Tony asked as he looked into her eyes.

A small smile formed on Ziva's face.

"A pinky swear," she said as she held out her pink. The smile on her face grew when she saw the confused look on Tony's face.

"And what exactly is a pinky swear?" he asked as he looked quizzically at Ziva's pinky.

"It is something Tali, Ari and I used to do as children. A pinky swear is the most powerful agreement two people can make. If a pinky swear is broken, lightening will come down and smite you."

Tony let out a laugh when she finished.

"And what exactly will we be pinky swearing?" he asked as he, too, held out his pinky.

"That you will touch me and only me," she smiled. "That you will never hurt me like this again," she added, her face serious. She reached her pinky out to hook with his, yet he pulled his away.

"Only if you pinky swear something, too," he said.

"That seems fair," she said.

"That you'll come to me any time that you get the urge to cut. That every time you want to cut, you send me some secret code word. That you promise to work your ass off to beat it," he said.

"I think I can do that," she smiled as she once again reached her pinky out.

"Pinky swear?" Tony asked as he took her pinky in his.

"Pinky swear," she said as she squeezed his pinky, a tear falling from her eye.

* * *

It was 10:00 when a knock was heard on the door, breaking Tony and Ziva from the peace they had found. Ziva had laid down on the couch, her head in Tony's lap, while The Wizard of Oz played in the television. Every since she had first seen it, it had become one of Ziva's favorites.

"I will get it," she said as she stood up, wincing when she put weight on her leg.

Tony's heart began to beat louder when she walked to the door. He remembered that Gibbs had promised he would stop by later, and he had the feeling that the time had come for both he and Ziva to face their boss.

"Gibbs," Ziva said softly when she opened the door to see her boss standing in the doorway.

"I brought dinner," he said gruffly as he held up a brown paper bag and a carry out tray with coffee.

"Thank you," she laughed as she moved to allow Gibbs to enter the apartment. "We can eat in the living room," she said as she reached for the tray of drinks and took it from Gibbs.

Gibbs just nodded, following Ziva as she walked towards the living room.

"Tony," she said as she set the drinks down on the table in front of the couch, "Gibbs brought dinner."

"Awesome!" Tony said, pumping his fist in the air.

Gibbs raised an eye brow at Tony's childish behavior, surprised at the calm that the two shared. But he remained silent. He simply unpacked the dinner—Chinese, of course—and focused intently on opening each carton and handing it to either Tony or Ziva, depending on its contents.

"So," Gibbs began, his mouth full of noodles. "Care to tell me what's been going on since I last saw you two?"

Tony and Ziva both glanced at each other, unsure as to who would do the talking. Finally, Ziva set her take out carton down and took the tea that Gibbs had brought, warming her hands.

"I saw White being led into the courthouse and I freaked out. I found a safety pin in my bag and used it to cut across my stomach. Tony and I came home and, as we were ready to be intimate," she said with a blush, "he saw the scar. Naturally, that upset him and he ran out."

As she was speaking, Tony moved his hand to hers and gripped it, giving her the reassurance he knew she needed to continue speaking.

"I called him half a dozen times yet got no response. Then I remembered a bar he once mentioned and I drove out there to find him. I walked into the bar and saw him dancing with a woman. I panicked, drove home, locked myself in the spare room, and did this," she said, pointing to her gauze covered leg.

"And what are you gonna do to stop this from happening again?" Gibbs asked.

A grin formed on Tony's face.

"Let's just say that if either one of us does something stupid like what we did today, lightening will come down and smite us."

Gibbs gave his agents a questioning look as they looked to each other and smiled, yet he chose to stay silent. Suddenly, a phone began to ring. Looking down at the table, they saw it was Tony's phone that was buzzing.

"It's Abby," he said as he read the caller ID.

"She's probably gonna be asking why you guys came in today when I told you to take the rest of today and tomorrow off."

"Yeah," Tony said as he stood up and flipped his phone open, waiting to hear the screams of Abby. He walked out of the room, leaving Gibbs and Ziva to talk on their own.

"Gibbs," Ziva began once Tony was out of the room. "I know you think they are a sign of weakness,-"

"Not among family, they aren't," Gibbs interrupted.

Ziva always smiled when they were called a family and this instance was no different.

"But I want you to know how truly sorry I am for what I have done," she continued.

"Ziver," Gibbs said, "you know you're like a daughter to me, right? That if Kelly had lived, I would want her to be like you."

"Yes," she replied, "you have said that."

"So you know that I forgive you. It still kills me to see you doing this to yourself, but I'll still love you like my own daughter."

Once again, tears began to form in Ziva's eyes.

"And I am eternally grateful to you for that," she said. "You are the closest thing I have to a father, Gibbs, and I love you as such."

Gibbs smiled as the two of them continued to eat their Chinese and drink their beverages, just like he would have been doing with Kelly.

"Gibbs?" Ziva asked, breaking the silence. "May I ask you a question?"

"Shoot," Gibbs replied as he set his noodles on the table.

"I have not discussed this with Tony yet," she began, "we have not discussed the wedding at all yet, in fact," she continued, "but seeing as you are the closest thing I have to a father, I was wondering if perhaps you would like to walk me down the aisle?"

Gibbs couldn't help the smile that formed on his face.

"I would be honored, Ziver," he said as he reached over and gave her as much of a hug as two sitting people could engage in.

"But," she said when she pulled away from Gibbs, "if you do not mind sharing, I think I would like it if Ducky also walked me down the aisle."

"Well, you do have two arms," Gibbs said.

This time, Ziva flung her arms around Gibbs, unable to fight the emotions that flooded her.

"Thank you," she whispered in his ear. "Thank you so, so much."

"It's my pleasure," he replied as he stood up. "But I think I better get going."

"Are you sure you do not want to stay until Tony is done speaking with Abby?" she asked as she, too, stood up, and began to walk with Gibbs to the door.

"Nah, just tell him I say good night," Gibbs said as he opened the door and stepped into the hallway.

"Good night, Gibbs," she said as she leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for dinner."

"Yep," he replied as he pulled his coat tighter and began to walk down the hall.

Ziva silently shut the door and slowly made her way back to the couch, the throbbing in her leg beginning to affect her once again.

"Boss man leave?" Tony asked as he walked back into the living room, sitting next to Ziva on the couch.

"Yes. He would like me to tell you that he says good night," she said.

"Yeah," Tony sighed, "it is getting' late, huh?"

"Is that code for you would like to go to sleep?" she laughed.

"Yeah," he yawned.

"Well, come on then, my fuzzy bear," she said as she stood up, trying her best to ignore the pain in her leg. "Let us get some sleep."

Just as she began to walk to their bedroom, she felt Tony's arm scoop her up and lift her up.

"Tony!" she laughed, "what on earth do you think you are doing?"

"You're in pain, and I'm being a good fiancée and helping ease that pain," he replied as though it was the simplest concept in the world.

"I love you," she laughed as she relaxed her head against his chest. "Very, very much."

* * *

**Kind of an awkward ending to the chapter, but oh well.**

**Honestly, guys, this story goes where you want it. Give me ANY ideas or things you want to see and I'll try to squeeze them in here. I'm serious, dudes. This story is for YOU.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you for all of the wonderful support, guys.**

**One reviewer said that Ziva might need some lovin' to get over the pain of the past few chapters, and this is what I think they had in mind. ^_^**

**This chapter is pure fluff/smut with a tiny, tiny, tiny bit of plot in it. But you need to tilt your head and squint your eyes to see that plot. LoL**

**Oh! And thunderstorms during February may not seem realistic, but I live in Michigan. Everything is possible in Michigan. HeeHeeHee**

* * *

_Just as she began to walk to their bedroom, she felt Tony's arm scoop her up and lift her up._

"_Tony!" she laughed, "what on earth do you think you are doing?"_

"_You're in pain, and I'm being a good fiancée and helping ease that pain," he replied as though it was the simplest concept in the world._

"_I love you," she laughed as she relaxed her head against his chest. "Very, very much."_

* * *

It was not the rumble of thunder or the crackling of lightning that woke Tony from his slumber at 4:34 the next morning. Rather, it was the death grip that he felt on his sweatshirt and he shaking coming from that death grip.

"Ziva?" he whispered, using the hand that wasn't wrapped around her to rub the sleep from his eyes.

She didn't reply. She just stayed there, her head resting against his chest with her eyes clenched as she held on to him for dear life.

"Ziva," he said again, "what's wrong, baby?"

When a strike of lightning came down, Tony felt Ziva pull herself closer to him, her breathing labored.

_Ninja's afraid of thunderstorms?_ He thought to himself.

"I hate thunderstorms," she said into his chest.

"Why?" he asked with a light laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

"It is not funny!" she said as she pulled away from Tony. She was still hurt from his previous actions and now his laughter hurt her further.

"I'm sorry, Zi," he said as he reached his arm out to wrap around her, only to have her turn onto her other side and turn her back to him. "I shouldn't have laughed. It's just...I never thought my ninja would be afraid of thunder and lightning. "

"Well I am!" she said, her eyes still clenched shut and her body still curled into the smallest position it could be in.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" he asked, reaching his hand out to touch her arm.

"Every horrible thing that has happened to me has taken place during or extremely close to a thunderstorm," she said silently.

"Like what?"

"Both my mother's funeral and Tali's funeral took place during thunderstorms. It was pouring and eventually everyone left but Ari and I. We stood there in the freezing rain just unable to move…" she trailed off as memories of their funerals filled her mind.

Tony once again moved to wrap his arms around her, yet she pulled away again, refusing his touch.

"And when I killed Ari, there was a thunderstorm as well. The sound of my gun sounded eerily like the lightning that was outside. And now this!" she said, her voice cracking with the last sentence. "The man I love getting very hands on with a redhead, followed by what? Slicing my leg open and a thunderstorm," she said, the tears now flowing freely from her eyes.

This time, when Tony moved his arms to wrap around her and she pulled away, her refused to let her go. He pulled her closer to him, though her back sill remained to him.

"I can't change the past and I can't change what I did, but I can help give you some new memories that go along with thunderstorms," he whispered in her ear as she brushed her hair to the side.

She rolled over onto her side, now face to face with him.

"What do you mean?" she asked, tear tracks running down her face.

"This," Tony said as he leaned over and placed his lips on hers, parting them gently with his tongue. He could taste the saltiness of her tears, yet continued his passionate exploration of her mouth.

Ziva relaxed into his touch, slipping her own tongue into his mouth. She used her feet to pull the covers from their bodies, allowing them free reign without the worry of getting tangled. Her hands began to make quick work of his sweatshirt, anxious to feel his body. The kiss was broken only when she pulled his Ohio State sweatshirt over his head and threw it to the floor.

Her hands began to run over his chest, loving the feel of the body heat radiating off of him. Though their lips were still fused together, a few fresh tears fell from her eyes and she imagined the hands of Lindsey traveling the same path that her own hands were taking.

"Hey," Tony whispered as he pulled away from Ziva and used the pads of this thumbs to wipe the fresh tears from her cheeks. "I'm not that bad of a kisser, am I?"

Ziva let out a laugh. "No," she smiled. "You're a great kisser," she said as she returned her lips to his.

Tony's hands began to maneuver at Ziva's waist, tugging at the fabric of her tank top. Her muscles tensed when he began to tug it up, and Tony felt it. He wasn't sure why she tensed, yet then he remembered that the last time her saw her body, he had run away.

He pulled away from her lips and moved them to her ear, his hot breath tickling her ear.

"I promise I'm not gonna run away," he whispered in her ear. He felt her head nod and kissed her neck, whispering "I love you," into her ear before moving back to her lips. His hands continued to tug at the fabric of her shirt, breaking the kiss when he pulled it above her head and threw it over his shoulder.

He gently rolled her over, lying her down on her back. He moved his mouth to her neck, peppering her collarbone with kisses until he reached her breasts. He took one in his mouth, flicking the sensitive nub with his tongue. She let out a sigh as he did so, arching her back slightly when he moved to the other breast.

Tired of being unable to reciprocate, Ziva moved her hands to his flannel pajama pants, trying to push them down.

Yet Tony moved his hands over hers, effectively stopping her attempts at undressing him.

"This is about you, sweet cheeks," he said as he looked up from his position at her breasts. "All about you," he added as he moved his head back to her right breast, sucking gently.

A sigh escaped her lips as he did so, yet her sigh turned into a grunt when he moved his mouth from her breast and began to kiss his way down her stomach. He reached the scar crossing her abdomen, watching the muscles in Ziva's abdomen stiffen. The scar was already fading, proof that it was nothing more than a minor scratch.

He stuck his tongue out, using it to lightly trace the scar across her abdomen. Her abdomen relaxed, giving way to shivers of anticipation as he moved his mouth lower, reaching the tops of her sweat pants in seconds. His hands made quick work of them, pulling them down deftly and throwing them into the same pile as his sweatshirt and her tank top.

He placed gentle kisses on the inside of her thighs, his hands moving down to her gauze covered leg. He brushed his hand over the gauze, as if he could heal it with just his touch. Yet soon his touch moved from her legs to her wet center as his tongue reached into her steamy folds.

"Oh, Tony," she sighed as his tongue began to explore her center.

His laughter sent vibrations through his mouth and onto her clit where his mouth now had a persistent yet gentle sucking motion. By now her center was unbelievably wet and Tony could feel her begin to climb towards climax. Grinning, he pulled away from her and stood up, looking down into her lust darkened eyes.

"What are you doing?" she asked as she propped herself up on her elbows. He didn't reply, just pulled his own flannel pajama pants down, never breaking eye contact with her. He then crawled back onto the bed, his body propped over her.

"Ready?" he asked gently, not wanting to hurt her in any way, emotionally or physically.

"I have been ready," she smiled back at him.

Gently, Tony slid his throbbing erection into her, shuddering when her heat enveloped him. As he began to thrust gently into her, the two of them never broke eye contact.

As his thrusts began to speed up and grow more intense, Tony could feel his orgasm building as well as her own.

"Tony," she sighed after a few more minutes of steady thrusting, "I am almost there."

"I know, sweet cheeks," he smiled, "me too," he added.

"Let me on top," she whispered as she propped herself up onto her elbows.

"You got it," he groaned as he wrapped his arms around her and rolled the two of them over, moving her on top of him, his erection still buried deep inside of her.

Now that she was on top, Ziva began to move her body up and down, using her new position to her full advantage. Her movements sped up as he groans grew louder, alerting Tony to the closeness of her climax.

"Zi," Tony groaned as her movements continued to grow more frantic. "I'm so close but I want you to be right there with me."

Unable to form coherent sentences, Ziva simply took Tony's hand in hers and led it to her mound, heat radiating from it. Taking her hint, Tony instinctively found her sensitive clit and began to rub it in tiny circles, delighting in the sounds she began to create.

Suddenly, Ziva's entire body tensed as her orgasm took control of her body, tremors shaking her small frame. The minute he felt her walls clench around him, Tony's own orgasm also took control and he began to spurt his warm come into her. He continued to rub gently on her clit, wanting to prolong her pleasure as long as possible. When he felt the last of her tremors begin to subside, he took his hand away from her mound and used it to pull her head back down to his, her hair forming a curtain around their faces.

"Still hate thunderstorms?" he laughed as he pressed his lips to her, his softening erection popping from her still quivering center.

Ziva simply laughed as she rolled off of him and snuggled up next to him, using her feet to once again reach for the covers and bring them to arm's reach to cover her and Tony's bodies.

"I'm not sure which one I love more, actually," she smiled, "thunderstorms or you."

* * *

**Yay for smut! HeeHeeHee**

**There will be more plot in the next few chapters, I promise. Wedding plans, bonding between Abby and Ziva and McGee and Tony and just everyone on the team! Vance even might take part! XD**

**Lemme know what you wanna see!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Not much of an Author's Note.**

**My Graduation ceremony is Sunday and I get to give a speech, so my mind has been a little all over the place with excitement and nerves and insanity. Thus, these chapters may also be a little all over the place with excitement and nerves and insanity. XD**

**But I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"_Still hate thunderstorms?" he laughed as he pressed his lips to her, his softening erection popping from her still quivering center._

_Ziva simply laughed as she rolled off of him and snuggled up next to him, using her feet to once again reach for the covers and bring them to arm's reach to cover her and Tony's bodies. _

"_I'm not sure which one I love more, actually," she smiled, "thunderstorms or you."_

* * *

"Hello, may I speak with Director Vance, please?"

Tony emerged from the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair still wet, to find Ziva still in her own pajamas and standing in front of the window in their living room.

"Hello, Director Vance," she said as she fiddled with a few strands of her hair, a nervous habit Tony had come to love. "This is Ziva David."

"_Agent David, I was just thinking about you."_

Ziva's heart began to race, her mind going to the countless negative reasons Vance would be thinking of her.

"You were?" she asked, her voice wavering.

"_Yes. I got the feeling you would be calling me."_

"Yes," Ziva replied. "I am assuming you have been informed about the events that took place yesterday?"

"_I have."_

"Well," she began, unsure as to how to continue. "I think it would be best if perhaps I took a few extra days off. To nail my head on straight, yes?"

Tony laughed at her mistaken idiom and he assumed Vance had done the same.

"_Screw your head on straight, Agent David."_

"I will make note of that," she said as she began to pace a small path in front of the window.

"_Well, I have your file open in front of me and it seems that you have taken very few sick or personal days. Almost none, actually."_

"I do not like missing work," she replied.

"_You and I both. And I agree that perhaps it is best if you take some personal days. Maybe meet with Lisa Johnson again."_

Ziva rolled her eyes slightly when Vance mentioned her therapist, yet she continued to listen intently.

"_It is Thursday now. How about you take today, tomorrow, and next week off? Come back next Monday relaxed and ready for action."_

"That is quite a long time," she said. "Are you sure Gibbs will not mind?"

"_I think he'll understand."_

"Thank you, Director Vance," Ziva smiled.

"_Anytime, Agent David. I will see you next Monday."_

"I will see you then," she finished.

"_And Agent David?"_

"Yes?"

"_Be safe."_

"I will try my hardest, Director," she said. "I will see you later."

As Ziva flipped her cell phone shut, she turned around to see Tony watching her. She felt a tug of desire low in her belly when she saw him standing there in nothing but a towel.

"What was that all about?" he asked.

"I called Director Vance and asked him if I could take a few personal days. He looked in my file and, since I have not taken many days off, is allowing me to take a few days to recuperate from…everything."

"How long?" Tony replied, taking a few steps towards her.

"He has given me until next Monday," she replied. "He agreed that I could use a few days off and suggested that I go meet with Lisa again."

"I'll miss you," he said as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Tony," she laughed as his wet hair dripped onto her. "I will be right here when you get home."

"I know, but I won't be able to look up from my computer and see your gorgeous face," he smiled.

"I am sorry," she said. "I can call him back and tell him I do not need as many days off."

"Uh-uh," he said. "I'm glad you're taking a week off. "

"You are?" she asked as she looked up at him, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Yup," he grinned. "It means you starting to care about yourself as much as I do."

"Thanks to you," she smiled as she reached up and placed a kiss on his lips. "I owe you," she grinned devilishly against his lips as her hand snaked down the front of his towel, stroking him gently.

* * *

As this was Ziva's first true personal day, she spent the first half trying to figure out what she should do. Finally, after flipping through the television channels, she jumped from the couch, sure as to what she was going to do. She grabbed her scarf and jacket and made her way to her car, anxious to arrive at her destination.

When she arrived at that destination, she pulled her jacket closer to her body to protect her from the cold and made her way into the building she has once frequented so often.

"Shalom, Rabbi," she said as she extended her hand to the man she had grown close to her past few years in America.

"Ziva, my dear, it has been far too long," the man smiled as he took her hand and also gave her a brief kiss on the cheek.

"Yes," she sighed. "Many things have taken place, causing synagogue to be the last thing on my mind, as much as I do not like to say that."

"Ah, it is understandable. As long as you still hold your beliefs close to your heart, synagogue need not worry you. But I am assuming you are here to talk about something more specific than this."

"I am," she smiled. "Perhaps we could go to your office and talk?"

"Of course," the Rabbi smiled, taking Ziva's arm and guiding her to his office. The two made idle chit chat as they walked, him speaking of his family and her expressing her desire to see his children once again, something she had not done since she first moved to America and began to attend synagogue.

One the two were sitting comfortably in his office, a tea cup in each of their hands, Ziva began to talk about the true reason she came.

"I am getting married, Rabbi," she said, looking up from her tea cup to examine his reaction.

"Ziva!" he exclaimed, "mazel tov, my dear. Congratulations!" he added as he reached for her hand and looked at the engagement ring that adorned her finger. "He has superb taste, both in rings and in women," he said as he smiled up at Ziva, his eyes twinkling.

"Thank you," she blushed. "His name is Tony."

"Ah, yes, I remember him," he smiled. "You spoke of him often, if I am not mistaken. DiNozzo, yes?"

"That is him," she replied. "I went through some difficult things this past year and Tony was there for me through them all. I suppose we, as you would say, had some sense smacked into us and made us realize just how perfect we are for one another."

"I did say that, didn't I?" he laughed.

"Yes," she laughed with him. "You did."

"And what is it you wish to discuss with me about Tony?"

Ziva took a deep breath, unsure as to how to bring the topic up.

"We have not begun to discuss the wedding, yet I know that Tony wants a very traditional wedding. The white gown, personal vows, cans attached to the car as we drive to our honeymoon."

The Rabbi laughed.

"And what is wrong with that?"

"I am confused. I was raised to always marry a practical Jewish man and have a traditional Jewish wedding, yet I do not want to make this wedding all about me. The wedding is going to be small and I do not want to make the others uncomfortable with all of the Jewish traditions."

"Have I ever told you of my wedding?" he asked. Ziva couldn't help but smile at the way the Rabbi reminded her of Ducky.

"No, I do not believe so," Ziva replied.

"I was in the same situation that you are in now. My wife was raised a practicing Catholic and I was raised strictly Jewish. When we were planning the wedding, it caused quite a stir," he smiled.

"What did you do?" she asked, taking a sip of her tea.

"Compromise," he smiled. "We had a very traditional ceremony, much as your Tony wants. She bought a flowing white gown and was walked down the aisle by her father. We wrote our own vows and had rice thrown at us as we left the church," he laughed. As he spoke, he reached for a book on his desk and handing it to Ziva. "These are some of the photos of the ceremony and of the reception."

"How did you incorporate your faith into it?" Ziva questioned as she looked at the photos, smiling at the brightness of the Rabbi's face.

"There is a traditional Israeli wedding song," he began as he stood up and walked to his record player. "This thing is ancient and outdated, yet the song sounds simply beautiful on it," he said as he placed the needle on the record.

The music began and Ziva smiled as she recognized the tune. She had watched her parent's wedding video countless times and always found herself entranced by the song they danced to as their first dance as husband and wife.

"I recognize this!" she smiled as she watched the Rabbi begin to sway to the music.

"Yes. This was the song Allison and I danced to. It is our song, one could say."

"It is beautiful…" Ziva said as she took her last sip of tea.

"Yes…Yes it is."

The clock began to chime, signifying 3:00 pm.

"Oh my word!" The Rabbi exclaimed, pulling the needle off of the record. "Is it three o'clock already?"

"I am sorry, Rabbi," Ziva said as she pulled her coat on. "I did not mean to intrude. You should have let me know that you had previous plans. I would have called."

The Rabbi simply laughed. "You never need to call me, my dear Ziva. My door is always open for you. But today is our wedding anniversary and we have plans to head out of town this evening."

For some reason, hearing that it was their wedding anniversary brought a smile to Ziva's face. The Rabbi pulled his coat on and took Ziva's arm in his, walking them out of the synagogue.

"Congratulations, Rabbi," she smiled as she placed a gentle kiss on each of his cheeks when they reached the exit. "She is a lucky woman," she added with a laugh.

"Call me next week, Zivaleh," he replied. "I would like to restart our weekly get togethers."

"I will do that," Ziva smiled as she watched him get into his car and drive off.

* * *

Ziva was already snuggled deeply under the blankets when Tony got home. He had been forced to stay at the Navy Yard until well past midnight and was anxious to get home to see how Ziva had managed her first true personal day.

"Ziva?" he whispered as he kicked off his shoes and threw his coat over the back of the couch. Hearing no response, he tip toed into their bedroom and smiled when he saw her body covered by a massive mountain of comforters and quilts.

He slowly pulled his clothes off and began to search his dresser drawers to find his pajamas, but his efforts were fruitless. Turning towards the closet, he saw Ziva's foot sticking out from under the covers. He had to stifle his laugh when he saw his orange Ohio State sweatpants surrounding her legs and he only assumed that his shirt had also been commandeered by her.

Shaking his head, he simply left his boxers on and pulled back the covers, quickly slipping under them. He held his breath and froze when the bed creaked, yet finally relaxed onto his side, sighing when Ziva wasn't roused from her slumber.

"You are terrible at being sneaky," she whispered.

"I didn't mean to wake you," he whispered back. He took his arm and wrapped it around her middle, pulling her close to him. He never got over just how perfectly her body molded with his and he smiled when she rested her hand on his, her thumb stroking the back of his hand.

"How was today?" she asked as her and Tony's breathing became in synch.

"Long. Exhausting. Lonely," he replied. "How was your's?"

It seemed silly to Tony, asking about each other's days as if they were the most normal couple in the world. He knew they were the farthest this from, yet he somehow loved the feeling of normalcy he felt at that moment.

"I went to the synagogue," she answered, her voice still soft.

"Why'd ya go there?" he asked softly.

"I spoke with my Rabbi about…the wedding," she replied, unsure as to how Tony would feel about her simply going ahead with discussing it without him.

A grin formed on his face when she said that word. "I still can't believe you're going to be my wife," he whispered in her ear as he kissed her neck. "Why did you need to go to the Rabbi?"

"I was confused as to how we should plan the wedding. I know you have always loved the traditional weddings, yet part of me still wants to keep some aspect of Judaism in it."

"Oh, Zi," Tony sighed, "I didn't even think of that."

"Actually, the Rabbi was in the same position we are in now. He suggested that we have the traditional ceremony, yet when we dance our first dance as husband and wife, we do it to an Israeli wedding song. My parents danced to it and I have loved it ever since I was little."

Just as Tony opened his mouth to speak, Ziva flipped onto her other side to face Tony directly. "You do not have to do it, though. I simply thought it was a good idea because most couples dance to 'their song,' yet I was not sure if we had a song, so I thought it would be a good compromise to dance to the Israeli song. But if you do not want to do it, that will be fine. We will just have to pick our song and then-"

Tony placed a finger against her lips, effectively stopping her from speaking.

"One," he said, "I think it is a perfect idea." He gently kissed her lips, pulling away to finish his thoughts. "And two, we already have a song."

"We do?" she asked. "I do not recall…"

"It was playing when we went out to dinner at the mansion. When I gave you _Wicked._"

Ziva smiled, remembering the song that was playing softly in the background as they enjoyed their first true date.

"Maybe it would be best if you hummed a bit of it, perhaps sang a few lines?" she grinned as she relaxed her head against his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

* * *

**I have a song in mind, yet what do you guys think would be a cute song for the two of them?**

**Also, I'm not sure if there really is an Israeli wedding song, but this is fiction, right?**

**Reviews are Love!**


	14. Chapter 14

**I hope you guys enjoy these updates. I try to get them up as quickly as possible, but would guys prefer longer chapters a little more spaced out or are you guys liking these average length chapters updated every other day or so?**

**Enjoy!**

**Oh! And there's smut at the end. Smut of the smuttiest kind. HeeHeeHee**

* * *

_Ziva smiled, remembering the song that was playing softly in the background as they enjoyed their first true date. _

"_Maybe it would be best if you hummed a bit of it, perhaps sang a few lines?" she grinned as she relaxed her head against his chest, feeling his heartbeat. _

* * *

Tony laughed when she suggested he sing, but he did so anyways.

"Don't know how I lived without you," he began, his hand running through her hair. "Cuz every time that I get around you, I see the best of me inside your eyes-"

"You make me smile," Ziva interrupted, continuing to sing as Tony hummed along. "You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breath, shine like gold-"

"Buzz like a bee," Tony laughed. It was his favorite line in the song, and Ziva knew. As the last line of the chorus arrived, Ziva tilted her head to look up at her fiancée.

"You make me smile," they spoke in unison, all thoughts of tone or tune leaving their minds. Their eyes were speaking just as much as their words.

They laid there for a few more moments, never breaking eye contact yet never saying a word.

"Maybe we could have two songs?" Ziva suggested with a smile on her face.

"That would make me smile," he replied with a grin.

"I love you," she whispered as she placed a gentle kiss on his lips before resting her head once again on his chest, which Tony realized was her favorite place to be.

"I love you more," he whispered back and he closed his eyes and let sleep take over his body.

Over the next few days, their schedule remained very much the same. Tony would work late, often coming in just before midnight, coming home to find Ziva sound asleep. She would often leave him notes on the fridge where she knew he would go to eat a late night dinner. The notes ranged from how her day to went to print outs of details she was thinking of for the wedding.

This particular night, Wednesday, she had left him a single sheet of paper. It was one she had printed form her laptop earlier that day and on it was a photo of an old cobblestone mansion. As far as mansions went, it was on the smaller side, yet it was still elegant. On one side of the mansion was a garden, complete with a fountain.

Tony smiled as he looked over the photos arranged on the page, sitting down at the table with a bowl of soup he had put in the microwave. Flipping the page over, he read what Ziva had written in her elegant script handwriting.

_I know we could not decide on an indoor wedding or outdoor, so perhaps this could work? Outdoor ceremony, indoor reception? I think it could work and the price is not bad. But it is up to you._

_I love you,_

_Ziva_

Tony couldn't help but smile. She always ended her letters with 'I love you,' even though she knew he would always be there for her to say it to him in person. He looked over the details for a few more minutes, finishing his soup before putting it in the dishwasher and tip toeing into their room.

By this time he knew that Ziva would be wearing his pajamas, so he simply pulled off his clothes and crawled into bed in his boxers. Instinctively, Ziva felt the bed shift and she rolled over to snuggle up next to him. She didn't say anything, something she always did, so Tony knew that she was still asleep.

"I love you, Ziva David," he whispered as he closed his eyes and relaxed his body.

"David-DiNozzo," a sleepy Ziva muttered. "Now sleep," she commanded as she tangled her legs with his, wanting to be as close to him as possible.

* * *

"So," Ziva began as she continued to prepare breakfast for the two of them. "Did you get the note I left for you last night?"

"Yep," Tony replied as he reached around Ziva to pour himself a cup of the coffee she had just brewed. He had already gotten dressed for work, yet she was still wearing his oversized pajamas.

"And…" she trailed off, flipping the chocolate chip pancakes she had decided to make for Tony.

"I have the most intelligent fiancée ever," he smiled as he set his coffee cup down and wrapped his arms around her middle from behind her.

"Why do you say that?" she smiled as she breathed in the scent of his aftershave.

"It's pretty much perfect."

"I take it you think it is worth looking into further?" Ziva replied as she flipped the pancakes onto a plate and spun around to face Tony.

"I think you should call the place and make the reservations," he grinned as he took the plate of pancakes from her hand and set it down on the counter so he could lean down and place a gentle kiss on her lips. The kiss soon began to grow more passionate, with both of the tongues battling for dominance in each other's mouth. When they finally pulled away, Ziva had a smile on her face.

"We have not even set a date yet," she laughed as she took his hand and led him to the table, setting the plate of pancakes down in front of him. She couldn't help but laugh harder when he began to scarf them down as if he were a small child.

"So let's pick one," he shrugged as he patted the chair next to him, beckoning her to sit next to him. "How hard can it be?" he smiled.

"Well…" she trailed off, biting her bottom lip slightly. "I have always wanted a fall wedding," she said. "But that is simply what I want. If you would not like one, we can pick a different time."

"Zi," Tony laughed as he pushed his now empty plate away from him. "When are you gonna get it through that ninja head of yours that I love you so, so much and that whatever makes you happy will make me happy?"

"I have been told I have a thick skull," she laughed.

"Well," Tony began as stood up and walked to the wall on which their calendar was hanging. Taking it down, he walked back to the table and sat back down. "Let's check and see what we can do about making your fall wedding dream come true," he laughed as he flipped to the later months of the year. Before Ziva even had the chance to look over the calendar, a huge grin had formed on Tony's face.

"What are you grinning about?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I think I have a date picked out that I wouldn't mind getting married on," he smiled. "And it's in the fall…"

"And what date would that be?"

Tony handed the calendar to Ziva and pointed to a day on the calendar, a childish grin covering his face?

"October 10?" she asked, her eyebrows slightly furrowed.

"Yep! Get it? October 10, 2010. 10/10/10."

"I like it," she laughed as she turned back to look at the calendar, her heart racing. "I think we have just picked out our wedding date," she said, slightly in awe.

"I think we did, sweet cheeks," Tony said as he stood up. "But if I don't get a move on soon, Gibbs might do some serious bodily harm to me and I might not live to reach our wedding day," he joked.

"You are right," she replied as she stood up and walked both of their plates to the sink and set them in there. "I will call the mansion today and see if our date works for them."

"I love you, Ziva," he said as he wrapped his arms around her waist. There was a sincerity in his voice that Ziva hadn't heard from any of her previous lovers and it made her heart flutter.

"And I love you, too, Tony," she smiled as she looked up at him.

"But do you get how much I love you, Zi?" he asked, his eyes slightly vulnerable.

"I think I do, yes. But, Tony, what has brought this up? Are you okay? Is there something I should know?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," he said with a small chuckle. "I just can't imagine where my life would be without you in it."

Rather than try and answer him, Ziva simply stood on her tiptoes and kissed him deeply, her arms snaking around his neck. She used her own tongue to part his lips, slipping her tongue into his mouth to mingle with his. As the kiss deepened, she felt his hands leave her hips and move to caress her ass. Grinning against his mouth, she let out a small gasp when she felt him pick her up by her bottom and guide her to their couch.

He set her down on the couch and made quick work of pulling his sweatpants off of her body, never breaking the kiss. He fumbled with his belt buckle, yet managed to get it undone in record time and push both his pants and boxers to the floor.

"Tony," she gasped when she finally pulled away from the kiss to take in the oxygen she had been deprived of. Her face was flushed and her pupils were dilated with desire. "Gibbs will kill you if you are late," she breathed.

"But what a way to go," he sighed as he positioned himself at her entrance.

"In that case," she grinned as she managed to wiggle out from beneath him and maneuver her way on top of him. "I think I will like this position better," she said as she sank down onto his throbbing erection.

"Oh, God, Ziva," Tony groaned as he felt her heat envelop in. No matter how many times they made love, Ziva was always tight and it made Tony that much more turned on. "You're so tight, baby."

"And you are so big," she laughed in his ear as she began to move her body up and down. Soon her mouth returned to his and they were engrossed in yet another passionate kiss as Ziva continued to bounce up and down on him.

"Zi, baby, I'm gonna come soon," he grunted as he grabbed her hips and began to meet her up and down motions with deep thrusts.

"Yes. Right there, Tony," she cried as her own climax grew closer. "Right. There." she gasped as he thrust into her one final time and held his position deep inside of her as his warm come spurted into her tight walls.

Feeling him come inside of her pushed Ziva over the edge and she let out a scream which Tony quickly stifled with his mouth over hers. The kiss continued as Ziva's walls continued to twitch around Tony's softening erection. When the last of her orgasmic tremors stopped, she opened her eyes to see Tony grinning at her.

"I really should get going," he laughed as she rolled off of him, her breathing rapid.

"Yes," she breathed, "you should."

Shaking his head, he stood up and pulled his clothing back on, making sure there were no obvious signs that he had just had incredible sex with his fiancée.

"Love you, sweet cheeks," he said as he placed a quick kiss on her lips.

"And I love you, too, fuzzy bear," she replied as she watched him grab his keys and jog out the door, praying that Gibbs would be in a forgiving mood.

* * *

**The song is 'Smile' by Uncle Kracker.**

**Reviews, please!**


	15. Chapter 15

**I am now officially a high school graduate! My hat totally flew off during my speech, but I'm pretty sure I did great. Apparently someone commented that it was the best commencement speech they've heard. Yay for me!**

**Anyways, I've skipped ahead quite a bit. I didn't wanna drag this on forever, seeing as the wedding would have been 8 months away if I had stayed with the timeline set in the last chapter. Hope you don't mind. ^_^**

**And congrats to undercovergirl05 for leaving my 100th Review for this story. Look for her one shot coming soon!**

* * *

_Shaking his head, he stood up and pulled his clothes back on, making sure there were no obvious signs that he had just had incredible sex with his fiancée._

_"Love you, sweet cheeks," he said as he placed a quick kiss on her lips._

_"And I love you too, fuzzy bear," she replied as she watched him grab his keys and jogged out the door, praying Gibbs would be in a forgiving mood._

* * *

The wedding was just a month away and Ziva had yet to find a dress. She had searched online for styles she thought would flatter her, yet she was unable to find any that she fell in love with. She had tried going to a few bridal stores, yet when she walked in alone, the employees tended to ignore her. She was just about to give up and simply order one from an internet site that she thought looked decent on the model. Yet Abby wouldn't allow it. When Ziva simply shrugged it off, saying that she did not want to make a big deal out of the dress, Abby grabbed her by the shoulders, her eyes wide.

"Ziva David! You absolutely cannot simply choose a dress because it looks decent on a model! You're supposed to go to the store with your mother and maid of honor and try on a dozen dresses and everyone is supposed to get teary eyed when you try on THE dress and you're supposed to look like a princess!"

"I do not have a mother, Abby," Ziva said softly.

"Oh my gosh, Ziva," Abby said as she clapped a hand over her mouth. "I am so sorry. I don't know what on earth I was thinking. I cannot believe I just said that!"

"It is fine, Abby," Ziva smiled as Abby began her familiar ranting. "But I do have a maid of honor, yes?" she smiled.

"Really? Who'd you ask?" Abby asked, giddiness filling her voice.

"I was hoping you would do it," Ziva replied, a smile forming on her face when she saw the way Abby's face lit up.

"Of course, of course, of course!" Abby squealed as she began to jump up and down and clap her hands together. "We'll go dress shopping this weekend!"

Ziva couldn't help but smiled at the excitement her friend was showing at the thought of going shopping together. "I will call you tonight so we can work out details, yes?" Ziva asked as she watched Abby return to work, her excitement still evident on her face.

"Yes! The nuns are on a retreat, so we could even make a weekend out of it!"

"I would like that," Ziva grinned. "I will see you then," she added as she turned and walked from the lab.

The dress was one of the last things to be done for the wedding. The mansion was booked, the cake and food ordered, and they had even found someone who would do the ceremony despite their differences in religion. The only things left were the dress, the honeymoon, and the event itself. And for Ziva, just knowing that the dress was about to be taken care of was making her heart flutter. And just as the elevator doors dinged open, her heart began to flutter even more as she saw Tony standing in it.

"Hey," he smiled.

"Abby is not yet done with her test results, if that is what you were coming down here for," she replied, a smirk on her lips.

"Then it looks like we've got some time to kill," Tony grinned as he took Ziva's hand and pulled her into the elevator. Just as the doors closed, her pulled her to him and captured her lips with his in a passionate kiss. He flipped the switch as he gently pressed Ziva up against the wall and continued to explore her mouth with his tongue. His hands were on her hips and he had pulled her flush against his body, her arms snaking around his neck.

Tony pulled his lips away from hers, breathing hard as he rested his forehead against hers.

"I don't think I'll ever get over how wonderful you taste," he breathed, grinning when he saw her roll her eyes.

"Just like I'll never get over how wonderful of a kisser you are," she replied as she once again crashed her lips with his, her hands running through his short hair. They continued their kiss until their need for oxygen surpassed their need for each other.

"Guess what," Ziva smiled as she straightened her clothing and flipped the switch back on.

"What?" Tony asked as he took her hand in his, lacing their fingers together.

"In exactly one month we will be kissing as Mr. and Mrs. DiNozzo, not as Agents DiNozzo and David," she grinned.

"And I absolutely cannot wait for that," Tony replied as he leaned over and kissed her one last time before the elevator doors opened and they were greeted with the voice of their boss demanding that they gas the truck.

* * *

"Abby..." Ziva trailed off as she stared at herself in the dressing room mirror. The dressing room was extremely large, almost the size of the small dorm room she had during her college years.

"What?" Abby asked as she took a large sip of her Caf Pow! "Don't tell me you love this one! Trying on a dozen dresses is half the fun!"

"No, I do not think this is the one," Ziva said as she opened the door to the large dressing room.

"Awww, Ziva!" Abby squealed as she set her Caf Pow! down and took a step into the dressing room. The dress was a classic ball gown style, with a strapless fitted bodice and a full skirt made of a lacey material. "You look like such a princess!"

"No," Ziva said shaking her head, "I do not."

"What do you mean?"

"Shut the door," Ziva said, nodding her head towards the dressing room door that was wide open.

"Oh...Kay..." Abby said, confusion filling her voice. "What's wrong?"

Ziva downcast her eyes to look at the floor as she turned around. She clenched her eyes shut as she heard the gasp that escaped Abby's mouth.

"Ziva..." Abby sighed as she reached out to gently trace one of the scars that covered Ziva's back. "Are these-"

"From Somalia? Yes," Ziva replied, trying her hardest not to flinch as Abby continued to trace the fading scars on her back. "Perhaps a dress with a back would be better for me to wear on my wedding day."

"Who's gonna be at the wedding?" Abby asked as she walked Ziva over to the mirror and stood next to her, examining the gown in the full length mirror.

"Just the team; Gibbs, Ducky, McGee, Vance and his family, Palmer, and you. Neither Tony nor I have family we wish to invite or that we think would actually come. Why do you ask?"

"Because," Abby said as she began to mess with Ziva's hair, imitating different hairstyles, "everyone who's going to be at the wedding knows what happened there. We may not know specifics, but we know what that jerk Saleem did to you."

"But you all have not seen the scars," Ziva said softly.

"So? Do you honestly think that a few scars are gonna change how we feel about you? You're still the same Ziva that we know and love and, if you even think that our opinion of you would change because of these scars, your ninja senses are seriously disturbed."

Ziva laughed. She had no idea how to respond to Abby's ninja senses comment, so she simply continued to look into her reflection.

"This dress is too poofy," she said. "I veto it."

"Now we're getting somewhere!" Abby grinned as she reached down and took a slurp of her Caf-Pow! "Try this one on next!" she smiled as she held a gown out to Ziva. Laughing, Ziva took the dress and hung it up on the hook in front of her.

"You do not have to leave," Ziva said as she saw Abby reach for the handle. "I do not enjoy parading around and I will probably need your help getting in and out of the dresses anyways."

"Okie dokie!" Abby grinned as she reached over and unzipped the dress Ziva was currently in. "I'm so excited," she squealed as Ziva began to pull on the second gown. "You're going to look gorgeous! Your color scheme is blue, right? Because I saw the most gorgeous bridesmaid dress out in the hallway and we could totally try on dresses together!"

"Go grab the dress, Abby," Ziva said as she shook her head.

Abby quickly slipped out of the dressing room as Ziva continued to pull the gown onto her body. Looking in the mirror, her stomach flipped. She knew Abby wanted her to try on a dozen dresses, yet when she looked into the mirror, she was almost positive she wanted to walk down the aisle in this dress. Her trance was broken when Abby knocked on the door. Opening the door, Ziva smiled as Abby bounded into the room, a cerulean dress in her arms.

"I'm not sure if this is the blue you had in mind, but I...Oh my god," Abby said as she turned to face Ziva. All thoughts of blue dresses flew from her mind as she saw Ziva standing in the middle of the room in a stunning dress. It was a halter top with sequins that adorned the strap around her neck. The neckline was deep, but still conservative enough to not be too revealing. After an empire waist accentuated Ziva's gorgeous figure, the dress flowed from her body, hugging her curves without being too clingy. It was not a satin material, nor was it simple lace. It was simply...Ziva.

"Do you like it?" Ziva asked, spinning around to face the full length mirror once again.

"I love it!" Abby smiled. "I wanna try on the maid of honor dress to see how we look together!"

As Abby pulled on the dress, Ziva couldn't take her eyes from her reflection. In her reflection appeared Abby, wearing the cerulean dress. It was tea length, hitting Abby just at her knees. Even though Abby wore her pigtails, the low braids she wore fitted in perfectly with the cap sleeves of the dress.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Abby asked as she stood next to Ziva and looked at their reflections in the mirror.

"The dress..." Ziva said dreamily. Abby had never expected Ziva to be a dress type of girl, yet it was evident that Ziva was in love with the gown she had on.

"What about it?"

"That, when I am in it, I feel gorgeous. I feel as though the scars do not matter in this dress."

"Your scars don't matter," Abby said as she once again began to lift Ziva's hair from her neck and try out styles; up or down, straight or curly, and others.

"Yes, but for the first time, I truly believe that," Ziva smiled.

"So..." Abby trailed off, the grin on her face growing to expansive proportions. "Is this the dress?"

Ziva's grin grew to the same size as Abby's, both of their eyes sparkling.

"Yes," she smiled. "This is the dress."

"Yay!" Abby squealed as she engulfed Ziva in a giant hug.

"And I think that is your dress," Ziva said as she gestured to the one Abby was wearing.

"Double yay!" Abby laughed as she hugged Ziva once again, giggling when she felt Ziva squeeze her right back.

* * *

"How was dress shopping with Abby?" Tony asked when Ziva entered the apartment without any sign of a dress in her arms. "Didn't find anything?" he asked as he stepped from the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Ziva's waist, pulling her against his body.

"I did," she smiled as she kissed him gently.

"Where is it?" he asked. "Can I see it?" he added with his typical childish grin.

"I gave it to Abby to keep to protect it from wandering eyes," she emphasized as she escaped from his embrace. "I am starving, what is for dinner?"

"Awww, come on!" Tony whined. "Can't I just have a little hint about the dress?

"Nope," Ziva smiled as she pulled the lid off of a pot and grinned, seeing the macaroni and cheese that Tony knew she loved.

"Meanie," Tony pouted.

"I am a meanie, huh?" she asked as she walked over to Tony and pressed her body to his. "Would a meanie do this?" she asked as she gently squeezed him through his jeans. "Or this?" she laughed as she began to pepper his neck with kisses, nipping at his earlobe.

"Only if that meanie doesn't continue those actions," he said with a soft moan.

"Oh, I will," she whispered seductively in his ear. "After dinner," she added as she gave him another gentle squeeze and pulled away to set the table.

Tony groaned. "You're killin' me, ninja. And, by the way, you got something in the mail today. It's in a manila envelope on the counter."

Furrowing her eyebrows, Ziva finished setting the table and walked to the counter to look at the envelope. There was no return address, so she was cautious as she opened it. When she did, she wished she hadn't. There was a small piece of paper with elegant handwriting on it; handwriting Ziva knew.

_My dearest Zivaleh,_

_Imagine my surprise when I heard my daughter was getting married and, not only was I not invited, but I had no idea. I know you love Anthony very much and I hope he makes you happy. And I hope this makes you happy as well. Send everyone at NCIS my love,_

_Eli_

"Who's it from?" Tony asked as he stepped over to where Ziva was standing, obvious emotion straining against her Mossad facade.

"My father," she said softly.

"What'd did he need to send to you in a giant manila envelope?"

"Tickets for our honeymoon," she said with a shake of her head.

"Sweet! Daddy David isn't such a jack ass anymore! Where are going?" he asked.

"Israel," Ziva said as she shoved the plane tickets into Tony's hand and walked away, the sound of the shower reaching Tony's ears in moments.

* * *

**You guys honestly didn't think Eli wasn't gonna make an appearance, did ya?**

**Anyways, you know the drill! Review with any ideas!**

**Oh! And I've got two one shots in the works. One for my undercovergirl05 and one just for fun. The one that I'm writing just for fun will probably be a two shot, but I'm not sure. **

**Reviews rock my face off!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Ughhhhh. I went to the dentist today. No cavities, but I need something called a Bite Splint while I sleep cuz' apparently I clench my teeth while I sleep. The dentists were super nice and really funny and I just wanted to give them a hug, but they're dentists, so...Yeah. No hugs for them. XD**

**And someone mentioned that I should post a photo of Ziva's dress, but I don't have one. LoL I just made the dress design up in my head. Maybe I'll try and find one online that matches the description, but you cans can use your imaginations, right? I do have a photo of the mansion and Ziva's wedding ring if you would like me to post those links on my profile. The mansion is where we had our Prom this year. ^_^**

**Okay, I just want to say that as I'm typing this, one of the categories on Jepoardy in Israel and I just saw a travel commercial for Israel. Anyone wanna go with me?**

* * *

_"Tickets for our honeymoon," she said with a shake of her head. _

_"Sweet! Daddy David isn't such a jack ass anymore! Where are going?" he asked. _

_"Israel," Ziva said as she shoved the plane tickets into Tony's hand and walked away, the sound of the shower reaching Tony's ears in moments._

* * *

"Now I know why you have such gorgeous hair," Tony said as he stepped into the shower behind Ziva and moved to stand under the spray of water with her, his arms wrapping around her middle.

"And why is that?" Ziva asked as she continued to angrily lather the shampoo into her scalp.

"Because whenever you get upset," he replied as he moved his hands up to stop her angry motions and replace them with his own gentle minstrations on her scalp, "you take a shower to help you relax."

"It is like Gibbs and his boat and bourban or Abby and her bowling," she said. "It is calming and allows me to think."

"Yeah, but the only difference is that their relaxation techniques don't make them smell deliciously like pomegranate."

Ziva let out what sounded like a laugh, yet Tony wasn't sure if it was in fact a laugh or if it was a sob.

"How can you be so calm, Tony?" Ziva asked as she spun around to rinse her hair. "Eli is trying to ruin our honeymoon. He is trying to ruin the best thing that has happened to me in years. He is trying-"

"To see his daughter," Tony finished as he gently placed a finger to her lips. "Maybe this time he doesn't have an ulterior motive. Maybe almost losing you made him wanna stop being such an ass and try to fix the shitty mess he ma

This time Tony knew that the sound she made was a laugh.

"Have you met Eli?" she snorted. "He always has an ulterior motive. He sent us two first class tickets to Israel. What type of father would send his daughter on a suicide mission and then pay for a honeymoon?"

"You make a good point there," Tony said, laughing when she held out the bottle of conditioner to him. "You want me to do this again?" he joked, making references to the countless times her had done her hair in the shower.

"You have magical fingers," she smirked before turning around, sighing when his hands began to massage her scalp.

"So I've been told," he replied as he ran his fingers through her hair. His mind was racing with thoughts of Eli. He told Ziva that perhaps he didn't have an ulterior motive, yet he himself didn't believe that. He agreed with her when she said that it seemed off that he would send her on a suicide mission and then send her ticktets for her honeymoon.

"Tony?"

"Huh?" he said, Ziva's voice shaking him from his reviere. "Sorry, I guess I spaced out for a sec there." He looked down to see that his hands had stopped massaging conditioner into her scalp and that she had moved to rinse her hair.

"You were thinking about Eli," she stated, as though it were fact.

"Yeah..." he sighed as he reached behind her and shut the water off.

Exiting the shower, Tony pulled his thick black terry cloth robe on and held Ziva's out for her, allowing her to slip into it. He took her hand in his and walked with her to the couch, not bothering to fully dry themselves or pull on pajamas. Tony sat down on the couch and extended his legs to rest on the table in front of it. He held his arms open for Ziva to sit near him, yet she bit her lip and sat on the other end of the couch, pulling her knees to her chest. Trying not to show the hurt that he felt when she sat away from him, Tony decided to speak.

"What do you want to do?" he asked, looking towards her, only to find that she was staring down at her hands in her lap.

"I do not know," she shrugged. "What would you do?"

"I would like to think that I would do exactly what my heart wanted," he said, a shocking vulnerability and honesty in his voice.

"And what does your heart want now?" she asked, never taking her eyes from her lap.

"My heart wants to do whatever my beautiful fiancee's heart wants to do."

Ziva continued to sit there, letting Tony's words sink into her mind. She had been raised to be an intellectual person, to rely on the left side of her brain more than the right. Since moving to America and leaving Mossad, she learned focus on her emotional side more, yet she still found it difficult to articulate her emotions.

"I want to go," she said softly. "It sounds horrible, but I want to go and show my father just how happy I can be, even though he tried to have me killed. I want him to see everything that he is going to miss out on because of what he has done."

"So you wanna rub it in his face," Tony laughed.

"Is that completely horrible of me?" she asked as she looked up into his eyes.

"Seeing as I would do that and a hell of a lot more, I would say no, it's not completely horrible."

"That is good," she laughed with him. Even though her legs were still pulled to her chest, Tony noticed that she wasn't as guarded as she had been only minutes before.

"I've got an idea," she said as he reached over and took one of her hands in his.

"And...?"

"We go to Israel and shove it in Daddy David's face that we're happy and he can't do a damn thing about it. We wave it around that, try as he might, he can't come close to us anymore. After that, you show me all the things that you love about Tel Aviv and Israel and all the little places from your childhood I've weasled out of you. Then we hop another plane and fly to some other exotic location of our choice for the rest of our hot and steamy honeymoon," he said, pulling her closer to emphasize the last few words.

Grinning as his playful tugs, Ziva scooted over to him and leaned against him, snuggling into the large fluffy robe he wore.

"When did you get so smart?" she laughed.

"I take offence to that, sweet cheeks," he said, feigning hurt.

"We should go to bed," Ziva smiled as she stood up, still holding his hand.

When they reached their bedroom, Tony reached for the pair of pajamas he had purchased when he realized Ziva wouldn't be giving him his Ohio State sweats back.

"Don't," she said as she placed her hand on his, stopping him from pulling them entirely from the drawer.

"And why is that?" Tony asked as he turned to face her, grinning when he saw that she had taken off her fluffy robe and had replaced it with nothing, leaving her entirely nude.

"Because," she said as she walked to the bed with him and pulled the covers over both of their bodies and moved as close to him and possible.

"Because why?" Tony laughed as he pulled her towards him, tangling their legs together to feel her entire body.

"I want to feel you," she whispered softly as a tear slipped from her eye. "Just feel you..."

* * *

Tony said to Ziva that the months leading up to the wedding would be the longest of his life, yet for Ziva they flew by quickly. Cliche as she thought it was, Ziva felt as though the previous weeks had flown by in the blink of an eye and she was nowhere near as prepared as she should be to get married. Yet she found herself standing in a bedroom on the second floor of a mansion as one of Abby's nuns fiddled with her hair.

"What does your dress look like again, dear?"

"Abby should be here," Ziva said, the nerves evident in her voice. Abby was bringing both her maid of honor dress and Ziva's dress, yet she was nowhere to be found.

"She will be," the nun said as she placed a calming hand on Ziva's shoulders. "Perhaps her hearse broke down again."

Ziva simply nodded her head as she returned her gaze to her reflection in the vanity.

"I'm here!" Abby cried as she burst through the door, two dress bags in hand. "I am so sorry I'm late, Ziva!" she said as she threw the dresses into the hands of a nun and ran over to Ziva to wrap her arms around her. "My hearse got a flat and then I realized I forgot something at home so I had to go back, but I'm here!"

Ziva couldn't help but laugh as she was wrapped in Abby's embrace.

"What did you forget at home?" she asked as she pulled a chair up next to her for Abby to sit on.

"This," Abby smiled as she pulled a small box from her purse.

Ziva looked at her questioningly, yet took the box and gingerly opened it. She gasped when she saw the delicate diamond earings lying in the box. They were dangling earrings with three diamonds hanging down, going from biggest to smallest.

"Abby, these are gorgeous," she breathed as she looked at her friend. "You will let me wear these?" she asked.

"Duh! You need something borrowed!"

Ziva looked up from the earrings to Abby, a confused look on her face.

"Don't tell me you've never heard of the Wedding Day Rhyme, Ziva," Abby gasped.

"Ummm. I do not think so," Ziva replied.

"On your wedding day, it is essential that you have four things. Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. And the dress doesn't count!"

Ziva raised an eyebrow at Abby, yet couldn't help it when the two of them began to laugh.

"Well," Ziva began, "I have someing borrowed," she said as she gestured to the earrings sitting on the vanity, "and something blue that you gave me last night," she laughed, picking up the royal blue garter that Abby had given her the night before. "Now all we need is something old and something new."

"Let's figure that out after we've got her all dolled up," one of the nuns said. "Now tell me again what your dress looks like?"

* * *

"Man, boss," Tony said as he flopped down onto the bed in the room he had chosen to get ready in. "I don't know how you did this 4 times! I'm sweating buckets over here and the wedding is an hour away! God, I'm gonna look like such a creep!"

"Guess ya grow numb to it," Gibbs shrugged.

"You got the rings, right, Probie?" Tony asked as he sat up and looked to where McGee was sitting and playing a game on his iPhone.

"Yep," he replied.

"Lemme see 'em."

"Tony," McGee said as he looked up from his iPhone. "You've asked to see them half a dozen times. Trust me, I have the rings."

"Anthony," Ducky said as he placed a hand on Tony's shoulder. "There is no need to be nervous. You love Ziva just as she loves you. Even if this ceremony goes horribly awry, you two will still be in love and will still become Mr. and Mrs. DiNozzo."

"Yeah, well, I'd really prefer it if things didn't go horribly awry," Tony muttered as he moved to stand in front of the mirror and adjust his tuxedo.

Looking at his watch, Gibbs motioned to Ducky.

"Hey, Duck," he said as he reached onto the table and grabbed something. "Time to go get Ziva," he said.

"Hey, tell her I say I love her," Tony said as he spun to look at Ducky and Gibbs as they left the room.

"Tell her yourself when ya see her!" Gibbs called over his shoulder as he shut the door behind him.

"I have never seen that boy so nervous in all the years that I have known him."

"Yeah," Gibbs said as they reached the door where Ziva and Abby were stationed with a couple of the nuns. "That's what happens when you're in love."

"And you did that four times?" Ducky laughed.

"Nope, only one," Gibbs replied as he reached up and knocked on the door.

"Gibbs! Ducky!" Abby cried as she opened the door and flung her arms around the two men. "You guys look hott!"

The two men rolled their eyes as Abby ushered them into the room, ensuring Tony wasn't trying to sneak a peek at Ziva's dress.

"The nuns left to go to a retreat, so it's just the four of us in here," Abby said as she knocked on the door to the bathroom. "Ziva, are you ready? Gibbs and Ducky are here!"

"I am putting the earrings in," she called from behind the door. "I will be out in just a moment."

Hearing that, Abby spun to face the two men and whispered close to them. "You guys have the...things, right?"

Before either of them could answer, they heard the doorknob squeak and saw Ziva emerge from the bathroom in her complete wedding ensemble. Even though Abby had seen Ziva in her dress before, she was left speechless along with Gibbs and Ducky as Ziva stepped out into the middle of the room.

"Do you like it?" she asked nervously as she fiddled with the earrings Abby had loaned her.

"You look marvelous, my dear," Ducky smiled.

"Like a princess," Gibbs added with a wink.

"Thank you," she smiled. "But according to Abby I am missing something old and something new and we are set to walk down the aisle in no time."

"Well, I think I have something that would qualify as old," Ducky said as he stepped forward to Ziva. "My mother gave this to me before her dementia set it. She told me to pass it on to my daughter when she got married and, if I had a daughter, I would want her to be exactly like you." As he spoke, he pulled a brooch from his pocket. "May I?" he asked as he gestured to the side swept bun that laid on the nape of her neck.

"Of course," Ziva said as she bent her knees to allow Ducky to fasten the hair piece into her hair.

"Something old," he smiled as he turned her around to look into the mirror, smiling when he met her eyes.

"It is beautiful, thank you, Ducky," she smiled. She saw Gibbs approaching them in the reflection and met his eyes.

"And this is something new," Gibbs said as he reached around Ziva's neck and laid a necklace on her. She continued to maintain eye contact with him until he had finished fastening it and then she looked down to the necklace. It was a Star of David. It was similar to the one she once wore; it was gold and simple, yet there was one thing that caught her eye. On each of the six points there was a diamon set into the gold, glistening as they each caught the light.

"Gibbs..." she breathed as she moved her hand to touch the necklace. "This is perfect, thank you," she said as she spun around and threw her arms around him. "Thank you so, so much."

When she pulled away, she turned one last time to look at her reflection in the mirror. She did a quick once over of her entire outfit, yet her eyes kept coming back to the necklace that Gibbs had just put there. She hadn't worn a necklace since Saleem destroyed hers, yet this necklace felt as if it has always been there. As if it made her whole.

"Ready?" Ducky asked gently. "I see young Anthony standing there with Timothy and I think he is growing more nervous by the second."

Ziva took a deep breath and accepted the bouquet that Abby was holding out to her. "Ready," she smiled as she took both Gibbs and Ducky's arms and let Abby lead the way towards the fountain where the ceremony was to be held.

The second Tony heard the music start, his head flew up. He was greeted by the sight of Abby, wearing her cerulean blue tea length dress she had chosen with her hair in low pigtails as she slowly wlkaed down the walkway, winking at Tony as she walked to her designated spot. Just as he turned to look away from Abby, his heart skipped a beat when he saw Ziva walking towards him with Ducky and Gibbs on either side of her. As she walked, the two of them never broke eye contact and she had a grin on her face when she saw how he fidgeted with his cufflinks.

"Hey," he whispered when she stepped to stand in front of him.

"Hi," she whispered back.

The Rabbi-the one she had spoken to earlier about the wedding, Rabbi Shat-began the ceremony. Yet as he spoke, neither Tony nor Ziva paid much attention. They just continued to stare at each other, unable to hear anything but the pounding in their hearts. But an elbow from McGee snapped tony from his trance.

"I understand you have written your own vows?" Rabbi Shat asked again, smiling when he saw the way Tony and Ziva were looking at each other.

"Uh, yeah," Tony said. "Me first?" he asked, nervously looking to the Rabbi.

"Yes," he smiled.

"Cool," Tony began. He reached forward and took Ziva's hands in his own, smiling at her. "When we decided to write our own vows, I tried to make mine sound all eloquent and stuff, but that didn't really work," he laughed. "I know I've been known to have a bit of a phobia of commitment," he chuckled, "bu Ziva, I love you so, so, so much. I know our relationship hasn't been the most conventional or the easiest, but I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. Going through everything that we've gone through together has just made our love that much stronger and I know that, because of that, we can get through whatever crap life decides to throw at us. You mean so much to me and the thought of not having you in my life terrifies me. It's even freaking me out right now," he chuckled. Subtly taking her pinky in his, he looked up at her and winked. "I promise that I will love you forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever."

"You may place the ring on her finger," he smiled, watching as Tony's hands trembled as he slid the gold wedding band onto Ziva's finger. The Rabbi then nodded to Ziva, encouraging her to start.

"In mythology," she began, "it is believed that Zeus made man with four arms, four legs, two heads, etcetera. The two beings were attached back to back and they could not live without the other. They shared one soul," she smiled. "They were soulmates," she winked, hinting at the conversation they once had about the existance of soulmates. "Yet one day Zeus realized that those beings were far too powerful and he could not control them. Thus, he used his thunderbolts to split the two beings in half and send them to opposite ends of the earth, condemning them to live their entire lives searching for their other half. For their soulmate. Tony," she said, her voice threatening to crack, "you are my soul mate. We were living on opposite ends of the earth-Israel and Washington D.C-yet we managed to find each other. We managed to, without searching, find our soulmate. And now that I have you, I cannot imagine living a moment without you, Tony. You are my other half, my soul mate, my love. I promise that I will never ever, ever, ever, ever stop loving you," she grinned as she squeezed his pinky.

"You may place the ring on his finger," the Rabbi said, watching as Ziva also trembled while slipping the ring on. "Well," he smiled, "if no one here objects," he said, waiting for someone to stand up and object. When no one did, he looked to Tony and Ziva and broke into a large grin. "I am proud to pronounce you husband and wife," he smiled. "You may kiss your bride," he said, nodding to Tony.

"Finally," Tony breathed as he stepped forward and captured Ziva's lips in a kiss, slipping his tongue into her mouth gently, laughing when Ziva snaked her arms around his neck, continuing the gentle yet passionate kiss.

* * *

**Yay! They're married! Next Up: Reception, the honeymoon, and why exactly does Eli David want to see his daughter?**

**Reviews are lovely!**


	17. Chapter 17

**I really don't like this chapter all that much, so I'll definitely get the next one posted ASAP to make up for this piece of crap chapter. LoL**

**And if any of you have any places in Israel Tony and Ziva should visit, lemme know! I'm thinking they'll stay there for a few days and then fly somewhere else, so just a few places to visit. And where should they spend the rest of their honeymoon after they leave Israel?**

**That is, of course, unless Eli David doesn't interfere too much. HeeHeeHee**

* * *

_"I am proud to pronounce you husband and wife," he smiled. "You may kiss your bride," he said, nodding to Tony. _

_"Finally," Tony breathed as he stepped forward and captured Ziva's lips in a kiss, slipping his tongue into her mouth gently, laughing when Ziva snaked her arms around his neck, continuing the gentle yet passionate kiss. _

* * *

"My friends, I would like to introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Anthony DiNozzo!"

Hearing Rabbi Shat's words, Tony and Ziva pulled the doors to the ballroom open. It was small as far as ballrooms went, yet it was more than adequate for their reception. They held each other's hands tightly as they walked into the room, grinning as they heard the applause of the people they called their family. Grinning, Ziva placed a gentle kiss on Tony's lips and whispered into his ear.

"I will be right back," she said as she made her way to the DJ who was stationed in the corner of the room. Tony watched as she spoke with him, smiling as she took the microphone from the stand.

"Hello," she smiled into the microphone, laughing as everyone grew silent and turned to face her. "It is tradition for a couple to have a song, one that they dance to as their first song as husband and wife," she said looking towards Tony who had moved closer to the dance floor. "But Tony and I are not the most traditional couple, yes?" she laughed along with the rest of the guests. "Which is why we have two songs. This first one is one I am so grateful that Tony had allowed me to incorporate into our wedding. It is a classical Israeli wedding song and it is the song that my parents danced to when they were married. "So, Tony," she said with a smile, "may I have this dance?"

"Well, duh," Tony laughed as he walked over to Ziva and took her hand. The DJ started the song-on the record player, per Rabbi Shat's insistence-and Tony wrapped his arms around her waist while she locked hers around his neck.

"I love you," she smiled as they began to sway to the sounds of Ziva's homeland.

"I love you more," he replied.

"I love you the most," she grinned. "I win," she added as she captured his lips in a gentle kiss. Pulling away, Tony looked down into her deep chocolate eyes.

"I meant what I said back there," he said softly.

"What?" she asked.

"It terrifies to me to even think about not having you in my life. I said it in Somalia, I said it out there, and I'm gonna say it again. I can't live without you, Ziva David."

"Well, you are going to have to," she grinned.

"Say what?"

Ziva ginned and placed a quick kiss on his lips. "You will have to live without Ziva David because, as of today, she has been replaced by Ziva DiNozzo."

Tony laughed at her and shook his head, pulling her body closer to his.

"I love you, sweet cheeks."

The two newlyweds continued to sway to the music, unaware of the others that joined them on the dance floor. Abby and McGee, Vance and his wife, Rabbi Shat and his wife as well as their children, Ducky was even dancing with Vance's young daughter as she stood on his feet, giggling. Gibbs had no one to dance with, yet he simply stood off to the side watching the happiness radiate from each person. Thus it was Gibbs who saw Abby walk over to the dance floor with a smile on her face. Just as the last notes of the song rang out, Abby had the microphone in her hand.

"Hey, guys!" she smiled as everyone made their way to their seats. "So, before we get too much into eating and dancing and mushy gushy toasts, there are a few things that our lovely bride and groom have to take care of. Will Ziva and any single women please come to the front," she grinned as only Vance's small daughter and a few of Rabbi Shat's teenage and young daughters came to stand in front of Abby. "It's time for the bouquet toss! The whole point of this-"

"Abby," Ziva smiled. "I know what the bouquet toss is."

"Sorry," Abby blushed. "Guess I get a little carried away with weddings."

"That is fine. Now get into the group and fight for my bouquet!" she laughed as she turned around, her back to the group of women. "One...Two...Three!" she laughed as she tossed the bouquet over her head and listened to the rustling of dresses as each female fought for the bouquet.

"Yes!"

Ziva turned around to see Abby triumphantly holding the bouquet above her head and she couldn't help but laugh.

"Maybe McGee will take this as a sign," Ziva whispered as she gave Abby a hug, laughing when Abby pulled away with her entire face blushing.

Ziva began to walk back to the table when Tony was, yet she was caught by Abby.

"Not so fast, Mrs. DiNozzo," she grinned as she nodded towards the chair sitting in the center of the dance floor. "Tony, get your butt over here!" Grinning, Tony did as he was told as Ziva sat in the chair, curiosity covering her face. "Remember that garter I gave you last night and how I told you that you would need it today?"

"Yes..." Ziva said, looking between Abby's sheepish face and Tony's grinning one.

"Well, its custom for the groom to, uh, remove it during the reception and then throw it to all the single men," Abby grinned.

"I do not see why that is-"

"With his teeth," Tony interrupted.

"Oh, really?" Ziva asked, raising an eyebrow at Tony.

"Hey, I'm telling the truth here!" he laughed, raising his hands in the air to show innocence.

Sighing dramatically, Ziva extended her right leg towards Tony.

"Why, thank you, Mrs. DiNozzo," he grinned as he placed a quick kiss on her lips before getting on his knees. Ziva couldn't help but gasp when his head disappeared under her dress and she felt his tongue tracing its way up her leg. She wondered why Abby had given her two garters, yet she soon understood that one was for the toss and one was for a keepsake. She felt him place a kiss on her thigh just before taking the sapphire blue garter between his teeth and slowly inching it down, removing his head from under her dress.

"He emerges victorious!" he laughed as he took the garter in his hand and waved it.

"Alright, boys," Abby said into the microphone. "Get over here and let's see which one of you catches this lovely piece of lingerie." Just like with Ziva, Tony turned around and counted to three before launching the garter over his shoulder. Spinning around, he saw the garter land in McGee's hand.

"Way to go, Probie!" Tony hollered as McGee turned red.

The ceremony continued after that, with the DJ alternating between fast and lively songs and slower songs for Tony and Ziva to dance to, with Gibbs and Ducky cutting in to have their ceremonial father and daughter dance with Ziva.

Finally, after ending the reception with 'Smile' by Uncle Kraker, the DJ announced that it was time for the newlyweds to head to the airport and leave for their honeymoon. There were countless hugs and tears and promises of souvenirs before Tony and Ziva were able to extricate themselves from the throng of people and get into Tony's mustang to drive to the airport.

"Ready?" Tony asked as he reached across the console to grasp his wife's hand.

"For the honeymoon? Almost. For the rest of our lives? I have been ready," she grinned.

* * *

"So, sweet cheeks" Tony said as he lifted the arm rest of his oversized first class chair and pulled Ziva closer to him, "ya ever hear of the mile high club?"

Ziva laughed and snuggled closer to him under the blanket the stewardess had provided. "Yes, Tony, I have heard of the mile high club."

"Have you ever wanted to join it?"

"I have thought about it, yes," she grinned.

"Well, no time like the present, right?" he said as he let his hand wander under the blanket and trace patterns just above her knee.

Her body shuddered in anticipation, yet she gently bit her lower lip.

"If I said no, will you promise not to hate me?" she laughed.

"What?" Tony asked as he looked down at her.

Looking up into his eyes, Ziva let out a small laugh.

"It is childish, I know," she began, "yet I always imagined that the first time my husband and I had sex that it would be slow and sensuous. A hot tub, massages with scented oils, and having slow, almost excruciating sex until the sun rises. It all sounds so absurd when I say it out loud," she chuckled.

"Absurd?" he said, "Maybe. But absolutely perfect? Of course," he smiled as he kissed her gently on the crown of her head.

Ziva smiled as she pulled her body closer to his. She didn't think she would ever be able to get over how sweet Tony could be underneath his goofy exterior.

"I think I am going to take a bit of a nap," she sighed as she took Tony's hand in hers and squeezed it.

"I think I'll join you in that," he smiled. "And when we wake up," he said, "we'll be in Israel and ready to rub this into Daddy David's face."

"I cannot wait," she laughed.

* * *

"So this was little Ziva's room," Tony smiled as Ziva showed him to the room she had grown up in.

"Yes, my father often gave us lavish gifts and rooms to make up for his absence," she replied as she shut the door behind her and Tony.

"And Daddy David is absent right now, right?"

"Yes..." Ziva trailed off, watching the grin form on Tony's face.

"So how about we start that slow, sensuous honeymoon sex you've always dreamed off?" he said as he began to nip at her neck.

"I think that can be arranged," she sighed as she took his hand and led him towards the bed, straddling his waist as she pulled her dress over her head, leaving her in just her white strapless bra, lace panties, and sapphire blue garter.

"God, I love you Ziva DiNozzo," Tony breathed as he watched Ziva lean down and let her hair form a curtain around them.

"I like the sound of that," Ziva grinned as he pressed her lips to his, anxious to be one with her new husband.

* * *

**Awful ending, but I didn't wanna fill this chapter will too much smut because there's some of that to come later. Yay!**

**I'm really not happy with this chapter, but I've got the next few chapters planned out and they're going to be better than this lousy one. I pinky swear. ^_^**


	18. Chapter 18

**I just had my graduation Open House/Party and what better way to wind down from all of that than writing a new chapter for the best readers FanFiction has ever had...That's you guys. ^_^**

**And I just wanna say that I wrote this all in one sitting. So, yeah. I think this is pretty darn good for one sitting. How about you guys? HeeHeeHee**

* * *

_"God, I love you Ziva DiNozzo," Tony breathed as he watched Ziva lean down and let her hair form a curtain around them._

_"I like the sound of that," Ziva grinned as he pressed her lips to his, anxious to be one with her new husband._

* * *

"So," Tony began as he looked over Ziva's body to see that it had been five hours since they arrived at the David household. "Did that fulfill your honeymoon desires?"

"Of course," she breathed. Both of their bodies were covered in a fine layer of sweat and the setting sun shone in from the window, covering the newlyweds in a halo of light.

"So that means we can join the mile high club on the way home?" he laughed.

"If you are a good boy," she replied as she captured his lips with hers and weaved her hands into his hair.

The kiss continued, growing more passionate yet staying just as gentle. Reluctantly, Ziva pulled away from Tony and rested her forehead against his.

"I should get dressed," she breathed.

"And why is that?" Tony asked as he stared into her eyes.

"Because I get the feeling that Eli will be wishing to speak to me soon," she replied. "And I do not wish for him to send someone to retrieve me and see us covered in sweat and having sex."

"But I thought we wanted to rub this into his face?"

Ziva shook her head and laughed at Tony's humor.

"I do, but that might be a bit too much, even for you and I," she laughed.

"Well, then," Tony sighed dramatically. "I guess we should get dressed, huh?"

"That might be a good idea," she smiled as she pulled herself from the bed and towards the suitcases they hadn't unpacked yet.

"You should wear that white dress," he said as he rolled from the bed and pulled his boxers back on. "Remind him that he missed your actual wedding dress."

Ziva rolled her eyes and she clasped her bra behind her and turned to face Tony.

"You truly do want to rub this into his face," she laughed.

"Just a little," he grinned as he pulled on a pair of jeans and searched for a decent shirt to wear.

"Wear the red polo," Ziva said as she pulled the white dress over her head and walked to the mirror.

The two continued to dress, Ziva choosing to leave her hair down and apply a touch of make up to hide any jet lag or signs of sex from her face. She quickly glanced into the mirror once again and turned to face Tony.

"He should be in his study," she said as she glanced at the clock. "Ready to face him?"

"I think I'll be able to restrain myself," Tony laughed as he took her hand and let her lead him out of her room and down a series of hallways and stairs to stand in front of a large mahogany door.

"This is it..." she sighed as she turned to face Tony.

Tony squeezed her hand tighter and lifted his free hand to knock on the large door, yet it was quickly stopped when Ziva shot her hand to his.

"Wait," she said, trying to mask the franticness of her voice. "I do not know if I can do this," she stammered.

"Zi, baby, you can do this. You're strong and this jerk ain't got nothin' on you."

"He tried to have me killed, Tony," she said, clenching her eyes to stop the tears from forming in her eyes. "He sent me on a mission, claiming it was for Mossad yet it was really a suicide mission."

"I know that," Tony smiled as he turned to face her directly, placing his hands on her face. "But you survived. He tried to kill you and you kicked his sorry ass. If you survived that, you can survive talking to him for a few minutes before we go on to continue our honeymoon."

Ziva took a deep breath and nodded her head.

"You are right," she said.

"I usually am," Tony laughed as he once again grasped her hand and knocked on the heavy door.

"Come in," a heavily accented voice said from the other side of the door. Both of them taking a deep breath, Tony and Ziva pushed the door open and stepped into Eli David's study.

"Zivaleh," Eli smiled as he stood up and walked over towards his daughter.

"I am assuming you wish to speak to me," she said as she avoided his gaze. Seeing how his daughter ignored his gaze, Eli took a few steps and back kept his distance.

"I would like to speak with you, yes," he responded.

"So speak," Ziva said.

"I would prefer to do it without Anthony present," Eli said.

Hearing that, Ziva's heart began to race. Since Tony was holding her hand, he felt the increase in her pulse and squeezed her hand tighter.

"I think that whatever you want to sat to Ziva can be said in front of me," Tony daringly said. "She's my wife and I'm her husband," he added.

"And she is my daughter," Eli refuted.

"By blood, yeah," Tony laughed. "But by no other means could you consider yourself to be Ziva's father."

"Tony," Ziva said as she turned to face him. "I will be fine. This will only take a few moments, I am sure."

"Zi, are you sure? I mean-"

"I am sure, Tony," she smiled. "Go back to the room and I will meet you back there to continue our previous activities," she winked.

Laughing at the way Ziva was beginning to rub their happiness into Eli's face, Tony simply winked at her.

"Can't wait," he said as he pulled her flush against his body and kissed her deeply.

"I will see you soon," Ziva breathed when she pulled away for oxygen, grinning as Tony walked from the room. Yet the moment the door was shut, the grin fell from her face and she turned to once again face her father.

"America has ruined your manners," Eli said as he turned around and walked back to behind his desk. "You never would have displayed such a crude act in front of you father if you had stayed with Mossad."

"If I had stayed with Mossad I would be dead!" Ziva retorted.

"What happened to you, my dearest Zivaleh? You used to be such a dedicated young woman..."

"I am still dedicated," she laughed. "Just not to the man that sent me on a suicide mission and wanted me dead."

"And who is it you are dedicated to now? Anthony, the man who killed Michael and has never held a steady relationship? NCIS, the agency that left you in Israel? Gibbs?" Eli laughed.

"Yes!" Ziva said through clenched teeth. "At least they do not want me dead?"

"You wanted yourself dead!" Eli growled.

"What?" Ziva laughed. "What on Earth are you talking about? Where did you get the idea that I would want to die?"

"America may have made you soft and rude, yet you are still the same Ziva that I raised. You kept a diary then and you kept one when you stayed here with Mossad, always hiding it in the same place!"

Ziva stepped back as Eli slammed a large black suede covered notebook onto his desk.

"Those writings were meant for me," she said shocked. "They were meant to be a release so that I would not lash out at you or do something rash!"

"Well it seems that you were planning on doing something rash," Eli said as he opened the notebook to a place he had bookmarked. "_'It has been two months since I stayed in Israel and each day my desire to die has grown. I miss everyone at NCIS and it kills me that I cannot contact them in any way. Sometimes when I am practicing with my knives I have the urge to end my life. At least if I am dead then I will be able to look down at everyone I once called my family and see how they are living without me. If only I were dead.'_"

As Eli read what she had written what seemed like lifetimes ago, Ziva's heart continued to race and she took a few steps back to separate herself from both him and the words she had once written.

"That is why I sent you on the mission!" Eli shouted. "Because you wanted to die! You were no longer a vital asset to Mossad and, seeing as how you wanted to die, I decided to make that happen!"

"I cannot believe you," Ziva said shaking her head. "Because I mentioned in a journal that sometimes I thought of death, you saw it fit to send me off to die?"

"It sounds so horrible when you say it like that," Eli replied.

"Because it is horrible!" she cried.

Neither one of them spoke for several minutes and the only sounds in the room were that of their heavy breathing.

"Why did you invite me here?" Ziva finally asked, her voice soft.

"Because there is something I must tell you. Something that I have been meaning to tell you for quite some time. Something that a father should have told his daughter the moment he found out."

"You are not a father," she said, her voice wavering.

"Zivaleh, please, just listen to me. This is important and I wish to say this with peace between us."

"There is as much peace between us is as possible, given the circumstances," she sighed. "So, please, just say what you wanted to say."

"Ziva, my dearest daughter..."

* * *

Ziva threw the door open to her bedroom, her heart and mind racing.

"Zi?" Tony asked as he heard the door open and shut loudly. He walked out of the bathroom and was immediately pressed up against the wall by Ziva, her lips crashing onto his with bruising force. He tasted the lingering taste of salt, from tears he assumed.

"Fuck me, Tony," she breathed as she pulled his shirt from his jeans and began to tug it up. Tony had never once heard her talk like that and, even though he wanted to talk about what had happened with Eli, his body betrayed his mind.

"You got it," he said as he flipped them around so she was pressed up against the wall. He yanked her dress over her head, breaking the kiss for a mere second as he pulled his own shirt over his head. He felt Ziva's hands unsnap his jeans and push them down with his boxers, grabbing his erection and pumping it roughly.

"What are you waiting for?" she growled.

Hearing her voice and the desire dripping from it, he ripped her panties from her body and picked her up to bring their pelvic bones mere centimeters from each other, thrusting into her without warning. She cried out in pain and Tony immediately began to pull out from her.

"No," she said as she dug her heels into his back and thrust him into her further.

"Hurting you," he breathed as he felt her walls clench around him.

"It is fine," she lied convincingly in his ear, nipping at in gently.

"In that case," Tony said as he grabbed her outer thighs roughly and used that leverage to thrust into her, her body hitting against the wall with each thrust. Seeing the snarl of pleasure on Ziva's face, Tony bent his head down and bit onto the top of her breast, leaving a bright love bit on it. He moved to the other breast, biting it in a similar fashion and causing Ziva to cry out in pain once again.

"Harder, Tony," she managed to stammer. "Please, harder," she pleaded.

Obeying her desires, Tony gripped her tighter and thrust into her wildly, all thoughts of the possibility of her pain leaving his mind. He felt her arch her back and knew she was close to her orgasm.

"Come for me, Ziva," he said as he crushed her lips with his, nipping at her bottom lip.

When he said that, Ziva bit her bottom lip violently to stifle her scream as Tony continued to thrust into her and spill his seed inside of her.

Feeling her go limp in his arms, Tony pulled out of Ziva and gently let her down to stand on shaking legs. Once her legs touched the ground, Ziva slid down to the floor and pulled her knees to her chest and her entire body began to shake.

"Ziva?" Tony said, worry filling his voice as he knelt down next to her and pushed her hair from her face. "I'm sorry, I thought you wanted me to be rough. You shoulda told me I was hurting you."

"I wanted you to be rough," she said as she stared wide eyed at the floor. "Rougher than that, actually."

"Then what's wrong?" he asked as he tried to find a way to stop her violently shaking body.

"Do you remember when we determined that taxi would be the code word for when I wanted to cut?" she asked, still staring wide eyed at the floor.

"Yeah...?" Tony said, his voice questioning.

"Taxi," she whispered before sobs began to wrack her body and violently increase the shaking of her body.

* * *

**What did Eli say that made Ziva wanna cut? Was having violent sex with Tony enough to take the edge off her desire to cut? Will she cut?**

**All will be revealed when you review! ^_^**


	19. Chapter 19

**So, to some it may seem that Ziva is a bit crazed in this chapter, but keep in mind that she still struggles with cutting, has to deal with what her father told her-which is described in this chapter-and a whole lot more. She may seen crazed and frantic, but the sort of demeanor of her's in this chapter is one I've endured personally. So I hope you don't find it too horrible.**

**Once again this was written in pretty much one sitting. It's also a pretty long chapter, both word wise and because there aren't many breaks like I usually have. It's just one long, emotionally heavy scene. **

**Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

_"Do you remember when we determined that taxi would be the code word for when I wanted to cut?" she asked, still staring wide eyed at the floor. _

_"Yeah...?" Tony said, his voice questioning. _

_"Taxi," she whispered before sobs began to wrack her body and violently increase the shaking of her body._

* * *

Seeing the violence with which her body was shaking, Tony knew that the conversation she had with Eli was one he should have been there for.

"Ziva?" he said gently.

She didn't speak. She simply continued to stare wide eyed at the floor as her body shook violently, the conversation she had with her father still ringing in her eyes.

"Ziva?" he said again as he moved a finger under her chin to lift her head to meet his eyes. Yet the moment his finger touched her chin, she pulled her head away and shook her head.

"No," she stammered as she clenched her eyes shut, blocking Tony and the rest of the world from her sight.

"No, what?" Tony asked softly. "What happened with-"

"No, no, no, no!" she cried as she hit her head into the wall she was resting on.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Tony said as he took Ziva's head in his hands and forced her to look in his eyes. "What happened?" With her head in his hands, Tony felt the shaking of her body lessen.

Even though the two of them were making eye contact, Ziva's eyes were still wide and glassed over as though she didn't register that Tony was sitting right in front of her.

"Taxi," she said again as the violent shaking of her body resumed and her eyes once again went to the floor.

The shaking of her body began to frighten Tony. It might have frightened him less if it were sobs that were wracking her body, yet that was not the case. There was no cause he could find for her violent shaking other than the demons that were in her mind.

"Ziva, baby," Tony said, fear starting to fill his voice, "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong. Please, tell me what happened with your father."

"I am cold," she said as she looked up to face Tony, her eyes still wide yet far less glassy.

Hearing that, Tony's mind flashed to large Jacuzzi style bathtub that lie in the master bathroom that connected to Ziva's room.

"Let's draw you a bath," he suggested, hoping the warm water would ease her shaking and allow her to open up about what happened with Eli.

Nodding, Ziva managed to push herself up into a standing position. She used the wall to steady herself as she made her way to the bathroom on shaky legs. Tony walked behind her, ensuring that further support would be there if she needed it. His stomach flipped when he saw the bruises forming on her thighs where he had gripped her just minutes ago. He hadn't looked, but he was sure that there would be two large bite marks on her breasts as well.

"I will draw it," she said gently when she saw Tony place his hands on the knobs.

"Okay," Tony sighed as he moved to the side to allow Ziva to turn the faucet on, filling the tub with water. She sat on the edge of the tub, watching the water pour from the faucet and into the tub, almost as if she were in a trance. Finally, she shut the water off and turned to Tony.

"Do you want to join me or would you prefer to not?"

"I'll join you," he smiled gently.

There were both already naked, so Ziva simply stepped into the tub and sat down on one of the benches that the Jacuzzi style offered. The water came up to her chin as she allowed the water to envelop her body entirely. Tony stepped in after her and had to stifle a gasp. The water was hotter than any he had encountered and he was shocked that Ziva was sitting so calmly in it. He sat down across from her, giving her the space he knew she needed, but also within arm's reach of him.

"He is dying," she said abruptly.

"What?" Tony asked, unable to hide the shock in his voice.

"My father," she said as she raised her head to look into his eyes. Her eyes were no longer wide and glassy; rather they were scared and vulnerable. "He is dying," she said again.

"Oh my God, Ziva," Tony breathed.

"He has cancer," she said. "Pancreatic," she added. "He has been going to treatments for the past year," she continued.

"And he decided to tell you this during your honeymoon?" he asked, unsure as to why Eli felt it was necessary for Ziva to hear about his cancer now.

"The doctor has given him two weeks left," she whispered.

"And he wanted to clear the air before her died, huh?" Tony replied.

"Why else would he pay to have us flown here first class?" she chuckled. "He tried to justify sending me to Somalia. Tried to make me forgive him. Tried to fix our to…" She was unable to finish her thoughts.

"Come 'ere," Tony said as he held his arms open to Ziva. She hesitated, but soon slid over to Tony and allowed him to wrap his arms around her.

"He is dying," she said as she looked into Tony's eyes. "My father is dying," she repeated as she buried her face in his neck and allowed her tears to fall freely from her eyes.

The two of them sat in the tub until the water around them grew chilled. The steam had covered their faces in sweat and made Ziva's curls return to their naturally wild style, yet neither one of them cared. Tony simply continued to hold Ziva as she went between shaking and sobbing violently, soft tears, and the occasional time when she would bite her lip violently or attempt to hit her head against the edge of the large tub. But through everything, she never tried to extricate herself from Tony. Rather than try to pull away from him or run off to be in private, Ziva allowed herself to try and gain as much comfort as possible from the arms of her husband.

When Tony noticed that her teeth began to chatter from the cold water, he pushed her wild curls from her face and kissed her gently on her forehead.

"How about we get you into some pajamas?" he suggested.

"That would be a good idea," she said with a forced laugh.

"Yeah, it would be," Tony smiled back. "You stay in here and I'll grab a towel, kay?"

Ziva nodded as she pulled herself away from Tony. She kept her body in the cool water as she watched him walk from the tub and grab a few towels from the cabinet beneath the sink. He wrapped one around his waist before unfolding another and holding it open in his arms.

"Ready when you are," he said, motioning to the towel.

Smiling weakly, Ziva stood from the tub and quickly walked to Tony and the towel he held. He wrapped the towel around her small frame and secured it across her chest. Only the tips of her hair had gotten wet, so he took the second towel and wrapped it around her shoulders to keep her as warm as possible.

"Thank you," she said as she clutched to the towel he had placed on her shoulders. "Can we get into those pajamas now?" she asked.

"I think that'd be a good idea," Tony replied as he opened the door and let Ziva walk ahead of him.

"So much for the lingerie," she muttered under her breath as she looked towards the suitcase where a stash of lingerie she and Abby had bought lay hidden.

"Huh?" Tony asked as he led her to bed and urged her to sit down.

"Nothing," she smiled. "Just talking to myself, yes?"

"Happens to the best of us," he laughed, hoping to lighten the mood. "So which pajamas would you like to wear tonight? Boxers and a t-shirt? A sexy negligee? Your birthday suit?" he added, waggling his eyebrows.

"Ohio State," she said as she pointed to the orange sweatpants that peeked out from his suitcase.

Tony sighed dramatically as he walked to his suitcase and pulled the sweatpants and oversized t-shirt from his suitcase.

"Thank you," she smiled as she stood up and took the clothing from his hands. "I know they are not the sexiest things to wear on a honeymoon, but they are comforting..." she said as she bit her lip and looked at the faded orange clothing in her hands.

"Sweet cheeks," he said as he placed a finger under her chin and brought her eyes to meet his, "everything is sexy on you."

Blushing slightly, she quickly dropped the towels to the floor and made quick work of pulling Tony's clothing onto her body, sighing when the familiar feeling of the fabric hit her skin. Seeing that he pulled on a pair of flannel pajama pants and another Ohio State t-shirt, she pulled back the covers of the bed and crawled onto the mattress, leaning up against the headboard. Tony joined her leaning up against the headboard and wrapped an arm around her.

"So..." he began, careful to tread lightly."Taxi..." As he spoke their code word for cutting, Tony felt Ziva's body tense, yet also felt it soon relax. It made him smile, knowing that it was becoming easier for Ziva to talk about the cutting she had once been so ashamed off.

"Yes," she said as she took a deep breath to calm her nerves. "It just seems as though it would solve all of this..." she trailed off.

"What do you mean 'all of this'?" Tony asked, as he began to gently stroke her hair.

"My father," she replied.

"How would, uh, doing that fix the situation?" he asked.

Ziva couldn't help but laugh. "You can say the word cutting, Tony," she said as she tilted her head to look into his eyes. "It will not push me off the edge."

"Okay. How will cutting fix the situation?"

"It would not fix it," she said as she once again laid her head on his shoulder, "but it would make it far less confusing."

"And how would it do that?"

"I do not know how I am supposed to feel," she said. "My father is dying and that is one of the worst things that a person can endure but...I cannot recall the last time that we had a conversation that was as father and daughter. It was also Director David and Officer David between us. He is my father and part of me will always feel some sort of love towards him, but yet my heart is not feeling the distraught way that my brain is telling me to feel. At least if I cut I would know what it was I was supposed to be feeling. Pain..." she sighed. "Why are you smiling?" she asked when she lifted her head to look at Tony.

"I'm proud of you, that's all," he smiled. "I think this is the most open about cutting you've been with me and I'm just thrilled that you've come as far as you have."

"You are thrilled that I am feeling only a small amount of depression that my father is going to die in a few weeks?"

"Well, maybe not about that," Tony replied, "but that you know why you wanna cut and are allowing me to help you get through it. That's why I'm smiling."

"I wish I could smile right now," she sighed. "My father is dying and I have no idea how I feel."

"What did you guys talk about in there after he told you about the cancer?" Tony asked, trying to keep her talking long enough to take the cutting edge off of her mind.

"After he told me how he had been hiding it from me for a year and told me why he was telling me now, I ran out," she laughed. "It was before that we had our little chat," she chuckled.

"And what took place during that chat?"

And with that, Ziva began to recount to Tony what her and her father had spoken of. She told him every detail from his comment about their manners to what she had written in her journal to how he tried to justify the mission to Somalia. Once she finished the play by play of everything both she and her father said, Tony took a deep breath and spoke.

"I'm not sure if this is gonna help, but I would be feeling the exact same way that you are, sweet cheeks. Hell, he's not even my father and I'm feeling the exact same way that you are."

Once he said those words, Ziva pulled herself away from him and turned her entire body to face him.

"I think that is what I needed to hear," she smiled as Tony noticed that some of the sparkle returned to her eyes.

"Glad I could be of service," Tony grinned.

"Thank you, Tony," she said, her voice full of honesty and vulnerability. "Not just for saying what I needed to hear, but for everything. For today and everyday that I wanted to cut and for supporting me through everything. For keeping me alive."

"Like I said, Zi," Tony said as he cupped her cheek in his hand and stroked her cheek with his thumb, "I honestly can't live without you."

Leaning into his touch, Ziva brushed her lips against his. Moving her hands to his face, Ziva scooted down on the bed and pulled Tony's face down with her, her tongue gently tracing his lips and asking for entrance.

"I love you," he whispered when he opened his mouth to grant her tongue entrance into his mouth.

"And I love you," she whispered back as she slipped her tongue into his mouth and deepened the kiss, her hands wrapped gently round his neck.

Just as she moved her hands down his arms, she heard something and a blood curdling scream flew from her lips.

A gun shot.

* * *

**DunDunDunnnn**

**I have a plan for who gets shot/who did the shooting, but I haven't written it yet.**

**Thus, in all honestly, please leave a review or personal message about what you think should happen. I want this to go where you guys want it to go, so lemme know! Does Eli shoot Tony? Does he shoot Ziva? Or is it something totally unrelated to Tony/Ziva/Eli?**

**Lemme know what you wanna see and what you thought of this chapter!**

**Love!**


	20. Chapter 20

**I did this with my 100th review and, since we're getting closer, the person who leaves my 200th review for this story will get a special one shot written for them. Yay!**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

_"I love you," he whispered when he opened his mouth to grant her tongue entrance into his mouth. _

_"And I love you," she whispered back as she slipped her tongue into his mouth and deepened the kiss, her hands wrapped gently round his neck._

_Just as she moved her hands down his arms, she heard something and a blood curdling scream flew from her lips._

_A gun shot._

* * *

Tony wasn't sure how she did it, yet Ziva managed to free herself from under him and throw herself from the bed.

"What the hell was that?" Tony said, tyring his best to keep his voice under a yell.

"I do not know," she stammered. "Were you hit?" she asked as her eyes scanned his body for any sign of a wound.

"No, I'm fine. You?"

Ziva simply nodded before darting from the room and making her way towards her father's study. All thoughts of self defense had flown from her mind as she raced to where she knew her father-and the gun-would be.

"Ziva!" Tony hissed after her, catching up with her and grabbing her arm. "What the hell? You're supposed to run away when you hear shots fired, not run towards them!"

"The shots came from Eli's study. I need to see what has happened," she said as she looked down to the firm grip her held on her.

"Fine, but I'm staying with you," he replied as he let go of her arm and, in turn, grasped her hand in his.

She didn't reply. She simply began to jog once again down the maze of hallways that would lead her to her father's study as Tony kept up with her every step of the way. When they reached the study, they saw that the door had been left open and that light was streaming into the hallway. They heard ragged breathing coming from the study and, even though he was hesitant, Ziva tugged on Tony's hand and walked into the open door way.

Standing behind the lavish desk was Eli David, a gun in his hand and a near empty bottle of bourban resting on the desk.

"Aba..." Ziva trailed off, hoping that speaking in their native tongue would calm him, yet it did nothing. Her eyes scanned the room, trying to find where the bullet from the gun shot landed, yet she saw nothing.

"Do not call me that," Eli growled. "You yourself said I was not your father."

"Yes, and I know that perhaps I should have thought more before I spoke," she said. "You brought me here to try and bring peace to our relationship and I did nothing to help that effort. So, please, Eli, put-"

"You are a disgrace to the David name!" Eli spat. "You used to be such a talented officer. Always following orders and completing even the most difficult of missions without even a hint of emotion. You used to be the officer I could brag about to every visitor who came into Mossad headquarters, but now!" he scoffed, "now I am ashamed to have the same name as you."

"Then it is a good thing that we do not have the same name anymore," Ziva said. "My name is now Ziva DiNozzo, not Ziva David."

"You are a disgrace!" he shouted as he lifted the gun and pointed it directly between Ziva's eyes. Even though he had consumed a bottle of alcohol, his hand was steady as he aimed as his daughters face.

"I am sorry you feel that way," she said as she shut her eyes, somehow managing to keep her voice calm as her father pointed a gun to her head. Seeing the scene in front of him, Tony found himself unable to stay silent any longer.

"Look, Eli," Tony spat, "if you shoot her, I swear to whatever gods are out there that I will make the rest of your life a living hell. I don't care about your cancer. If you even graze my wife with a bullet, I will make sure you suffer the rest of your pathetic life."

"Tony," Ziva said softly.

"No, let him continue," Eli laughed, the gun never wavering. "I would love to hear what Anthony has to say to me."

"I've got a hell of a lot to say to you," Tony said, "but the two weeks you've got left to live aren't nearly enough time to say it all."

"Humor me," Eli mocked.

"I love your daughter more than anyone else I've ever loved," Tony began, "and I've seen first hand the pain you've put her through, both physically and mentally. I've seen her held hostange becasue of you, I've seen her torn about flying here to see you or ripping up the tickets because of you, and I just spent the past hour and a half sitting with her and trying to stop her from cutting herself because of you," he continued, his voice growing angrier with every phrase. "And I just wanna tell you, Daddy David, that karma is most definately a bitch."

"Really?" Eli laughed. "Karma is a bitch?" he quoted.

"Yeah, and a pretty big one," Tony replied.

"In that case," Eli said as he moved the gun away from Ziva's head, "I think I will take some of the burden off of karma."

Seeing where the gun was pointed, Ziva lunged for her father, only to have Tony's arms wrap around her middle and keep her hostage.

"NO!" she screamed as her father pulled the trigger and fell to the floor behind his desk. Tony's eyes widened when he saw Eli fall to the floor, yet he refused to lessen his grip on Ziva. She was struggling to free herself from his grasp, yet his arms were wrapped tighty around her middle. As he felt her struggles lessen and her desire to run to her father's body subside, Tony slowly let his arms fall from her waist.

"He is gone," she said softly as she turned around to face Tony.

"Ziva, baby, I'm so sorry," he replied, praying that she wouldn't have the same strong urge to cut that she had just gotten over.

"He is gone," she repeated, only this time it was at a natural level and her eyes weren't void of emotions. "It is over," she said with a smile as she shakily wrapped her arms around Tony, adrenaline coursing through her veins.

Exhaling, Tony wrapped his arms around her and he, too, breathed the sigh of relief that Eli could no longer hurt him or Ziva. As he stroked her hair, he saw where the bullet had been fired from the first gun shot. Eli had aimed it at the picture frame that held the photo of Ari, Ziva, and Tali when they were children. Aimed it at the same picture that sat in a photo frame in Tony and Ziva's apartment.

Aimed it right at photographic Ziva's head.

* * *

"Hey, boss, it's DiNozzo."

Ziva opened her sleepy eyes and turned her head to see Tony speaking into the large airline telephone. After Eli's suicide, both Tony and Ziva decided that they no longer wanted to stay in Israel to see any of Ziva's favorite childhood or teenage locations. Rather, they left the David villa as soon as they alerted those necesary of Eli's death and made their way to the aiport, anxious to get away from Israel and the problems it carried.

"Yeah, I know it's only been a day since we left, but I wanted you to hear this from us."

Ziva was unable to hear what Gibbs was saying on the other line, so she simply watched Tony's expressions closely to determine what was being said by both men.

"Huh," Tony said after a minute of silence. "News does travel fast, huh?" Hearing that, Ziva knew that everyone at NCIS had already been alerted of her father's death. She knew he was a powerful man, yet even she was shocked at how fast the news had traveled. "Yeah, she's doing fine as far as I can tell. Sleeping right now," he said, only to have Ziva elbow him in the side. "Ow, wait," he groaned, "she's definately awake." A few more moments passed of Tony listening intenetly to Gibbs. "Yeah, there was a plane leaving for Paris when we got to the airport so we splurged for the first class seats and we're on our way there now. Okay...Yeah, we'll call you when we know what time we'll be getting back in D.C. See ya, boss."

Hanging up the brick sized airline phone, Tony turned to face Ziva.

"Director Vance has already been alerted of Eli's death, I assume?" she asked softly.

"Yeah. Eli's goonies called him a little while ago. How're you feeling?"

"Surprisingly I am feeling extremely calm," she said as she rested her head on Tony's shoulder. "What about you?" she asked as she traced patterns on his arm with her fingers.

"Honestly?" Tony asked.

"That would be nice, yes," Ziva smiled.

"I'm still feeling the urge to join the mile high club," he whispered in her ear.

Lifting her head off of his shoulder, Ziva smirked at him and raised an eyebrow.

"You are?" she smiled.

"Yeah, and that little smirk on your face isn't helping," he laughed.

"Well," she said, "you have helped me with cutting urges, so I suppose I could help you with this urge," she winked as she took his hand and gently guided it under her skirt. His heart began to race as Ziva placed his hand so high on her thigh that he could feel the heat of her arousal without even touching her.

"Most normal people do this in the bathroom," he whispered as he let his hand rest on her thigh.

"They are both occupied at the moment. And, besides," she smirked, "a little head start never hurt anyone?"

"Nope, definately not," he laughed as he let his hand wander higher up and let his fingers brush her through her flimsy panties. "I love you," he breathed in her ear as he gave her womanhood a gentle squeeze.

Leaning her head back against the seat, Ziva closed her eyes and relaxed into Tony's feather light touches. He slowly nudged her panties to one side and gently slid two of his fingers into her, laughing when she bit her lip and arched her back.

"Patience, young grasshopper," he laughed in her ear as he began to pump into her at an excruciatingly slow place. "This isn't a sprint."

Sighing, Ziva nodded her head and relaxed her body, allowing Tony to continue his painfully slow minstrations. As he added a third finger, he used his thumb to find her sensitive bundle of nerves and give it a playful flick.

"Not funny," she moaned when he laughed at her sharp intake of breath.

Suddenly Tony pulled his fingers from her pulsing center and removed his hand from her skirt.

"What are you doing?" Ziva asked as her eyes flew open. Her face was flushed and her pupils were dialated with desired.

"Bathroom's free," he smirked as he stood up and made his way to the bathroom. Growling, Ziva straightened her skirt and stood up, trying to keep it from being completely obvious that she was following Tony.

Flipping the switch violently behind her, Ziva locked her and Tony in the smal bathroom and pulled him towards her by his shirt.

"I want you," she sighed in his ear as she began to work on undoing his jeans and freeing his erection from his jeans.

"Not as much as I want you," Tony retorted as he pulled her skirt abover her waist and her panties down her legs.

"How are we," she said as she grasped his erection and began to stroke it rapidly, "going to do this?"

Grinning, Tony spun her around to face the mirror.

"Like this," he smiled as he gently bent her over the sink and made eye contact with her in the mirror. "Ready?" he asked as he positioned his erection at her already wet opening.

For her reply, Ziva simply pushed back against Tony and lodged the tip of him inside of her.

"I'll take that as a yes," he laughed as he finished entering her with one swift motion.

"I love you, Tony," she managed to say in between Tony's deep thrusts.

Hearing her say that, Tony slowed his thrusts down and brushed her hair to one side, kissing her neck. "I love you, too," he whispered lovingly in her ear.

"But I didn't say you could slow down," she laughed as she pushed back into Tony, encouraging him to resume his deep and rapid thrusts.

* * *

"So this is the famous Mona Lisa," Tony said as he walked hand in hand with Ziva towards the famous painting.

"Yes, this is she," Ziva smiled. They had arrived in Paris just an hour earlier and, even though Ziva could tell Tony was both mentally and physically exhausted, Tony insisted that they simply throw their bags into their hotel room-the honeymoon suite, of course- and go off to the Lourve.

"I kinda expected something..." Tony trailed off as he examined the framed work of art.

"Larger?" Ziva offered.

"Yeah, I think that's it. Everyone makes such a buzz about it that I thought it would be huge."

"Most people do," she smiled as she stared into the Mona Lisa's eyes. "I remember when my father took me here when I was a child. He was with a government friend and, when he was not looking, I ran to the Mona Lisa and sat in front of her all day. I sat and stared into her eyes, trying to figure out what exactly she was hiding. She is beautiful and yet she seems to be hiding so much pain behind that famous smirk."

"Kinda like my favorite ninja," Tony replied.

"Or perhaps like my favorite fuzzy bear," she said.

"You make a good point there," Tony sighed. "But there is one major difference between you and Miss Mona Lisa."

"And what would that be?" Ziva asked as she rested her head on Tony's shoulder.

"You're a hell of a lot more gorgeous," he said as he kissed the crown of her head.

* * *

**GAHHHHHH! I just cannot write anything decent. I really, really, really, really, really, really dislike this chapter, but I wanted to get something up for you guys because I'm going on a retreat until Sunday-ish, so it might be a while before I get something up. **

**I'm really kind of hitting a brick wall as to where to take this story, so any suggestions you guys have would be more than appreciated. **

**Annnnnnnnd. On a personal note, as of Thursday, June 13th, 2010 at 10:00pm, I will have made it exactly one year without cutting. 365 Days without the blade. Time to paaaarrrrty! HeeHeeHee**

**Once again, sorry for the crap chapter...**


	21. Chapter 21

**Sorry for the long wait. I got back from my retreat on Saturday and Sunday was both Father's Day AND my dad's birthday, so I didn't really feel up to writing. **

**I'm thinking that this might be the last chapter of 'Choices.' I might start writing a third installment of The Knife/Choices series, but only if you guys would like to see more of it. I've got an idea, but I'll only write it if you wanna read it.**

**DUDE! I'm watching Law and Order: SVU, and some guest star is the same guy who plays Eli David. Weird...**

* * *

_"You make a good point there," Tony sighed. "But there is one major difference between you and Miss Mona Lisa."_

_"And what would that be?" Ziva asked as she rested her head on Tony's shoulder._

_"You're a hell of a lot more gorgeous," he said as he kissed the crown of her head. _

* * *

The two newlyweds lie bathed in sweat as the light from the Paris moon and the sparkling Eiffel Tower shone into their hotel room windows.

"God, that was fantastic," Tony breathed as he rolled off of Ziva and onto his back next to her.

"Indeed," she sighed as she pulled her body close to him and nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck.

"Now I definitely know why Paris is called the City of Love," he grinned as he felt Ziva press a kiss to his neck.

"Perhaps one day we will live here," she said softly. "After we have grown old together and NCIS no longer needs us, that is," she added with a smile.

"And after our children are out of college and we don't have to offer them any sort of financial support," he laughed.

"Children?" Ziva asked as she propped herself onto her elbow and turned to look down at Tony. "You want children? You have always joked that there would never be a woman with whom you would want to have children with..."

"That was before I admitted that I was madly in love with you," Tony smiled as he propped himself up on his own elbow to look into her chocolate brown eyes.

"So..." Ziva said softly as she bit her lower lip gently. "You would like children?"

"As long as they're with you," Tony said as he used his free hand to tangle in her hair and capture her lips in a gentle kiss. "What about you?" he asked when he pulled away to rest his forehead against hers.

"I think I would like children, yes," she said nervously. Tony sensed her hesitation and he was almost positive he knew why.

"You'd be the perfect mother," he said as he tucked a stray curl behind her ear. "Our kids would be little ninjas whose first words would be a movie title."

Ziva let out a laugh and shook her head.

"That would be because of their genetics," she laughed, "not because of my maternal skills. In case you have forgotten, I grew up without a mother and my father tried to have me killed."

"So?" Tony smiled. "I see the way you are with kids. Whenever we have a case with a kid, they're always magnetically drawn to you. Your entire face lights up when you're sitting at your desk with a kid. Trust me; you'd be a kick ass mother."

She raised her eyebrows slightly when Tony said that, yet soon a small smiled formed on her face.

"It never ceases to amaze me how you always know what to say," she smiled. "I love you," she added as she pressed her lips to his in a chaste kiss.

"So," Tony smirked, "whaddya say we start trying to make those little DiNozzo ninjas?"

Shaking her head, Ziva rolled over so she was straddling Tony's waist.

"I can hear the pitter patter already."

* * *

"Tony! Ziva!"

The second Tony and Ziva stepped off the elevator, they were assaulted with a massive hug by none other than Abby.

"Hey, Abbs," Tony managed to choke out as Abby squeezed the two of them.

"I've missed you guys so much! Ten days is way too long of a time to not see you!"

"We have missed you, too," Ziva smiled when she was finally released from Abby's embrace. "But we brought each of you back a souvenir."

"Yay!" Abby cried as she took Tony and Ziva's hands and tugged them into the bullpen. "Look whose back!" Abby announced as they stepped into the bullpen.

"Probie!" Tony cried. "Did ya miss me? I know you did, so don't even try to lie."

"It was much quieter," he muttered.

"It is good to see you, McGee," Ziva smiled as she gave McGee a small hug. "And you as well, Gibbs," Ziva smiled as she kissed the silver haired man on the cheek.

"You two, Ziver," he grinned.

"Time for souvenirs!" Abby cried as she jumped up and down, clapping her hands.

The entire bullpen laughed as Abby anxiously awaited her presents.

"One for Probie, one for Abby, and one for our fearless leader," Tony grinned as he handed a small package to each member of the team. "And we've got one for Ducky that we'll bring down to him later."

For Abby, Tony and Ziva had purchased a skull and crossbones necklace that was adorned with red and black crystals. What made Abby squeal with delight was the fact that the skull was wearing a French beret. When McGee opened his gift, he found a leather bound notebook that had been imprinted with his pen name, Thom E Gemcity. Lastly, Gibbs slowly opened the package and rolled his eyes when he pulled out a tacky tie covered with a pattern of the Eiffel Tower repeated over and over.

"Gee, thanks," Gibbs laughed.

"That is from Tony," Ziva grinned. "I added a little something else to the box," she smiled. Reaching his hand into the box, Gibbs pulled out a second smaller box. "I know it cannot replace your current one, but perhaps it can add to your collection," Ziva said as she bit her lip, anxious to see how Gibbs would react.

Gibbs's eyes grew misty when he pulled a silver flask from the box. It had been engraved with a personal message, much like the one Shannon and Kelly had given him before he went off to Desert Storm. "You have always been there for me and I am forever in your debt. All my love, Ziva."

"Thank you, Ziva," Gibbs said, his voice soft as he wrapped his arms around the woman he considered his daughter.

"Do not mention it," Ziva whispered in her ear. "You deserve it."

Suddenly Gibbs and Ziva pulled apart when the phone on Gibbs's desk rang loudly. Ziva took a few steps back to rest against her desk, talking animatedly with Abby about her trip.

"Gear up!" Gibbs bellowed when he hung up the phone. "Dead petty officer in Rock Creek Park. Possible connection to a serial killer. You guys take the truck and I'll grab Ducky to meet you there."

"Got it," all three agents said in unison as they grabbed their packs and headed to the parking garage. Once on their way to the crime scene with McGee at the wheel, Tony wiggled his phone from his pocket and typed a quick message, a grin on his face.

"Who one Earth are you text-" Ziva was cut off when she felt her own phone vibrate in her pocket. Sighing animatedly, she pulled her phone from her pocket and flipped it open.

"Congratulations, my love."

"What are you talking about? Why do I deserve your congratulations?"

"Because, sweet cheeks, I've been keeping track and it's been nine months since you've cut. :)"

Looking up from her phone to make eye contact with Tony, a smile lighting up her face. She reached over to grasp his hand in hers, feeling his pulse beat in time with hers.

"I owe you my life, Tony," she leaned over and whispered into his ear.

"Well, you are my life," Tony whispered back, giving her hand a squeeze.

As Tony spoke those words, a feeling overcame Ziva that she hadn't felt since she was a child with her mother, Tali and Ari. A feeling that she never thought she would ever feel again. A feeling she knew she would be feeling for the rest of her life.

A feeling of peace.

* * *

**Kind of an awkward ending, but in a weird, twisted, crappy way, I kind of like it. **

**I kind of like the fact that Tony had been keeping track of how long it had been since she cut and was there-and always will be there-to remind her just how far she's come.**

**I'm thinking this is the last chapter, but I've got a third installment if you guys want me to start posting that. Or you can give me any story idea you want and I'll consider writing it. **

**Remember! The 200th Review will get a special one shot! Any genre-angst, romance, humor, or, my favorite, pure smut. XD**

**Lemme know if you wanna read the third installment!**


	22. Author's Note!

**Hey, guys!**

**Just wanted to let you guys know that I've posted the third installment of this series!**

**It's called 'Changes' and it's basically gonna follow all the changes that come along with Tony and Ziva's new life together.**

**Yay!**


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